Éiriú-Eolas - Breathing Program

[Ollie]

Further to Laura's request,

It might help if somebody could post some extracts from Mouravieff about the emotional center so ya'll can review how it works (or is supposed to).

I have extracted some quotes that formed part of what I wrote in another thread on opening the emotional centre:

... Mouravieff and the exaggerated development of the motor and intellectual centre in man 3, to the detriment of the emotional centre, which is either degenerated or lethargic or even paralyzed. This quote is interspersed with quotes on the emotional centre, and on the wrong working of the centres

[…] the esoteric significance of the Chimera […]

The Chimera is an animal of higher type; with its lion’s head and the body of a goat, […] If it was a living being, […] it would have motor and emotional centres. It does actually have two centres in the psyche, but these are the motor and the intellectual. This can only have an unreal existence, chimeric in the true meaning f the word, as no bi-centred being exists in Nature other than those with motor and emotional centres.
…
The symbolism of the Chimera […] will help us better understand the condition of exterior man, who is dominated by the provisional ‘I’ of the incomplete Personality as well as by the times in which he spends his life, that is to say, (in which we spend) our lives.

One might say that the whole modern system of public education – primary, secondary and higher – is orientated almost exclusively towards the growth and development of the intellectual centre. […]

Alongside the exaggerated development of the motor and intellectual centres, the emotional centre […] looks like a poor relation […] little concern for its development. […] left to its own fate, a man’s emotional centre degenerates even further with age […] This state goes unnoticed.

[…] Due to education and training, oriented in our civilization towards the intensive training of the negative part of the motor centre and towards an intellectual culture, […] the activity of the emotional centre is forced even further into the background, to fall into a sleep bordering on lethargy.

[…] man is dynamic in these two domains [motor and intellectual], yet reveals weakness and a striking passivity on the emotional plane.
[…]
[…] Let us observe that generally even if the positive part of the emotional centre is in an almost uninterrupted state of lethargy, if not actually paralysed, its negative part acts frequently.

This section is specifically about the emotional centre, and its composition.

In the emotional center, at first glance, the division is quite simple and obvious. If we take pleasant emotions such joy, sympathy, affection, self-confidence, as belonging to the positive part, and unpleasant emotions such as boredom, irritation, jealousy, envy, fear, as belonging to the negative part, things will look very simple, but in reality they are much more complicated.

To begin with, in the emotional center there is no natural negative part. The greater part of negative emotions are artificial; they do not belong to the emotional center proper and are based on instinctive emotions which are quite unrelated to them but which are transformed by imagination and identification. […] External events and inner realizations produced inner reflexes which produced sensations; and these are interpreted as emotions. […]

Positive emotions are emotions which cannot become negative. But all our pleasant emotions such as joy, affection, self-confidence, can, at any moment, turn into boredom, irritation, envy, fear, and so on. […]

Even a purely intellectual emotion – the desire for knowledge – or an aesthetic emotion – that is, a feeling of beauty or harmony – if it becomes mixed with identification, immediately unites with emotions of a negative kind such as self-pride, vanity, selfishness, conceit, and so on.

So, we can say without any possibility of mistake that we have no positive emotions. At the same time, in actual fact, we have no negative emotions which exist without imagination and identification. Of course it cannot be denied that besides the many and varied kinds of physical suffering which belong to the instinctive center, man has many kinds of mental suffering which belong to the emotional center. He has many sorrows, griefs, fears, apprehensions, and so on which cannot be avoided and are closely connected with man’s life as illness, pain, and death. But these mental sufferings are very different from negative emotions which are based on imagination and identification.
[…]
[…] we are in a very strange position in relation to our emotional center. It has no positive part, and no negative part. Most of its negative functions are invented; and there are many people who have never in their lives experienced any real emotions, so completely is their time occupied with imaginary emotions.

So we cannot say that our emotional center is divided into two parts, positive and negative. We can only say that we have pleasant emotions and unpleasant emotions, and that all of them which are not negative at a given moment can turn into negative emotions under the slightest provocation or even without any provocation.

This is the true picture of our emotional life, and if we look sincerely at ourselves we must realize that so long as we cultivate and admire in ourselves all these poisonous emotions we cannot expect to be able to develop unity, consciousness, or will. […]
[…]
Now we must return to the study of centers […]

Besides the division into two parts, positive and negative, each of the [lower] centers is divided into three parts. These parts correspond to the definition of the centers themselves. The first part is “mechanical,” including moving and instinctive principles, or one of them predominating, the second is “emotional,” and the third is “intellectual.” […]

Each of these six parts is in turn subdivided into three parts: mechanical, emotional, and intellectual. […]
[…]
Let us take the emotional center. I will not speak at present about negative emotions. We will take only the division of the center into three parts: mechanical, emotional, and intellectual.

The mechanical part consists of the cheapest kind of ready-made humor and a rough sense of the comical, love of excitement, love of spectacular shows, love of pageantry, sentimentally, love of being in a crowd and part of a crowd; attraction to crowd emotions of all kinds and complete disappearance in lower half-animal emotions: cruelty, selfishness, cowardice, envy, jealousy, and so on.

The emotional part may be very different in different people. It may include in itself a sense of humor or a sense of the comical as well as religious emotion, aesthetic emotion, moral emotion, and, in this case, it may lead to the awakening of conscience. But with identification it may be something quite different, it may be very ironical, sarcastic, derisive, cruel, obstinate, wicked, and jealous – only in a less primitive way than the mechanical part.

The intellectual part of the emotional center (with the help of the intellectual parts of the moving and instinctive centers) includes in itself the power of artistic creation. In those cases where the intellectual parts of the moving and instinctive centers which are necessary for the manifestation of the creative faculty are not sufficiently educated or do not correspond to it in their development, it may manifest itself in dreams. This explains the beautiful and artistic dreams of otherwise quite unartistic people.

