jordifs
Jedi
I'm having now somewhat an emotional breakdown. It is weird because it is the second one in recent time. I had none before. On the first one I guessed some kind of external attack, may be psychic. But I did not know for sure what was hapenning to me. I only was sure it was not normal. Now is happening again and may be I've finally discovered what I've done wrong.
I've changed EE practice routines. I did an experiment. I've tried to engage the full program, beatha included, on a daily basis. For months, may be for more than a year. I've not documented my progress. Now I lost control of my self, again.
I'm in a state where I'm not sure about what I feel, or I do not feel. When I try to depict, to describe, I've seen I'm not able to explain with precision. I unconsciously lied, first to my self, thus affecting others outside and inside this forum. I'm so sorry. I cannot trust myself right now.
My experiment is over. I stop practicing beatha for some time. I'm not strong enough to handle whatever is flooding into my being, not all at once.
This also means that the EE beatha works, is very powerful, and practitioners must proceed with extreme care.
It seems silly to proceed so aggressively, I did it, and I'm now paying the consequences. So for any other person having the same idea, be advised. I failed to handle whatever is happening to me. And very important is that: I did not realised until it was too late.
I need to exit the forum for a week, until I feel my inner calm has returned. Forgive me to those which I affected with my wrong doing.
Yours,
Jordi
I've changed EE practice routines. I did an experiment. I've tried to engage the full program, beatha included, on a daily basis. For months, may be for more than a year. I've not documented my progress. Now I lost control of my self, again.
I'm in a state where I'm not sure about what I feel, or I do not feel. When I try to depict, to describe, I've seen I'm not able to explain with precision. I unconsciously lied, first to my self, thus affecting others outside and inside this forum. I'm so sorry. I cannot trust myself right now.
My experiment is over. I stop practicing beatha for some time. I'm not strong enough to handle whatever is flooding into my being, not all at once.
This also means that the EE beatha works, is very powerful, and practitioners must proceed with extreme care.
It seems silly to proceed so aggressively, I did it, and I'm now paying the consequences. So for any other person having the same idea, be advised. I failed to handle whatever is happening to me. And very important is that: I did not realised until it was too late.
I need to exit the forum for a week, until I feel my inner calm has returned. Forgive me to those which I affected with my wrong doing.
Yours,
Jordi