Chapter XL

You take the high road and I'll take the low road
and I'll be in Scotland afore ye!


 

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The Secret History of The World by Laura Knight-Jadczyk

Discover the Secret History of the World - and how to get out alive!

 

 

The Wave

Wave Index

[ Chapter 01 ]
[ Chapter 02 ]
[ Chapter 03 ]
[ Chapter 04 ]
[ Chapter 05 ]
[ Chapter 06 ]
[ Chapter 07 ]
[ Chapter 08 ]

[ Chapter 09 ]
[ Chapter 10 ]

[ Chapter 10b ]
[ Chapter 10c ]

[ Chapter 11 ]
[ Chapter 11b ]

[ Chapter 11c ]
[ Chapter 11d ]

[ Chapter 11e ]
[ Chapter 11f ]

[ Chapter 11g ]
[ Chapter 11h ]

[ Chapter 11i ]
[ Chapter 11j ]

[ Chapter 11k ]
[ Chapter 12 ]

[ Chapter 12b ]
[ Chapter 12c ]

[ Chapter 12d ]
[ Chapter 12e ]

[ Chapter 12e1 ]
[ Chapter 13 ]

[ Chapter 13a ]
[ Chapter 13b ]

[ Chapter 13c ]
[ Chapter 13d ]

[ Chapter 13e ]
[ Chapter 13f ]

[ Chapter 13g ]
[ Chapter 13h ]

[ Chapter 13i ]
[ Chapter 13j ]

 
 

 

 

Addiction.

I have made the statement that we are made addicts inside our own skins.

And, I am fairly certain that most people reading that remark are quite certain that they are not! Especially if they are careful of their diet and habits of mental and physical hygiene.

But, I say again: we are made addicts inside our own skins.

And, what's more, we are addicted to our emotions.

Curiously, the ones who resist that idea most strenuously are very much like an alcoholic who vigorously and vehemently declares that he is NOT an alcoholic.

Alcohol.

Alcohol is everywhere. Tens of millions of human beings experience the consequences of alcohol addiction, from decreased job performance to liver damage to spouse and child abuse, to total breakdown of social concepts and constraints ending in the proverbial "skidrow bum" looking every day for his MD 20-20 - or even a can of Sterno.

And that is just alcohol. We aren't even going to list the statistics for other drugs as it would be tedious and pointless. You have the idea.

Alcohol and other drugs have the ability to do what they do in our systems because they act because they are "fixed;" they are synthetic ligands; they bind to our receptors and, in various ways, produce their effects. It is the nature of these specific effects that we now want to examine.

When an ovulating female boar is exposed to a pheromone from a male boar's saliva, the scent travels along the olfactory nerve directly into the amygdala, stimulating the release of neurotransmitters, the result of which is that she becomes immediately and completely paralyzed in a spread-legged mating posture! Naturally, this fact has led to the marketing of a number of pheromone based men's colognes designed to produce the same effect in the human female! (Nice try, guys!)

If you give rats in a cage access to both food and cocaine, the rats will consume the cocaine and ignore the food. And they will end up starving themselves to death with a limitless supply of food available. And, of course, that makes us think of the alcoholic who has gin for breakfast, bourbon for lunch, and brandy for dinner - ending up in the hospital with a severe case of malnutrition.

Caffeine is the most frequently used drug of all. In his Coffee Cantata of 1732, J.S. Bach wrote:

Ah! How sweet coffee tastes! Lovelier than a thousand kisses, sweeter far than muscatel wine!

A couple of centuries later, Isak Dinesen wrote:

Coffee... is to the body what the word of the Lord is to the soul.

Caffeine has a strong effect on nearly every animal species. Rats being taught to navigate through mazes learn their lessons faster after being given coffee. Not only that, but they remember better. Competitive cyclists have discovered that they can pedal 20% longer if they drink caffeine an hour before racing. Some of them even go to the extreme of using caffeine suppositories before racing - sort of a "time release" kick in the behind!

Following ingestion of caffeine, even sperm get a "kick." They swim faster and wiggle more vigorously increasing their ability to "hit the spot!"

And, for most people, caffeine is generally safe. After years of searching for negative side effects, there is no real evidence that moderate consumption of caffeine does us any harm. If it gives you the jitters, just cut back. It's one of the perks of 3d density experience, in my humble opinion!

What we want to know here is, how does caffeine work?

As our neurons process information, they produce cellular waste including a buildup of molecules of adenosine. Adenosine is a ligand that binds with the adenosine receptor sending a message deep into the cell that it is time to sleep. As the production of adenosine continues throughout the day, as a byproduct of cerebral activity, more and more adenosine is produced, binding with more and more receptors, sending more and more sleep messages into more cells. And little by little our brain cells become more and more sluggish until we just simply must go to sleep. We literally can't remain conscious. We yawn; our eyes water and try to close and we just want to curl up and let the lights go out.

