I had a couple crazy detox dreams the past few weeks. I'll post them here (instead of in the dreams thread) and on the EE forum because they started since I started doing EE. They were both the kind where I woke up saying "WHAT just happened?"
In the first one I started off in my room with some forum members. We were all having a sleep over and for some reason my room was possessed and I was too scared to leave it. Finally I apologized to everyone and told them I would clean up, and the next thing I knew I was outside and my dad was telling me that I didn't need a sniper to protect me anymore because I was able to handle the fear of the unknown. I had a weird sense that a dissociated part of my personality was being told that.
Then all of a sudden I was a little boy again, transported into memories of my dad that I can't consciously remember. I could smell his leather jacket and I felt extremely safe knowing, like a child knows, that he would die protecting me.
Well then I watched him walk away and I was left with the sense that I'd never see him again. But at that time I was transported into a room full of children playing hide and seek. A woman was playing with them too, though I couldn't see her face because she was hiding under a table. They were laughing, candles were lit as some of the children were reading to one another, and I realized that it was now my time to be a "father" and to sacrifice my "freedom" for the sake of others. It was a nice dream.
The next dream is the first detox dream I've ever had about my mother. I found myself talking to her, telling her I was sorry I had too much pride to reach out to her and make the first step to heal our relationship. We both cried and I asked her why she never told me anything about her, why I didn't know who she was. She started to tell me but then looked off into space. I grabbed her by her shoulders, knowing that she was dissociating and that I might never get a chance to see her again. But when I looked into her eyes I saw a wide, wide pasture with horses running wild and free. I have the sense that there are things she can never tell, but that it doesn't matter. It was another beautiful dream, and my mother and I have been speaking more ever since.
In the first one I started off in my room with some forum members. We were all having a sleep over and for some reason my room was possessed and I was too scared to leave it. Finally I apologized to everyone and told them I would clean up, and the next thing I knew I was outside and my dad was telling me that I didn't need a sniper to protect me anymore because I was able to handle the fear of the unknown. I had a weird sense that a dissociated part of my personality was being told that.
Then all of a sudden I was a little boy again, transported into memories of my dad that I can't consciously remember. I could smell his leather jacket and I felt extremely safe knowing, like a child knows, that he would die protecting me.
Well then I watched him walk away and I was left with the sense that I'd never see him again. But at that time I was transported into a room full of children playing hide and seek. A woman was playing with them too, though I couldn't see her face because she was hiding under a table. They were laughing, candles were lit as some of the children were reading to one another, and I realized that it was now my time to be a "father" and to sacrifice my "freedom" for the sake of others. It was a nice dream.
The next dream is the first detox dream I've ever had about my mother. I found myself talking to her, telling her I was sorry I had too much pride to reach out to her and make the first step to heal our relationship. We both cried and I asked her why she never told me anything about her, why I didn't know who she was. She started to tell me but then looked off into space. I grabbed her by her shoulders, knowing that she was dissociating and that I might never get a chance to see her again. But when I looked into her eyes I saw a wide, wide pasture with horses running wild and free. I have the sense that there are things she can never tell, but that it doesn't matter. It was another beautiful dream, and my mother and I have been speaking more ever since.
