There are some triggers, but I find them embarrassing to share online. I just wanted to know if I could trust this guy. Guess I'll have to wait until I can find a therapist. What I'm afraid of is not to find one soon enough.
I think it is important to know, that there is no easy quick fix that helps with one session. And I can understand you, that you are overwhelmed imagining all the information you got already and what is available on the forum. Always, first step first and no rush. Looking for a therapist is a first important step imo: It is concrete and realistic. It may take some time till you get an appointment, but in the time in between you can do further research and as it was suggested looking in the diet section. But also here, take it slowly.
Hang in there and keep us updated, also when it is difficult. And regarding of feeling ashamed, we all did things we are ashamed of, I did it too and a lot in my past. But that's reason I'm here to become a better human being.