So, we have a cup of espresso. The caffeine molecule just happens to be the right "shape" for the adenosine receptor. It hops on and binds, thereby blocking the real adenosine which sends the sleep message. Apparently, caffeine sends a different message, or at least prevents the sleep message from being sent. It interrupts the sleep signal.

This is just a small example of how dramatically chemicals can affect the brain.

We have already mentioned the rats who were implanted with electrodes for self-stimulation who would push the button until they were exhausted. Well, there were additional experiments done along this line. It seems that if the electric reward is doled out only when the rats learn a new trick - such as navigating a maze - the little critters will go to work like crazy to get the job done so that they can get their "buzz." As long as the rewards keep coming, the rats will keep working - even mastering incredibly complex and seemingly impossible mazes that humans would find nearly impossible!

But it's not the learning they love. We already know that, given the opportunity, they will forget everything - food, mates, friends, whatever - to push that damn button until they collapse in mindless ecstasy!

Now, in the human being, (as in other creatures), the sensation that is experienced as orgasm is the same release of chemicals that stimulate the same part of the brain that makes the rats so happy. Some scientists refer to this in technical jargon as the "do-it-again" center. [cf. Burnham and Phelan.] When this center is stimulated, whatever activity is associated with it will be sought again and again.

We have, it seems, a lot of "do-it-again" chemicals with a lot of "do-it-again" receptor sites all over our bodies. Certain foods in different people act in this way. Some people feel euphoria when they achieve victory over a rival in some sort of competition. Aside from the most obvious example of sex, these are examples of other things that can cause the secretion of these "do-it-again" chemicals.

By having such a "pleasure system" in our bodies, we have a built in reward system by which we can be manipulated to pursue any number of activities that may or may not be good for us; mostly based on - you guessed it - early imprinting. And, we are generally unaware of it; we simply engage in certain behaviors because it "feels good" and we want to do them "again." We were rewarded for them as infants and small children, and we constantly seek that "programmed behavior" in order to receive the reward. Never mind that our early programming may have been for behaviors that completely block the true expression of our "essence," or that they are based on "fairy tales" or unrealistic perceptions of life.

Now, drugs "short circuit" these centers. The ways that drugs work are interesting, but in our context here, we just want to look at them as a sort of path to understanding the body's own chemicals..

When we take certain drugs, our brain acts as if the "natural" neurotransmitter were flooding the system. The brain thinks we have done something really great such as finding food or warmth while, in reality, we may be hunkered down in a flophouse with a hypodermic of heroin in our arm. Our pleasure centers know only that they are bathed in chemical bliss. Never mind that the first time we tried it, we were disgusted and repelled by the setting, the process, all the external elements. Once we have received that reward, we are convinced that this nasty setting, this ignominious behavior that is clearly damaging to the self, is "okay" and "desirable" for the reward we are going to get.

Now, let's take a look at this in a practical way. Psychologist Barbara De Angelis writes:

Falling in love is a magical and powerful experience. Each kiss, each conversation, each moment in the beginning seems so right, so perfect. But soon attraction and infatuation become a "relationship," and we are brought down to earth with the challenging realities of sharing our life with another human being. And as those first enchanted weeks turn into months, one day we find ourselves asking: "Is this person right for me?" ...Since my first serious relationship at seventeen, and, until recently, I fell in love without giving serious consideration to whether the person was right for me, let alone whether they loved me enough. Someone showed up, and if he had something lovable about him, I would start a relationship. I'd convince myself he was "the one," only to find out that we were incompatible and watch the relationship fail. ...After too many heartbreaks, I was forced to face the sad truth: In spite of my experience, education, and my intense desire to be happy, I continually chose partners who were not right for me. I was falling in love with the wrong people for the wrong reasons.

Have you ever thought or said the following about one of your relationships?

How could I have been so blind? Why didn't I see what he/she was really like?
I felt so sure that, this time, it would work. Where did I go wrong?
He seemed so wonderful when we first met. I can't figure out why he changed into someone I can't stand.
All the signs were there from the beginning that she didn't feel the way I did. I guess I just ignored them and convinced myself things would get better.
We loved each other, but we couldn't agree on anything, and all we did was argue.
I was so sure he was different from the other men I'd been with. It took me almost two years to find out that I'd picked the same type of guy all over again! How could I have wasted so much time?
I remember feeling really in love with her at the time, but the truth is, I never told anyone we were together because I was embarrassed to admit I was even involved with a woman like that.
Everything about him seemed so perfect; I kept telling myself that I should be happy with him, but there just wasn't any chemistry. [De Angelis, Are You the One for Me?, 1992]

Such situations arise because of the "fairy tales" we are taught as children; the examples of "lying to ourselves" about our true feelings that are set because we are told and shown that rewards only come when we suppress our true feelings and follow the "rules." Dr. De Angelis continues:

Ask most people why they fell in love with their partners, past or present, and you'll probably hear answers like this:

I met Kathy at the gym where I work out. Something about the way she got so into that aerobics class and gave it so much energy really appealed to me.