The intellectual part of the emotional center is also the chief seat of the magnetic center. I mean that if the magnetic center exists only in the intellectual center or in the emotional part of the emotional center, it cannot be strong enough to be effective and is always liable to make mistakes or fail. But the intellectual part of the emotional center, when it is fully developed and works with its full power, is a way to higher centers.

Diagram 2. Emotional Center.

[This shows a circle, the Positive part is a semi-circle, upper to the Negative part. In the Positive part, the Moving part of the Moving part are the Mechanical expression of the emotions; in the Emotional part of the Moving part are All emotions relating to one’s own likes and dislikes, Personal emotions; in the Intellectual part of the Moving part are the Results of small desires, little daily “wills”; in the Emotional part of the Positive part of the Emotional centre are Religious emotions, aesthetic emotions, moral emotions, may lead to Conscience; and in the Intellectual part of the Positive part are Artistic creation (Chief seat of Magnetic Center).]

[…] In the outer division of the negative part of the emotional center are the small negative “I’s” [irritation, impatience, disappointment, hurt, small worries, boredom, small envies, indignation, dissatisfaction, embarrassment] that can come at any time of the day, We can work on these at the time. Here are small irritations which can be worked on each day.

In the middle division of the negative part of the centrer are self-emotions. These are emotions which have become habitual, like self-pity, resentment, regret, melancholy, [and apathy, suspicion, sulkiness, rage, habitual worry, dislike, guilt] nostalgia, which is a kind of self-pity. These negative emotions have been with us for such a long time that you can’t work on them directly or at the time. They have to be worked on indirectly – through the mind – by metanoia. For example, with regret, you have to see that it is a negative emotion, and cancel it. So also with self-pity. It takes time. It can be done by thinking differently about it. […] Self-pity is due to a feeling of being owed. […] you will see that you have what is needed or what you have attracted. […] The deeper negative emotions, in the inner part of the center, are a different matter. People should know their own deeper negative emotions. Someone may have resentment, envy, or jealousy [or hatred, malice, fear, depression, sense of meaninglessness, despair, violence]. You should try to name it.

Getting back to man 3, chimeric being.

[…] In such a being (Chimera), the intellectual centre is generally well developed. Although this phenomenon is positive in itself, yet the result is that the intellectual centre weighs heavily on the remainder of the Personality. This imbalance is exaggerated still further by the fact, […], that the positive part of the emotional centre – the most precious organ in the whole organism of man’s psyche – is semi-paralyzed. From then on the negative part, left to itself, is deprived of all possibility of fulfilling its useful or constructive role of supporting the other in its work. It only comes into movement to allow man to express his negative emotions, so he does so over and over again in spite of their destructive effects.

Let us note once again that this state of man’s emotional centre is analogous to that of wild animals, in which the positive part of this centre generally remains unawakened. In cultured man it falls into lethargy because it is neglected. The difference is that an animal cannot awaken it except by ceasing to be an animal, where a man can do this at any time by conscious efforts made in appropriate exercise.
[…] in the majority of cultured men of our times the positive part of the emotional centre is practically paralyzed after the highly intensive development of an intellectual culture: feelings easily give away to calculation.

As for the motor centre […] works at full capacity. Responsible for the natural instinctive and motor functions that ensure that life of the organism and the movements of the body, it has always been the object of special training: military, sporting, artistic, etc. But in addition, because of the state of lethargy of the positive part of the emotional centre in contemporary man, for good or ill the motor centre also replaces it in its functions. The motor centre replaces the positive tenderness of affection, which the dormant emotional centre is incapable of providing, by the passionate tenderness of sensations dominated by a spirit of possession. In this domain too, the life of man’s psyche is then lowered to the level of that of an animal.

In the case we examined above, however, because the positive part of the emotional centre is practically paralyzed, the negative part cannot exercise its positive role. The only thing left to it is to make the centre vibrate with negative activity in the form of negative emotions. But the negative emotions of the composite nature take coarse forms, ruled by sensations and passions that belong to the motor centre. This allows us to constate yet again that in their unbalanced or chimeric aspect of the human Personality the emotional centre must be considered as an almost negligible quantity. […]

When the emotional centre is deprived of its normal functions, the number of links between centres is reduced from twelve to four. The eight chords which correspond to the finest and most suitable components of human morality are eliminated. This is due to the changes that occur in the structure of both the intellectual and motor centres; changes that lead to the impoverishment of both as the emotional sectors of these two centres practically disappear, due to the disappearance of their source since the emotional centre is in a state of lethargy. Because of this, the intellectual as well as the motor centre is left with only four active sectors instead of six.

Psychologically, this means that, having reached this state of disequilibrium in his Personality, man is from then on governed only by the intellectual and instinctive-motor considerations. This human type – the chimeric – is often found among the cultured classes of our time. It can produce people of great intellectual ability, but since intelligence is agnostic by nature and they are not oriented by the compass of the emotional centre, such people become amoral. For them, everything is permissible except what is forbidden: or rather, what is not punishable.

Wrong working of the centres.

