Laura said:
I'm really wondering about this depression thing that so many have reported particularly since the Cs talked about it as all being connected to the endocrine system and that this system is your connection to higher densities/etc.
I haven't had the depression part other than the general depression that we get here doing the work we do day after day. But that's pretty normal and I'm able to get through it and have some bright spots now and then.
So what is going on, I wonder? Is the depression that some of you feel a sort of awakening/tapping into the emotional center that is otherwise somnolent?
A little update - I'm taking 3-4 drops lugol's a day now, along with the supplements (2xVit B + Selen + Zinc + Vit D + Vit C), and I now only have very slight detox syndromes (if at all).
Emotionally, there are very interesting things happening. On the one hand, there are less mood swings and more emotional stability for both of us (my wife does the protocol as well, only she takes 5-6 drops) - less snapping/arguing, better ability to deal with things, more calmness, more 'continuity' of little I's... Also, energy levels are generally up, though not always.
On the other hand, interestingly, there are moments of very low energy and (relatively mild) depressive states. I kind of feel that there's a heightened connection to the higher emotional center, but I can't be sure of course. I feel as if my emotions are less 'filtered', like I can see more clearly. But this also connects with the depressive states - indeed, dissociation doesn't work as it used to! Even when I dissociate, it's as if a part of myself, a part of my mind knows what's going on and keeps me connected to reality. It's as if I can't escape the universe giving me hints... As if I can't escape the universe's offer to dance as much as I could before. It's really interesting.
For example, I can feel a certain rhythm of energies that I wasn't aware of that much before. Suddenly, I will feel the need to get something done, and simultaneously become aware of the energy I have at my disposal to do so. And I know it's the exact right time to do it, and do it now. Even if I don't want to! Of course, I have the option to deny it, but a part of me seems to know that I loose an opportunity. So I kind of tend to 'bite through'. And if in the process another little I takes control and tries to prevent me from this (for example, just the other day I felt really afraid and in panic), often there is this part of me that seems aware of what's going on. There is clarity. And so I just do it anyway (or at least more often than I used to).
Connected to this, on the other hand, if I feel low in energy, I kind of feel less guilty. I even started taking short naps (maybe 30min) during the day if I feel down/tired, and it actually works! If I manage to 'release' all these thoughts and aspirations and become accepting of the current energies, I get calm and relaxed and oftentimes the productive energy actually comes back! Before, I just couldn't bring myself to do this, and couldn't relax - which is rather stupid, because it's much better to relax and renew the energy than to force yourself to not relax while getting nothing productive done. Heck, it's even better to be relaxed and get nothing done than it is to be tense and get nothing done!
In other words, it feels like I'm more accepting of the energies going on around me. There's this spike, this opportunity to do something specific? Got it - let's do it, it's the right thing to do, and the only thing, and there is no other choice. Feeling low? Okay, let's take a nap. It's okay. It's the right choice now. Missed an opportunity due to stubbornness/laziness? Not good. It's depressing me. I get irritable. But still, it's okay. Let's take the next one that is presented to me.
Also, there were moments of depressing clarity. For example, I listened to a podcast interview with a technical guy (a brilliant guy) talking about his biography and electronic inventions. And suddenly the realization hit me of how true it is that our world is entirely mechanical - as Gurdjieff said, you can have a brilliant career, but still everything is mechanical. I could literally see in my mind the 'unseen' paths that people just follow in the illusion they are actually deciding their fate. Unless we struggle with this unseen world, which is extremely difficult, we get just pushed forward by unseen forces. We do everything the easy way. We just follow along, because it's more convenient, and it's the only way we know. That way, nothing can ever make a difference. Humanity is one huge zero-sum game. This is horrible.
On another occasion, after a talk with a friend of mine (we don't have much contact), it dawned on me just how thoroughly entrapped humanity is. Even intelligent, critical people can't escape it. It's so horrible. All it takes is one psycho/narcissist, be it a partner, "friend", parent or sibling to drain someone to spiritual death. To block someone's perception. All those programs! All those traps! All those details, colors and fine shapes! Where to begin!? It's crazy.
The C's said:
"When you begin to separate limiting emotions based on assumptions from emotions that open one to unlimited possibilities, that means you are preparing for the next density."
Is that what it feels like? To separate limiting emotions like panic, crazy little I's trying to prevent you from doing the right thing etc. from 'higher' emotions like the universe's hand to offer you a dance, like the feeling that here's an opportunity you should take, or like acceptance of the paralysis we can feel due to the state of ourselves and the world?
I really don't know, and it's hard to say if all of these experiences are connected to Iodine or something else or both, and I hope what I wrote makes sense. It's just that some things seem different. I'm not sure what to make of all this.