[All Kathy's boyfriend knows about her is that she has a lot of physical energy and he is programmed by his particular socio-cultural system to believe that physical energy is very good and will be rewarded. Thus, somebody who has a lot of physical energy is "lovable." He may also have had very positive experiences with someone in his childhood who had a lot of physical energy, and who regularly made him feel loved.]

Donna was a bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding. She looked so beautiful in this pink strapless dress - I knew on the spot I was going to fall in love with her.

[All Donna's boyfriend knows about her is that she looked good in pink chiffon. We might think that the color pink has powerful associations in his amygdala.]

Jo Anne and I knew each other since we were kids. Everyone always said we'd probably get married when we grew up, and I guess I never even questioned it - it seemed like the right thing to do.

[Jo Anne's husband has been so influenced by what his friends and family think that he doesn't even know why he loves her. We might think that "obedience to the family" has received some very positive reinforcement in his life. Conversely, thinking for himself may have received a great deal of negative reinforcement.]

Alex and I were assigned to work together on a project in our office. I think it was watching him problem-solve - he is so creative - that attracted me to him.

[Alex's girlfriend is enthralled with his business skills but has no idea what his emotional skills are. Creativity in solving problems may have been well rewarded in her home environment as a child. She may also have been exposed to highly creative "problem solvers" as male role models, receiving regular rewards from them. Thus, she associates these skills with love.]

I've always been a sucker for music, so when I heard Frank play the guitar at a friend's house, I knew he was the one for me.

[Frank's partner has fallen under a musical spell - she knows nothing about him except for the romantic personality she assumes all guitar players have. And why does she assume this? Because it is programmed into her amygdala!]

This sounds terrible, but I always had this fantasy of a tall, dark-haired man with a mustache. Dennis looked exactly like that, and nothing else really mattered.

[Dennis's girlfriend likes the way he looks - she is attracted to a fantasy, but doesn't know anything about the person underneath. And where did she get the fantasy? A program.]

None of these people thought they were making the wrong decision. They all sincerely believed that they were making intelligent, sensible choices in their partners. But, the frightening truth is that many of them will discover in a month, or six months, or six years that they are in a relationship with the wrong person.

Most people put more time and effort into deciding what kind of car or video player to buy than they do into deciding whom to have a relationship with.

Love myths are beliefs many of us have about love and romance that actually prevent us from making intelligent love choices. ...Consciously and unconsciously, we base our decisions in relationships on these Love Myths. An example is: If I love my partner enough, it won't matter that:
he drinks
our sex life isn't great
she criticizes me all the time
we fight constantly over how to raise the children
he is a strict Catholic and I am Jewish
I'm not really sexually attracted to her
he doesn't have a job and hasn't worked in two years
she has a terrible temper and blows up all the time
he constantly flirts with other women
I don't get along with her children
he has a hard time telling me how he feels
his family doesn't accept me
I want children and he doesn't
she still hasn't gotten over her ex-boyfriend

 

One way to tell if your relationships are simply "running the program" is to examine how you "prove" to yourself that you are really "in love." Do you dwell on the intense connection of chemistry of the beginning, trying always to recapture this, and fail to examine the rest of the relationship?

Have you ever convinced yourself that you love your partner to justify continuing to have sex with them, even though the fire has long ago gone out?

Conversely, have you ever been in a relationship where the only place you got along together was in bed?

When we believe the Love Myths, we inevitably become involved with people we are not really compatible with. We feel constantly empty, and none of our needs are fulfilled. And, at the same time, even if we are trying to fulfill their needs, they always seem to know that it is an effort to get them to fulfill our needs, and the relationship has nowhere to go but down.

And then we are faced with the next Love Myth problem: We stay in the relationship longer than we should and have trouble letting go of a partner who, in moments of cold clarity, we realize are NOT right for us. We do this because we are taught to do it. We see the examples set for us as children; we are rewarded for not being a "quitter," and are inculcated in the belief that "a promise is a promise," and keeping promises, at whatever cost to us, is rewarded, and breaking them will result in dire consequences. The family pressures of our social and cultural beliefs come into play strongly here, and we are convinced that we must always sacrifice our wants and needs for those of others. We must "suffer" to be "good," and to be "rewarded." We live our lives like Dicken's Oliver saying: "I want more." And we want more because we are starved and drained, and manipulated to suffer so as to be "food" for 4th density STS.

Now, let's look at a real-life situation that plays out the drama exactly as the theorists have predicted:

Some time back I received correspondence from a reader who wrote to me describing her years of suffering; her dreadful childhood, her marital unhappiness, suicidal feelings, and on and on. She described her father as: "a highly intelligent and spectacularly manipulative individual, endowed with psychic energies and a very heavy 'presence'," and her mother as "beautiful, clever, unhappy, terrorized by my father - as was I - and learned to like alcohol."