”[…] each center has its own memory, its own associations, its own thinking. As a matter of fact each center consists of three parts: the thinking, the emotional, and the moving. […] In each center we know only one part. […]

“At the same time as we watch the work of the centers we shall observe, side by side with their right working, their wrong working, that is, the working of one center for another: the attempts of the thinking center to feel or to pretend that it feels, the attempts of the emotional center to think, the attempts of the moving center to think and feel. As has been said already, one center working for another is useful in certain cases, for it preserves the continuity of mental activity. But in becoming habitual it becomes at the same time harmful, since it begins to interfere with right working by enabling each center to shirk its own direct duties and to do, not what it ought to be doing, but what it likes best at the moment. In a normal healthy man each center does its own work, that is, the work for which it was specially destined and which it can best perform. These are situations in life which the thinking center alone can deal with and can find a way out of it. If at this moment the emotional center begins to work instead, it will make a muddle of everything and the result of its interference will be most unsatisfactory. In an unbalanced kind of man the substitution of one center for another goes on almost continually and this precisely what ‘being unbalanced’ or ‘neurotic’ means. Each center strives to do the work of another center for which it is not fitted. The emotional center working for the thinking center brings unnecessary nervousness, feverishness, and hurry into situations where, on the contrary, calm judgment and deliberation are essential. The thinking center working for the emotional center brings deliberation into situations which require quick decisions and makes a man incapable of distinguishing the peculiarities and the fine points of the position. Thought is to slow. It works out a certain plan of action and continues to follow it even though the circumstances have changed and quite a different course of action is necessary. Besides, in some cases the interference of the thinking center gives rise to entirely wrong reactions, because the thinking center is simply incapable of understanding the shades and distinctions of many events. Events that are quite different for the moving center and for the emotional center appear to be alike to it. Its decisions are much too general and do not correspond to the decisions which the emotional center would have made. This becomes perfectly clear if we imagine the interference of thought, that is, of the theoretical mind, in the domain of feeling, or of sensation, or of movement; in all three cases the interference of the mind leads to wholly undesirable results. The mind cannot understand shades of feeling. We shall see this clearly if we imagine a man reasoning about the emotions of another. He is not feeling anything himself so the feelings of another do not exist for him. […] In exactly the same way the mind cannot appreciate sensations. For it they are dead. […]

“’Imagination, is one of their principal sources of the wrong work of centers. Each center has its own form of imagination and daydreaming, but as a rule both the moving and emotional centers make use of the thinking center which very readily places itself at their disposal for this purpose, because daydreaming corresponds to its own inclinations. Daydreaming is absolutely the opposite of ‘useful’ mental activity. ‘Useful’ in this case means activity directed towards a definite aim and undertaken for the sake of obtaining a definite result. Daydreaming does not pursue any aim, dos not strive after any result. The motive for daydreaming lies in the emotional or in the moving center. The inclination to daydream is due partly to the laziness of the thinking center, that is, its attempts to avoid the efforts connected with work directed towards a definite aim and going in a definite direction, and partly to the tendency of the emotional and the moving centers to repeat to themselves, to keep alive or to recreate experiences, both pleasant and unpleasant, that have been previously lived through or ‘imagined.’ Daydreaming of disagreeable, morbid things is very characteristic of the unbalanced state of the human machine. […]
[…]
“In the sphere of the emotions it is very useful to try to struggle with the habit of giving immediate expression to all one’s unpleasant emotions. Most people find it very difficult to refrain from expressing their feelings about bad weather. It is still more difficult for people not to express unpleasant emotions when they feel that something or someone is violating what they may conceive to be order or justice.

“Besides being a very good method for self-observation, the struggle against expressing unpleasant emotions has at the same time another significance. It is one of the few directions in which a man can change himself or his habits without creating other undesirable habits. Therefore self-observation and self-study must, from the first, be accompanied by the struggle against the expression of unpleasant emotions.
[…]
The second thing was the demand “not to express unpleasant emotions.” I at once felt something big behind this. And the future showed that I was right, for the study of emotions and the work on emotions became the basis of the unpleasant development of the whole system. […]

“The emotional center can work with ‘hydrogen’ 12. In reality, however, it seldom works with this fine ‘hydrogen.’ And in the minority of cases its work differs little in intensity and speed from the work of the moving center or instinctive center.
[…]
“If the emotional center were to work with hydrogen 12, its work would be connected with the work of the higher emotional center. In those cases where the work of the emotional center reaches the intensity and speed of existence which is given by hydrogen 12, a temporary connection with the higher emotional center takes place and man experiences new emotions, new impressions hitherto entirely unknown to him, for the description of which he has neither words nor expressions. But in ordinary conditions the difference between the speed of our usual emotions and the speed of the higher emotional center is so great that no connection can take place and we fail to hear within us the voices which are speaking and calling us from the higher emotional center.
[…]
“Moreover, as has been already said, lower centers work in a wrong way, for very often, instead of their proper functions, one of another of them takes upon itself the work of the other centers. This considerably reduces the speed of the general work of the machine and makes acceleration of the centers very difficult. Thus in order to regulate and accelerate the work of the lower centers, the primary object must consist of freeing each center from work foreign and unnatural to it, and in bringing it back to its own work which it can do better than any other center.

“A great deal of energy is also spent on work which is completely unnecessary and harmful in every respect, such as on the activity of unpleasant emotions, on the expression of unpleasant sensations, on worry, on restlessness, on haste, and on a whole series of automatic actions which are completely useless. […] First of all there is the constantly moving flow of thoughts in the mind, which we can neither stop, nor control, and which takes up an enormous amount of energy. Secondly there is the quite unnecessary constant tension of the muscles of our organism. The muscles are tense even when we are doing nothing as soon as we start to do even a small and insignificant piece of work, a whole system of muscles necessary for the hardest and most strenuous work is immediately set in motion. […] But the chief point is that we spend muscular energy and continually and at all times, even when we are doing nothing. When we walk the muscles of the shoulders and arms are tensed unnecessarily; when we sit the muscles of our legs, neck, back, and stomach are tensed in an unnecessary way. We even sleep with the muscles of our arms, of our legs, of our face, of the whole of our body tensed, and we do not realize that we spend much more energy on this continual readiness for work we shall never do than on all the real, useful work we do during our life.

Resuming with man 3, chimeric being, with a dormant emotional centre.

[…]
[…] the case of the unbalanced we described in the [above]: that of the cultured man in our times, man 3, who has received extensive intellectual training (formation), and is successfully exercising an intellectual profession. […]

[…] highly developed intellectual centre is deformed in such a way that the hyperthrophied pure intellectual and intellectual-motor sectors, have almost entirely smothered the emotional sectors, […] this smothering often goes so far that […] These sectors are in a lethargic state like that of their source; if they are non-existent in practical terms they are at least always inoperative.