She described her first marriage, children and divorce, increasing health problems and finally meeting her present husband who "was the first person I knew who was willing to accept me and my children. I was not "in love" with him though I found him attractive. I thought love would come later. ... Later we had two children of our own."

The next remark is particularly telling considering the description of her father as "highly intelligent and spectacularly manipulative individual, endowed with psychic energies and a very heavy 'presence'..." She wrote:

My husband also has strong intuitive and psychic abilities... My husband and I bickered almost from the start, and it only grew worse. Not a day has gone by in over 30 years of marriage that we have not been at each other's throats, or without raised voices. Our life together has been chaotic, moving constantly, no coherent thread to my life though it doesn't seem to affect him much. He loves to travel, and I did too at first. Now I am numb. Our misadventures along the way would make a saga. I have always turned them into comedies, but underneath there is a great waste of a life. My life.

But notice: even though she describes her husband as "psychic," reflecting the programmed imprint of the father, and clearly she is looking for a father because she was not "in love," but she married him because he accepted her and her children, she does not ascribe to her husband the same "heaviness" of the father, nor the "spectacular" manipulativeness. She has made a conscious effort to NOT "marry the father." And yet... she did. Not only that, she "became her mother." No, she is not "terrorized" by her husband, not in the overt way her father did it - but the result is exactly the same. You could even say that it is a form of unconscious manipulation through poverty as is clear in the following remark:

And strangely he once said he wondered if I brought him my "bad luck," for our life together has been an unending series of bad choices, bad decisions, financial catastrophes. Even our friends over the years have shaken their heads in mystification.

Apparently, this husband is a far better manipulator than her father was - mainly because he is not even conscious that he is manipulating. One of the clearest clues to being manipulated is feeling "guilty."

I am consumed by guilt which has been my overriding emotion for all the years of our marriage. Guilt over what I can't imagine. The failure to make another happy? But why can't he see I am dying by inches? ...I have not accomplished what I need to in this life, and I never will as things are. ...why had I always put off my own path and tried to please everybody else and live up to their own agendas?

So, even though we read in these words the fact that this woman clearly has all the answers to her problems right there in her own psyche, she cannot SEE them. The soul inside her is dying to live. But her programs are too strong. The "belief in the Love Myths" is dominating, and the clear and present danger of the predator is not even suspected.

I have lost all interest in anything except the natural world I see on my daily walks. I must have wept gallons of tears in the past several months. Anything will trigger me off. I look at a cloud and start weeping. Yet my husband notices nothing. Nothing at all, save for the fact I am a little ......... undemonstrative. I long for solitude, for inner freedom, for tranquillity. The thought of saying this to my husband is terrifying. ...Every day I fade a little more.

Why is it "terrifying" to tell her husband what she is feeling? Remember, she has married someone who is not terrifying, someone she can fight with and talk back to... not someone like her father who "terrorized" her mother. Yet, she is no less terrorized!

Two of my children - who love their father by the way - agree with my assessment of him as an overbearing human 'steamroller.'

But, even with the agreement of her children, they are all in agreement, so it would seem, that this is a "burden to be borne" because of "love." Nevertheless, it is a certainty that this "spectacularly manipulative" husband of hers "senses" that he is losing his grip on her, and the manipulation takes a new turn: health. You can't abandon a sick man, for sure, or society and everyone else will punish you and reject you and you definitely won't get your emotional "fix" by being a "good girl."

Last fall my husband was diagnosed with Hodgkins' Lymphoma. He almost died. He was away in the hospital for 3 months and I was here alone. For the first time in 30+ years I felt lighthearted, as if a weight were lifted off me. I was totally happy. I knew I could never tell him so. My mind became sharp again and I actually gained weight (I had grown gaunt). Now he is back and ending his chemotherapy. And I have become deeply depressed, talk myself out of it for several days, then once more think of death - and hope my body will respond to my wish.

And here we have the greatest clue of all as to the machinations of the "feeder lines" of 4th density STS: they must be in proximity to work. With the absence of the husband, everything changed. And, of course, it was an "absence" that was not due to her actions - at least not apparent to her, though it is exactly as likely that he is suffering inside as much as she is, with less ability to articulate it. Her proximity to him stimulates the chemicals of suffering in him that makes him a good meal; and conversely, his proximity to her stimulates the release of the chemicals that make her a good meal. It's a two-way street. But, of course, this period of respite helped her to come to a realization:

I know I must leave him, though it will hurt him terribly. He has always loved me, and never understood why I am not more demonstrative. I have tried, but my heart is nowhere.

And, the problem here is the fact that, just as she is living in a Love Myth, so is he. Her myth says that he will suffer terribly if she leaves; and his myth says that he will suffer terribly if she leaves. Problem is, they are both myths. She ended her letter with:

If the C's can shed any light on this issue, or point out for me what I do not see clearly, it might save my life - if not in the physical sense, certainly in the greater sense. ... I leave it up to you.