In the motor centre of the human type we are studying, the smothering of the emotional sectors has a different character. Although the functioning of those sectors is almost nonexistent – just as in the intellectual centre, and again due to the lethargic state of the emotional centre – because of the principle of Equilibrium there appears little by little a kind of tumour of the psyche. This tumour of hypersensitivity builds up over the positive part of the motor centre; […] it covers the higher semicircle of the motor centre.

This tumour, which is formed and kept working by the sexual energy and is connected to these sectors of the positive part of the motor centre, possesses its own tripartite structure in which the proportions (of the centre of the Personality as a whole) are involved: the emotional part of the tumour is much more developed than the intellectual and motor parts. […]

Let us remember that in the organism of this type of human psyche, this cap-tumour stands in for the emotional centre. It does this as best it can, substituting sensations impregnated with unsurped sexual energy for the true feelings: this carnal tenderness replaces noble tenderness of the heart. A man like this, whose hypertrophied intellectual centre outweighs his Personality as a whole, only takes into account his own reasons so that, to use the language of the tradition, he never stops crucifying Christ.

Sexual energy, SI-12, is not of the same nature as pure feelings of SOL-12, although it possesses the same fineness. The latter (energy) is missing in a man of this type. That is why he falls under the domination of the former. As long as this situation prevails, such a man proves incapable of opposing an effective resistance to this domination, and as the positive part of his emotional centre is lethargic, man has no reason to resist, and indeed does not resist the calls of sex that result from this condition of his centres. Conversely, in moments of relaxation, with the tacit agreement of the ‘I’ of the Personality, which desires a change of impressions, the ‘I’ of the body dictates its will to man instead of the real ‘I’.

The position of man 3 in ambience 3 does not give him the same advantages from the esoteric point of view. […] he does not have the same aptitude for balancing his Personality. He has to begin by developing an emotional centre which is partially or entirely dormant. So he first has to awaken it. This awakening is naturally more difficult for the man 3 in ambience 3. […]

Now, to move on to the means of the awakening of the lower emotional centre, and resuming from where Mouravieff left off.

If a man 3 feels the need for emotional development, for lack of anything better he will be forced to work empirically.

However, we can give him a valuable hint: human nature has an aptitude for being trained, and this can be profitably used to awaken the torpid emotional centre. With subtle and highly refined reasoning, the man 3 must in every circumstance imagine the reaction of the man 2 who is obedient to the call of his emotional centre. And he must by conscious effort react in the same way when not driven by emotion. It is a game. He will make mistakes and stumble many times, especially at the beginning. But if he takes the game seriously and makes it a permanent methodical exercise for all occasions, he will succeed in liberating his emotional centre from its state of stupor. He will then notice its spontaneous reactions and this first success will encourage him to continue his work. He must tirelessly persevere in this exercise of awakening until the emotional centre is completely aroused and quite ready for development.

The man 3 can find that this condition is an advantage. Except for negative emotions, his emotional centre is not greatly sullied, as it is so often asleep. If afterwards during the course of these awakening exercises he takes care that this centre does not become stained by all sorts of considerations and, above all, is not used for false aims, the man can become like a little child whose emotional centre is awake although underdeveloped and is neither deformed nor tarnished.
[…]
We have said that every negative emotion is composite. Pure negative emotion does not exist. But this mixture can only be produced and endure if it is stirred up by some passion. It is like water which dissolves certain salts only when brought to a high temperature. The negative emotion is born of a violent fit of passion, when one can be overcome by hate, jealousy, anger etc. by reversal of the mechanism of the psyche we described n the case of the harmonious love game, the negative emotion usurps the energy S)-12 of the sexual centre, that is the energy of carnal love, in order to manifest itself. The more violent the negative emotion expressed or suffered, the greater the quantity of energy SI-12 utilized. As in the negative case, this energy spreads over the whole of the motor centre and in the same way, penetrates the motor sectors of the intellectual and emotional centres by impregnating them. As long as the vibration from the motor centre, or from man’s animal instinct, continues, the motor sectors of the two other centres vibrate negatively: a state of profound confluence is the result. Here we are dealing with an essential point: the mechanization of the negative emotions can only function in this state of deep confluence. Driven by a shock or passion, man loses his inner peace and falls immediately into the state of confluence that forms the birth and development of negative emotions.

Generally, after a certain time, the negative emotion progressively loses its energy and is finally extinguished without conscious effort. We must add that once he has fallen into a state of confluence, man can get rid of the negative emotion only by exhausting the energies that it has brought to the surface. And the commotion that results does not disappear immediately. Negative emotions disturb the whole organism of the psyche, upset the Personality, and cause considerable loss of the finest and most precious energies which will be dragged into the movement. Man then needs time to rebuild reserves of fine energies.

A diametrically opposite effect is produced if at the moment when negative emotions arise in him, the subject remains calm and does not mechanically fall into a state of confluence.

Let us study the case of negative emotion that arise in us. Although irritation may build up over weeks, months or sometimes years, its explosion is always instantaneous. In other words, the negative emotion erupts and takes dynamic form in a very short time; in one or two seconds it rises in someone and overflows, putting them in a state of profound mechanical confluence. Finally it will be exteriorized in words or action.

Here we are brought back to the Doctrine of the Present. If, by persistent introspection, the subject manages to observe the rise of the negative emotion in himself immediately after its birth, that is, while the limits of the slot in his individual Present have not been crossed in the passing of time, it is possible for him to disassociate the components of this emotion. Introspective observation brightens our inner being just like a street lamp, and the negative emotions can only be formed and begin to act in inner darkness which characterizes the state of confluence. The light projected by constatation within the limits of the Present disassociates the negative emotions, and the passions which give rise to them then fall back into latent state.