Well, as the reader has probably already figured out, it didn't take the Cassiopaeans or even a rocket scientist to figure this one out. I did think about one woman who advised me against my own divorce by telling me: "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know." The idea was, that if I divorced, I might make the same mistake again, and be in an even worse situation. But, my response to that was that the devil I knew was well enough known that I didn't need to learn anymore about him to know that being alone was a better option.

I was, of course, hesitant to "give advice." That's always a dangerous path to tread, even if the person really seems to be asking. More often than not, they are looking for something that will bring on a "shakedown" in their lives, which they can then blame on you. Nevertheless, it seemed pretty desperate and heartfelt a plea, and I responded:

I saw your situation completely when you first wrote to me. It was very much my own with slight variations and yours has lasted longer.

What is the difference?

Everything you have said, I could have said myself in one way or another. The same descriptions of the husband, the same descriptions of the relationships... etc etc etc... What is the difference?

...I started to READ the clues. And you have the SAME clues I had. I noticed that my health improved and my mind was clear when my ex was absent. I noticed that "fortunes" improved when, and ONLY when, I was in charge of what happened. I noticed that HE was also declining in health and that was a clue that I was as "bad" for him as he was for me. And by these small, subtle clues, put alongside all the "lessons" I was being led through by C's and my life... I made a decision that went against everything that had ever been taught to me by my religion, my culture, my philosophy and so forth.

I knew that there was no way to do it "easy" and that a clean, complete break was the only answer for both of us and that can't be done in the "slow and gradual" way. I knew that he would want an explanation, and the one I saw that would make the break the cleanest and fastest was to tell him that I never cared for him, that I made a big mistake, and everybody was suffering from my mistake, including him... and it was all MY fault. And I let him lambaste me and say all the terrible things he wanted to say, and said 'yes, you are right - I'm a lousy person.' And I held my ground no matter HOW painful it was.

So, that is what is different.

I stopped living in the illusion that I could make anything better or different than it WAS.

What is more, I chose to SEE it as it WAS, coldly, clearly, without emotion.

Then, I DID something about it.

And the whole Universe changed.

That is the power of such as we are. If we only access it. It isn't easy. It flies in the face of all our human programming and all the emotional "vectoring" we live under. But the bottom line is: you cannot be "unequally yoked." If you are, the effect is that of two mules harnessed ass to ass pulling in opposite directions - spiritually, karmically, and even literally. Your life, your environment, your experiences REFLECT the state of your soul. Poverty, illness, instability, and so on... all are reflections of what is being done to you spiritually BY YOUR CHOICES. And your choices are being manipulated and influenced by early damage which was done for the very purpose of [making you food.] That's the bottom line.

But again, what I am saying is something that has to be TESTED. There is NO PROOF!

I had no proof, just the small clues - all of which I was clever enough to explain away for many years; most of which explanations had to do with the idea that I could do more, I could try this; I could cut off another arm or open my figurative veins and give more of my lifeblood to "fix it."

Well, I finally stopped making excuses. I stopped blaming myself for anything except that I had made the wrong choice and now I needed to make a different one - a LIFE changing choice based on clues that were so subtle that I couldn't even explain them to anyone at all.

Well, that isn't true. My friend Sandra ... gave me a gift. She told me that I must make a list of the clues. I must NEVER forget them. When I felt weak, when I felt like I wanted to go 'back," when I started to forget WHY I was doing what I was doing, I should take out my list and remember all the horror, all the pain, all the suffering and that I should remind myself over and over again until it sank in that all of this was the BIGGEST part of my marriage and my life. The little "happinesses" or "good times" were few and far between and never sufficient to balance the negative.

... So, I hope this helps. As the C's once told us: If you have the courage of a lion, you don't have the fate of a mouse.

This poor woman truly made my heart bleed. And, it seemed that, perhaps, my words had helped her. She wrote back:

Thank you. I don't want the fate of the mouse. There is a lion somewhere in the back of the cave, it has been sleeping for many years.

The next day she wrote again:

I woke up the lion this morning, and what you described is in full process. I don't need to give you a picture. Perhaps the difference is that we have been together 33 years, and there is a very strong bond between us. However it is like an umbilical cord that has to be cut for further growth to happen, and he cannot see it. For once I am being totally selfish, and my only pain is to see the pain he is undergoing. Thank you for giving me the impetus to go through with this.

Her description of her view of the process told me that she didn't really "get it." She was still living "in the Myth." She was already excusing the "difficulty" of the situation by the length of time together. Then, she described the connection in nurturing terms as an "umbilical cord," instead of what it was: a 4th density STS feeding tube. And, finally, she described her actions as "totally selfish" resulting in pain from seeing what "he was going through." She just simply didn't realize that both of them were experiencing "withdrawal," and that it was purely physical and based on associations in the amygdala. She didn't get it that, in the deepest of terms, what she was doing was as much FOR him as it was for herself. He was as much an addict as she was.

Well, a couple of days went by and I was inclined to think that she was not going to "make it," but I was leaving it open as a possibility. She finally wrote back:

For 36 hours I created hell for myself and everybody around me (my husband) and within telephone reach. By that time I was so exhausted I forgot the reason I wanted to leave and went to bed, as did my husband, and we both slept a long long time. We have reached a new understanding and to my surprise he respects my courage and realizes he must take me more seriously than in the past. He is now being supportive of my goals, and the constant tension and resentment between us has dissolved.

This was not a surprise. And, it should not have been a surprise to her, either. I am sure that she went through a minor version of this scenario with every fight and argument they had over the years, all ending in "agreement" to continue the addiction. And, we also see an example of what I already described: an addiction to the whole "reward system" of fighting and making up. People are programmed to suffer because it feels so good when it's over! It is almost a deliberate creation of "risk" so that the rush of dopamine can come when the danger has passed.

Now, the most interesting thing is that it was clearly not apparent to this woman that her very life and relationships had also programmed her children to the same behavior, i.e. manipulation and addiction! The "programs" kicked in BIG TIME:

The next day I called back my daughter who was sleeping off a drunk from not being able to bear the thought of her mom and dad separating. Then I called her brother who likewise had a bad hangover for the same reason, and was mighty relieved to hear I had changed my mind. Then I called my other son who was happy he didn't have to come pick me up with my considerable belongings. Then I e-mailed several friends to whom I had announced the sad news. By then I was tired again, but calm.

And here is the program:

The point is that I discovered I am part of a family network , not just a solitary item responsible only to myself. I had never looked at it that way. ... perhaps it's a combination of things: economic (I have literally no money of my own), the logistics of it all, and last but not least the fact that it tears me apart to give such pain to so many people. I seem to be divided into many selves all of which are a part of someone else. My strongest motive was perhaps the desire to find someone with whom I would feel more sexually/spiritually compatible. It is possible to achieve the former with my husband but not both together. ...Am I chickening out? ...Probably. But then is it all worth the upheaval? ...My husband now knows I am capable of what I never seriously threatened to do before, and he greatly respects my frankness. I was astonished at his reaction. I will tell you that he was my first husband/mate/whatever in my first life on this Earth, and we have been together for many many lifetimes. I also know this is the last one, for we have taught each other all the lessons each needs to receive. I think my next life will be a more harmonious one, for in this one I have lived several lifetimes.

So, we see an enormous number of rationalizations coming together here. Will any of them change the situation? Not likely. For the moment, the "control" is in the hands of my correspondent; and perhaps this is what she was really looking for: a way to manipulate the situation herself. Perhaps this was a repeating dynamic on a lesser scale throughout their lives; I don't know.

And, in the end, it reminds me of certain remarks from the movie The Matrix

The Matrix is everywhere, it is all around us; even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work; when you go to church; when you pay your taxes; it is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth: that your are a slave. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage; born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch; a prison for your mind.

...The Matrix is a system... That system is our enemy.

When you are inside [the Matrix] you look around; what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters; the very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy.

You have to understand: most of these people are not ready to be unplugged; and many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.

...We never free a mind once it's reached a certain age - it's dangerous - the mind has trouble letting go.

Now, even though the movie is an allegory that portrays the Matrix as a computer program, there are many things about this analogy that can be highly instructive. For example, when Neo is being introduced to the Matrix, he touches a chair and asks wonderingly, "This isn't real?" And Morpheus replies:

What is real? How do you define real? If you are talking about what you can feel, what you can smell and taste and see; real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain. ...[The Matrix Reality] is a neural interactive simulation ... a dreamworld created in order to change a human being into ...

And, I insert in place of the battery that Morpheus holds up: FOOD.

Let me quote it one more time: The Matrix is a neural interactive simulation...

And it is in this way that we are "programmed" to engage in damaging behavior via 4th density control systems. If our chemicals are stimulated while we are "being led down the primrose path" in any of a number of situations, the brain will "set a circuit" to repeat this behavior in order to feel the pleasure chemicals released at the end of the behavior, regardless of the painful process by which the chemicals are ultimately obtained.

Now, let's go back to synthetic ligands: drugs, to see if we can glean any more clues.

When cocaine is snorted up the nose, it heads straight for the dopamine re-uptake sites and blocks them. The "feel good sensation" is not, however, from the drug; but from the fact that dopamine is flooding your cells, binding with the dopamine receptors like crazy, unable to be reabsorbed. And the brain only knows one thing: this feels GREAT! Crack cocaine reportedly produces a more intense sensation of pleasure than any natural act, including orgasm! And, take note that it is from the body's OWN chemical that this pleasure is experienced!

Morphine and Heroin work in a slightly different way. They mimic endorphins which trigger the release of dopamine. So, instead of the sensation occurring because the natural flow of dopamine is not reabsorbed, it occurs because there is too much dopamine to be absorbed!