But constatation has another effect that is of primary importance: the immediate dissociation of the components which constitute the negative emotion liberates the energy SI-12 which the passions had drawn into the motor centre; a result of constatation is that this is automatically concentrated in the emotional centre which it then sets in motion. We know that normal the intensive work of this centre is carried out with the aid of the fine energy of the 12th degree. A victory over negative emotion brings an inflow of joy into the lower emotional centre. This joy is an expression of the abundance of the energy SI-12 released by constatation. This latter makes the lower emotional centre vibrate at the rapid rhythm that is normal to it, and this enables the establishment of instantaneous contact with the higher emotional centre and triggers the release of a current of energy SOL-12 from the latter. This indicated that, correctly practiced through introspection and effective within the limits of the individual Present, constatation enables man to win a total victory. The inflow of higher joy that is the current of energy SOL-12 liberates can then transmute the energy of SI-12 freed from the mixture with SOL-12 by induction. The duration of contact between the lower and higher emotional centres established by this can be prolonged.

It is obvious that this possibility only exists for the disciple who, after having crossed the first Threshold, perseveres in climbing the Staircase, when he possesses a magnetic centre in formation. Each victory over a negative emotion accelerates the formation of this centre. […]

[…] emphasizes the two following parts:
- without the appearance of the negative emotion, the energy SI-12 is not drawn in by the motor centre. It remains in the sexual centre to be used for the latter’s needs;
- without a victory over this very same emotion, man cannot feel the joy that is provided by a current of energy SOL-12 coming from the higher emotional centre; and without this current, the energy SI-12 cannot be transmuted into Sol-12 as it is first drawn in by the appearance of the negative emotion, then liberated by introspective constatation within the limits of the individual Present. The more violent the negative emotion, the greater the quality of energy SI-12 drawn in, which can be transmuted into SOL-12 in case of victory.
[…]
We have just studied the negative emotions which are born in us. But as he advances up the Staircase, the neophyte will find the times when he feels a negative emotion arising in him becomes more and more rare. The energy SI-12 then remains asleep in the sexual centre, since the absence of passions no longer calls it towards the lower centres where it may be used.

It is at this point of evolution that the neophyte will find the obvious utility of those who are hostile to him. As long as he is on the Staircase it is in insults, hate, jealousy, treachery, and the contempt of other men that the faithful finds the elements necessary for him to awaken his emotional centre. By dominating the mechanical reactions that the reproaches and attacks of others may produce in him, someone who struggles between the two Thresholds separates and rejects the elements which are parasites on the fine energy mobilized by the negative emotions. We repeat: it is this energy which, having become available, allows the establishment of a contact with the higher emotional centre and accelerates the growth and development of the magnetic centre. The faithful finds in this struggle the source of energy that is indispensible to him in order to progress.

He will then understand that he can and must love his enemies and bless those who curse him.

This may help, or not.

Edit typing error.

 

[Cyre2067]

Hey Bio,

So when we align ourselves with STO more and more, those "future" selves lose their polarity and disappear. When I read your post, I thought you maybe accessed a possible future where you were a Lizzie(no offense) and in that future you have lost your STS polarity because of what you are doing today.

That's a comforting thought, honestly though I feel depreciated (a good thing). I think I identified with Zuko b.c of his anger, it's a really familiar emotion, esp when I started waking up my emotions that was the one I felt the most often.

Hi Puck,

That reminds me of something I read in Bringers of the Dawn:

...

Maybe its possible your frequency is changing and you did encounter one of these 'other yous'. Although I'm not quite sure this is how it would happen, it sounded like a possibility to me.

Hi Pete. Thanks for the quote, it helped put things in perspective. It was not a pleasant experience, maybe the next other me I encounter could be a little less evil - actually it'd be hard for me to imagine anything more entropic then what I saw myself as. Thus the shock value and disturbing factor.

So I did the meditation with the intent of discovering how true this flash was. It was probably the most emotionally intense meditation I've ever had. After just a few pipe breaths of the 3 stage breathing I broke out crying, not just sniffle, sniffle, tear but full blown on the floor choking gasping sobs, I kept mumbling apologies.

I thought this might have something to do with the fear they were describing.

Actually it was a ton of guilt and sadness as a result of seeing myself as pure evil, the remorse I felt for what I had done to people, it was a bit much (understatement of the century). The fear I felt came after, when I thought about discussing it here. I think it really scared me to bring it up because others have had past-life memories of being tortured or worse, and here I was having the perception of being the cause. I'm really freaked out. I'm glad I brought it up though.

So, let’s say that one of these incarnations decides to work with the Prayer of the Soul and begins to gain some objective awareness, thus aligning itself more with its soul. Let’s also say that this entity then experiences great ‘remorse of conscience’ for actions carried out by another entity in its ‘soul-family’. The entity experiencing the remorse of conscience feels the other entity’s pain fully (which is also its own pain) and releases it, thereby cleansing its heart. This action releases some of the pain the other entity caused to itself by its actions, and brings a little more light, not just to itself, but to all the other entities in the soul-family, thus actualising the words: ‘Carried in the heart, ruler of the mind, saviour of the soul’.

This may well lead to an awakening of conscience in the other entity, which may cause ripples in that entity’s world. And in this way, working with the Prayer of the Soul has the possibility to CHANGE EVERYTHING.

Hey Mada, I'm glad you found it interesting, experiencing it is anything but. I was quite depressed all day yesterday, it was hard for me to do anything, I kept feeling horrid, today I'm much better, but the echo is still there. I can still feel everything I experienced, the images are burned into my mind, it's been a humbling experience.