But, there is something very curious about this: it seems that with repeated use of cocaine, heroin or morphine, the "fake endorphin" that binds with the opiate receptor and sends a signal into the cell body to release more dopamine, the body reacts by reducing the number of receptors! With fewer receptors, the effects of the drug - as well as the body's normal ability to bind dopamine that is naturally present - plummets. And, without the normal flow of dopamine into a normal number of receptors, the brain experiences "withdrawal" which is interpreted quite literally as "pain." It is the agony of a mind that can feel no pleasure at all. Clinicians describe it as:

Abrupt discontinuation of cocaine, heroin or morphine leads to a state of dopamine depletion, which can cause the intense depression and agitation experienced during the crash phase as well as the subsequent anhedonia, dysphoria, lethargy, somnolence and apathy that can be present for six to 18 weeks after discontinuation of cocaine. [Daly and Salloway, Psychiatric Times, May 1994]

But, more serious than that is the fact that dopamine plays an important role in controlling movement, emotion and cognition. Dopamine dysfunction has been implicated in schizophrenia, mood disorders, attention-deficit disorder, Tourette's syndrome, substance dependency, tardive dyskinesia, Parkinson's disease and so on. Of course, the situation is a lot more complex because at least seven types of dopamine receptors have been identified.

The dopamine cells of the hypothalamus project to the anterior pituitary. In this area, dopamine acts directly to inhibit the release of prolactin. Prolactin possesses a myriad of effects with the most noticeable being lactation.

Now, going back to our "programs" and "body chemicals," we begin to see how it is possible that anything that causes more dopamine to be released into the system will very likely manifest the same result as cocaine, heroin and morphine: we will go back to the behavior over and over again because the imprint of the way that pleasure is to be achieved has been "set" in the mind of the child.

Now, I have not been able to find any studies that suggest that the more dopamine secretion a person experiences from the body's own chemicals in the "normal" way, that the number of receptors diminishes. However, the very fact that the "high" of cocaine is the body's own chemical might suggest that this is so. This means that each time a person succeeds in some way in attaining that "feel good" moment - no matter how it is achieved - the more will be required to experience that same level of feeling again. This may be why "love states" so rapidly diminish and turn into battles to produce threat of loss so that it can be averted and thereby produce the "rush of dopamine." That is to say: the more that is experienced, the less it CAN be experienced; so it becomes a physiological/psychological "carrot on a stick."

But, even in such situations, the point arrives when the body simply can no longer meet the demand and nothing works anymore. How soon this point is reached depends on many factors, and I am sure the reader can think of any number of situations of their acquaintance that will demonstrate the great variety of ways these scenarios can play out.

Another feel good body chemical is seretonin. The antidepressants, Prozac and Zoloft block seretonin re-uptake sites causing the brain and body to be flooded with seretonin. People are happy because seretonin is lighting up the "do-it-again" center like a Hollywood Marquee!

In the early 1980s, clinical investigators discovered a link between serotonin and eating disorders. ... Richard and Judith Wurtman (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) had already implicated serotonin in eating disturbances. They theorized that dietary starch is converted to sugar, sugar stimulates the pancreas to release insulin, insulin raises brain levels of the amino acid tryptophan, tryptophan is a precursor of serotonin, and serotonin regulates mood, producing a sense of well-being. Therefore, obese people load up on carbohydrates to elevate mood.

According to the National Institutes of Health and the Centers for Disease Control, more than 30% of Americans are 20% or more overweight, and one third of women and more than one quarter of men are trying to lose weight at any given time. They have good reason to lose weight: obesity is severely stigmatized in our society. The health hazards of being moderately overweight are exaggerated (excess mortality is not seen until body weight is more than 40% above tabulated weights on life insurance tables), but it is a definite social no-no to be fat.

Anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa are psychiatric syndromes whose underlying pathology has been described as the relentless pursuit of thinness. The two diseases are separate entities, although there is considerable overlap; about 50% of anorectics binge and purge. Both diseases occur primarily in adolescence and young adulthood, they run a long and protracted course, and they interfere with normal development (social maturation, separation from family of origin, and career decisions).

Anorexia has been described in the psychiatric literature for more than a century, but bulimia has only been recognized as a clinical entity in the last 16 years. Patients are challenging and difficult to treat. Indeed, it seems that to be effective, any treatment must ultimately produce thinness. In other words, if a bulimic could achieve thinness without having to vomit, then that patient would be "cured" of bulimia. If an anorectic could achieve thinness without having to starve, that patient could be "cured" of starvation.