Re: your above quote, I didn't think of it that way. It felt distinctly 'in the past' then again, time doesn't really exist. It makes the connection between that other-self and my current self much more interactive, our actions affect each other and we can both learn and experience things that the other learned/experienced all in zero-time no less. I never would have thought that having another incarnation as something distinctly evil would empower me to become more STO in this life, nor that the efforts I make here could empower it to acquire conscience and to change. I think it goes to demonstrate the power of "choosing" that we all have, and how it can have far-reaching affects we never could possibly imagine.

Going through the feelings of disgust and horror at what you have been and done is part of the process. It may not be as dramatic for everyone, but it is part of the fusing of the emotional center and the awakening of true conscience. It is this horror and remorse that then becomes the fuel to "heal the present" as Gurdjieff said. It's easy to understand that healing the present can change the future, but also, in a strange way that we don't yet understand, when we "heal the present," it also changes the past. As the Cs once said: "The choice is ALWAYS, it's WHEN you choose that counts." I take that to mean that a person's "choice" is somehow always inside them and when they make it, it affects all their lives, past and future and even alternative realities/universes.

So, you are realizing that, as a human being in 3 D, you have had an affiliation to the "Lizzies" (we use that term for lack of a better one to describe that entropic path) - the Thought Center of STS. And, as a human being, you also have potential affiliation to a different Thought Center, STO. It's a choice. And it is a choice made every moment.

Hi Laura, that's kinda what I was getting at, I never thought of it as an interactive thing before. The experience itself sucks though, and I would hope to spare others some of the impressions I got. It's also kind of ironic, I always wondered what my 'past lives' were like, what had shaped me to be the way I am, and whammo - when I least expect it. It is comforting to know that 'other me' was a choice, and that current me can choose differently. Use the present to heal the past & prepare for the future, that makes a new sort of sense now.

Now, let me come back to something you wrote that is supremely important:

It's like all the anger I have directed at psychopaths and lizzies was actually aimed at myself, or a prior incarnation of myself. I was what I hate most. That is probably the most disturbing aspect of the entire experience.

This is a wonderful realization!

It certainly didn't feel wonderful, though I can see your point.

Most anger, suspicion, nit-pickiness, irritation, crankiness, and so on, is just that: projection of what is inside the self onto something outside so as to preserve the deep internal self-image as being "all good." I guess it's the esoteric meaning of the example of the "woman taken in adultery" in the NT where Jesus challenges those who condemn her by saying: "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."

At the same time, one has to keep constantly in mind "the choice." Just as you do not cast the first stone, you choose not to "commit adultery" though you understand that you have in past and the potential is within you. The difference between you and the woman caught in adultery is that she was caught and you were not.

Well it definitely gave a whole new meaning to having sinned. I've done some lousy things in this life, mostly directed at myself, so to see myself literally torturing other people... well... it was quite the shock (another understatement). I think it probably explains why I have so much anger directed at 4D STS/psychopaths...

Perhaps now you will want to re-read "The First Initiation" and it will make a whole lot more sense?

This part jumped out at me.

Yes, your “appreciation of yourself” blinds you. It is the biggest obstacle to a new life. You must be able to get over this obstacle, this threshold, before going further. This test divides men into two kinds: the “wheat” and the “chaff.” No matter how intelligent, how gifted, how brilliant a man may be, if he does not change his appreciation of himself, there will be no hope for an inner development, for a work toward self-knowledge, for a true becoming. He will remain such as he is all his life. The first requirement, the first condition, the first test for one who wishes to work on himself is to change his appreciation of himself. He must not imagine, not simply believe or think, but see things in himself which he has never seen before, see them actually. His appreciation will never be able to change as long as he sees nothing in himself. And in order to see, he must learn to see; this is the first initiation of man into self-knowledge.

Any appreciation of myself that I had had was decimated. Gone. Poof'd. I feel rather icky, again this is all 'positive' development which is one of those dualism's that is pretty 'fun' to grapple with.... it does make me realize I had appreciated myself, for this or that, and now its like any 'good' things I may have done up to this point are mere drops in the bucket compared to some of the things 'other me' has done. I'm still pretty shook up.

I'm glad no one else has had this type of experience, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and if it can be 'dealt with' unconsciously all the better.

 

[Z...]

I woke up early this morning and did the whole session.
It has been a while that I dont experience any of the things I use to experience in the begining, visons of purple all encompassing mesh etc.
Today was slightly different - during the prayer of the soul I found myself face to face with this bird of prey - I think it was an eagle - the focus was on the head. In fact he was gazing straight into my eyes - and all I could feel was his compassion - and this feeling is too strange to describe-but the closest would be "You can have my wisdom".
All in all I felt very benevolent vibe coming from this vision.
Later I thought of the experience I had few years back - when during the meditation for a few seconds I experienced being in body of this giant bird of prey, I even looked down on my self and could see big talons and hear the high pitched shriek of an eagle. I think I described this somewhere on the forum.
Found it - it's here - http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=4404.0

Not sure what to make of it - is it me connecting to my totemic animal (if there is such thing), or maybe I was a bird in previous life, or maybe this was independent entity I was in contact with?

The flavor of this was quite interesting. While my first encounter with this bird seemed like I accidentally slipped into this body- and this sensation lasted only for few seconds before it was chased by mind, this morning it seemed as if this bird was waiting there for me to see it
and establish the connection- well at least that was the impression I had after the encounter.

In any case I thought it was worth reporting.

On the other note - while I suffered a lot at the begining of the program during July and August ( which coincided with terrible heatwave and also attack of weird flu) and my energy was close to zero, most of september and now October my energy level has soared and I feel some strange joie de vivre - almost as if I was born again. The funniest part is - its a quiet energy and certainly not euforic, I feel I am much calmer then I ever use to be - and I even had people commenting how I seem different and that they never experienced me being
so calm and "zen" as they put it. There is extreme pressure at work sometimes, I am amazed to see how unstressed I am and how effortlessly I flow through the midst of such moments these days.

Whatever it is I am truly enjoying the ride and feel this is just the begining. Right now I feel I should send a big hug to Laura to express my gratitude for helping me to come to this point :)

The part I enjoy the most is this connectedness ( if I can describe it that way) to everything in my surroundings. Whomever I interact with - it is as if I can effortlessly reach out to this person, animal or entity ( occasionally I can register energy entities in my surroundings) and feel what they feel (if they feel that is, as sometimes it happens - it's just dark void there)- and this for me is the greatest gift of all since I spent most of my life in perpetual almost insane self absorption.

Rock On Cosmic Mind!

 

[Z...]

I think it really scared me to bring it up because others have had past-life memories of being tortured or worse, and here I was having the perception of being the cause. I'm really freaked out. I'm glad I brought it up though.

Well there is another side to it. Don't forget what goes around - comes around. I think you are actually lucky you jumped that far at the begining.
I remember once, some time ago I did hypnotic regression to past lives. Its funny you mention chopping off someone's hands as during this session it transpired I was someone who was tortured and whose hands were destroyed by fire.
Anyhow this "person" (if it wasn't the figment of my imagination) immensely suffered, he was the member of some sect (at the time I liked to believe Patarens ) and he miraculously survived destruction of his people having to spend the rest of his life in hiding and isolation. There was a clear notion that all this suffering is a payback time for something, utterly horrible I did before.
I never went back and never went further into the past - God knows what I would discover.
What I am trying to say is- try not to lose the bigger picture, not to be judgmental or identify too much - just get the popcorn watch the show and see what you can learn from it. OSIT

 

[Gawan]

Hi there,
well I'm still hanging around on page 95, cause of lacking time and a thought popped up whilst doing Beatha-breathing today, if there is a chance of creating a summary of the many different and as well similar experiences written so far in this thread (like a guide for the braething)? (maybe a chance for team work again?)
Because I can imagine if someone new is starting to read this thread it could take ages and then there is also the chance (which was the main point of this thought) of using this summary for the translation group, simply to have -experiences- from users available in different languages, for people who aren't that good in English.

my two cents.

 

[Vulcan59]

Hi Gawan,

well I'm still hanging around on page 95, cause of lacking time and a thought popped up whilst doing Beatha-breathing today, if there is a chance of creating a summary of the many different and as well similar experiences written so far in this thread (like a guide for the braething)? (maybe a chance for team work again?)

It's funny you mentioned that because I had started and abandon the summary twice. I couldn't get the format correct. I first did it by stating the experience and the relevant quote below but that ended up too long. My second attempt was to state the experience and then linking it via the posting number which kind of looked odd to me. So perhaps members can contribute some ideas as to how to go about doing a summary of the EE breathing program. Any suggestions ?

 

[Bo]

Hi Gawan and Vulcan and other,

I am for some time already working on a EE guide/faq it should be ready this week.

 

[Vulcan59]

Hi Bo,

Thanks for doing it. Looking forward to the summary.

 

[Buddy]

I had been thinking of something also, but on second thought, my idea would simply have been redundant to the search function.

Fwiw, if a group project idea needs a collection of HTML pages compiled into an ebook that is executable on the Windows platform and that is keyword searchable, I'm at your service. :)

 

[Windmill knight]

I thought I would update how my own experience is going.

Generally speaking, the last month or so I have had a lot more peace and clarity of mind during the day; 'zen', like Corto Maltese described it. But at the same time I have had many moments during the day of inner crankiness, resentment, anger, feeling worthless and bad, etc. The difference with the past, I think, is that it is so much easier to see those emotions as projections and programs, usually with great clarity about where they come from (mostly childhood). I recently came to a deeper and better realization of how much the desire of being accepted and validated by the people who are important to me has ruled my life. The resentment, which I have repressed most of my life, comes from not getting enough 'acceptance' and then feeling worthless. And now it has become very transparent to me how much this dynamic of being either a 'good, cool, smart boy' to be admired or accepted; or secretly resentful and acting in predatory ways as a result, has determined me. It is the whole basis of my false personality, and I can trace virtually every trait of myself to this narcissistic black/white attitude. This insight is discouraging, but there it is. So, there is clarity of mind plus an almost daily revisiting of childish emotions, and it feels like a sky partially covered with clouds, that allows the sun to shine now, only to be obscured then, and shine again. Or perhaps it's like recovering bits of the psyche one small bit at a time in a controlled way; I hope.

I've had a number of intense dreams as well, emotionally charged, but then I've always been an intense 'dreamer', so I don't know how much of that is related to EE. There was only one dream that I think could possibly refer to a past life, although it didn't feel terribly dramatic, but it was very strange because I was totally a different person, one type which I've never identified with, positively nor negatively. I dreamed I was an Indian man in his fifties, with a black beard and a turban, like the Sikh maybe. I had a teenage daughter whom I loved very much. There was a young man courting her, and one day the three of us were driving in a car, with the guy at the wheel, and he crashed hitting a bus and we all died. The funny thing is that right after we appeared in what looked like a public library, now all dead, and I was furious at the guy because he had got us killed with his reckless driving, but most furious that he had managed to kill my dear daughter as well!

Yesterday I was reading some of Laura's comments on the meditation and I decided that I needed to concentrate and focus more on the prayer. So I did the 3 stage breathing without the audio and then the meditation for a bit less than an hour. I had images of sweeping with a broom during the "cleanse my heart" parts. Then I slept and had yet another emotionally charged dream (not distressing, but rather comforting and perhaps symbolic of a sort of a resolution, I think), and then in my dream I started hearing someone sweeping the floor. I looked around and was a bit alarmed that I didn't know who was doing the sweeping, and then I saw myself sweeping and thinking "this time I will start cleaning from the parts closest to the core and move to the surface". Then the sweeping sound became louder and transformed into waves of energy going through my body, which woke me up. It's possible that the sound was my own breathing - maybe I was unconsciously pipe-breathing?

I'm not sure how meaningful these things are, but if they are, I suspect there is still much much more sweeping to do.

 

[Brenda86]

Quote from Windmill Knight:

and then I saw myself sweeping and thinking "this time I will start cleaning from the parts closest to the core and move to the surface". Then the sweeping sound became louder and transformed into waves of energy going through my body, which woke me up.

Something about this really moved me. I am trying to find the words to describe it how it made me feel. All I can say is that really resonated with something in me and I'm glad you posted it. :)

 

[Nević Nenad]

Most anger, suspicion, nit-pickiness, irritation, crankiness, and so on, is just that: projection of what is inside the self onto something outside so as to preserve the deep internal self-image as being "all good." I guess it's the esoteric meaning of the example of the "woman taken in adultery" in the NT where Jesus challenges those who condemn her by saying: "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."

At the same time, one has to keep constantly in mind "the choice." Just as you do not cast the first stone, you choose not to "commit adultery" though you understand that you have in past and the potential is within you. The difference between you and the woman caught in adultery is that she was caught and you were not.

I’m sincerely hope so that constant struggle not to be like that is good one. Its struggle from minute after minute to observe myself, observe my emotions, thinking and behavior, and all that to be easy on people around me. Fight the urge to be greedy, to be “always in right”, to be cranky without cause. Trying to listen the people around me, and think what exactly to say them, what to do, how not to hurt them in any way, how to best respect their free will, trying to feel what they feel. Well it’s really like consciously (hoping so) making choice not to do that, not to be “bad”.


It’s often very hard and very different from “just feeling love and spreading light all around you blah blah . . .” but I think with time it somehow begins to be easier to do, more natural.


I was also thinking and forgive all the people around me everything that I could remember, every little thing that I took in the past as bad from them. I was told them that, some was taking me seriously and some was laughing like mad. Also I asked them to think if they can remember some bad things that I do to them and if they can forgive me that, also mixed reactions, some was very emotional, some was laughing, and some was, well, blank, I can’t think of better word.


In the middle of the August I was almost beat up a man in his car in front of my house. On the end it all ended well (and it could be very bad for me, the man is one of the senior judges in my town). But even with the good ending of that incident, I was in shock for a couple of days, I have barely spoken a few words for a days, I was almost trembling. Then I realized that I was disgust and frightened of myself. It was big relieve, the next day I have twisted the knee very badly, and didn’t recovered fully even now, but I did take that as a good sign that now I can base my thoughts on healthy fundaments.

 

[aragorn]

Generally speaking, the last month or so I have had a lot more peace and clarity of mind during the day; 'zen', like Corto Maltese described it. But at the same time I have had many moments during the day of inner crankiness, resentment, anger, feeling worthless and bad, etc. The difference with the past, I think, is that it is so much easier to see those emotions as projections and programs, usually with great clarity about where they come from (mostly childhood). I recently came to a deeper and better realization of how much the desire of being accepted and validated by the people who are important to me has ruled my life. The resentment, which I have repressed most of my life, comes from not getting enough 'acceptance' and then feeling worthless. And now it has become very transparent to me how much this dynamic of being either a 'good, cool, smart boy' to be admired or accepted; or secretly resentful and acting in predatory ways as a result, has determined me. It is the whole basis of my false personality, and I can trace virtually every trait of myself to this narcissistic black/white attitude. This insight is discouraging, but there it is. So, there is clarity of mind plus an almost daily revisiting of childish emotions, and it feels like a sky partially covered with clouds, that allows the sun to shine now, only to be obscured then, and shine again. Or perhaps it's like recovering bits of the psyche one small bit at a time in a controlled way; I hope.

That sure sounds familiar! In addition to all that you mention above I'm really struggling with this "congratulating one self"-thing. Every time I recognize these programs and reactive actions that are not part of my core self, but coping mechanisms from childhood, I tend to congratulate myself: "Well done, that's another one neutralized!" I believe that Castaneda was absolutely right about this; even if this "finest hour" is just a fraction of a second it feels "evil" somehow. It feels like when I congratulate myself from exposing me, I'm actually taking credit and elevating myself - MY EGO ENFLATES. It strikes me as a really narcissistic attitude (even if it is just this tiny moment).

So those of you that recognize this and have experienced it, how have you tried to overcome this?!

 

[Tigersoap]

Thank you Laura, Luthien, Puck and Bohort :)
It really helps.

Thank you Trevrizent for quoting Mouravieff.

I think it's just the other side of the same coin, ie narcissistic wounding: "all good/all bad". Personally I never considered myself as "all good" at all, but I realise I have been using that self-deprecatory image I had of myself out of laziness, to not make any effort or attempt at changing. "I'm bad in essence, so why trying anyway?".
I'm just talking about my own situation and am not saying this applies to you. But yeah, personally I'm more than "happy" to perceive myself as "all bad" a lot of the time. It's VERY hard to extract oneself from this (comfortable) swamp of negativity

Well it does apply to me.
I have been used to give up on myself a lot of times and not allow any hope for change to come into my life, luckily enough, there were changes but I most often would not want to acknowledge them because it is threatening to this negative self-image.

To give an example of how my predator's mind likes to keep me in the negative, when reading Laura's comments, I was thinking that "no it's not possible, I haven't made any progress at all, the EE isn't doing anything for me..."

The good part is that I hear "it" but don't listen to "it" as much as I used to, at least in such situation, and it's already huge.

To get out of a swamp, you need stilts, so I think the EE and the forum members provides that :D

In retrospect I can see how the EE allowed me more and more to accept myself as being not only all bad or all good.
Like Laura said, this black and white thinking is slowly changing in different shades of grey.

It's great that it has so many positive effects on many people !

 

[Gawan]

Hi Gawan and Vulcan and other,

I am for some time already working on a EE guide/faq it should be ready this week.

Thank you Bo, this is much appreciated! I'm looking forward to it.