The typical patient with anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa is female, young, single, and of middle-to-upper socioeconomic status and has previously shown a tendency to obesity. Depressive and obsessional symptoms are common, as are a strong family history of affective disorder. Depression is sometimes attributed to the starvation, which can produce the same psychological profile as that seen in mild to moderate major depression. However, true major depression (either before or after the emaciation) is far more prevalent in anorectic patients than in the general population. Although anorexia and bulimia are more often seen in females, both disorders also occur in males. Sharp et al. described the clinical features of 24 men with anorexia nervosa. Bingeing and vomiting were common (50%, the same as in females). Also remarkably common were depressed mood, early wakening, obsessional symptoms, and a family history of affective disorders and alcohol abuse. Age at onset (18.6 years) and at presentation (20.2 years) was older than in females. The men were mostly single and of higher socioeconomic status and had a premorbid tendency towards obesity. Laxative abuse was less frequent in males than has been reported in females, and excessive exercising was more frequent. (Sharp CW et al. Int J Eating Disorders. 1994; 15: 125-134.)

And, as it turns out, increasing the "seretonin" bath in the brain by administering a seretonin reuptake inhibitors seems to help in controlling symptoms of bulimia. Increasing the seretonin in the brain also seems to produce improvement in depression, carbohydrate craving, and pathological eating habits. The only problem with this is that these reuptake inhibitors have been seriously implicated in both valvular heart problems and primary pulmonary hypertension.

Prozac is a seretonin reuptake inhibitor that produces many side effects which include: nausea, headache, nervousness, insomnia, drowsiness, diarrhea, weight loss, dizziness, and anxiety. It also causes a side effect that we need to think about for a moment after learning what we have about the reduction of dopamine receptors with repeated use of drugs. You see, one of the side effects of Prozac is an inability to have an orgasm.

The street drug "Ecstasy," is the common name for MethyleneDioxyMethAmphetamine, or MDMA. Ecstasy is a central nervous system stimulant and it is thought to work by boosting the levels of seretonin and dopamine.

Immediate effects of ecstasy can include increased feelings of self confidence, well-being, and feeling close to others; a rise in blood pressure, body temperature and pulse rate; jaw clenching; teeth grinding; sweating; dehydration; nausea and anxiety. Higher doses of ecstasy can produce hallucinations, irrational behavior, vomiting and convulsions.

Now, since we already know that using such drugs reduces our dopamine and possibly our seretonin receptors, it's not surprising that Ecstasy also produces "tolerance."

Ecstasy is known as 'the love drug' and commonly makes users feel warm and loving, even towards people they may not know well. Ecstasy can also heighten sexual desire and intensify the sexual experience, as well as decreasing inhibition. Lab results with animals have suggested possibilities of long-term brain damage arising from the reduction of seretonin and dopamine receptors and the ultimate failure of the brain to produce seretonin at all!

So, in a roundabout way, we have come around to the fact that it is very possible that our addictions to our own chemicals may, ultimately lead to permanent inability to feel any pleasure at all. And we all know that, as we age, our ability to be "amused" by simple things diminishes.

I am torn between being shocked and amused by the spate of recent commercials for "sexual stimulants" that promise to "revive the love nature." I think the funniest one is promoting a product called "Top Gun." But the problem it suggests is not very funny. It seems that in our sexually permissive society, where for the past 20 or 30 years everyone has been encouraged to "claim their natural right" in terms of more orgasms, better orgasms, extended, multiple and repeaters, and so on may be at the root of the present problem with achieving any orgasm at all for so many people.

The bottom line seems to be: if it feels good, you will want to do it again and again and more and better. And, if you do, you will be less and less able to do it at all; and in the end the imbalances will lead to more pain and suffering and feelings of inadequacy. And we know what all that is: Lunch!

Now, nicotine is a most interesting drug. Nicotine mimics one of the body's most significant neurotransmitter, acetylcholine. This is the neurotransmitter most often associated with cognition in the cerebral cortex. Acetylcholine is the primary carrier of thought and memory in the brain. It is essential to have appropriate levels of acetylcholine to have new memories or recall old memories.

Now, let's go off to the side here for a moment. I cruised the net for sources on acetylcholine and the results were positively amazing as you will see from the following excerpts:

Acetyl-L-Carnitine (ALC) is the acetyl ester of carnitine, the carrier of fatty acids across Mitochondrial membranes. Like carnitine, ALC is naturally produced in the body and found in small amounts in some foods. ...Research in recent years has hoisted ALC from its somewhat mundane role in energy production to nutritional cognitive enhancer and neuroprotective agent extraordinaire. Indeed, taken in its entirety, ALC has become one of the premiere “anti-aging” compounds under scientific investigation, especially in relation to brain and nervous system deterioration.

ALC is found in various concentrations in the brain, and its levels are significantly reduced with aging.(1) In numerous studies in animal models, ALC administration has been shown to have the remarkable ability of improving not only cognitive changes, but also morphological (structural) and neurochemical changes. ...ALC has varied effects on cholinergic activity, including promoting the release(2) and synthesis(3) of acetylcholine. Additionally, ALC promotes high affinity uptake of choline, which declines significantly with age.(4) While these cholinergic effects were first described almost a quarter of a century ago,(5) it now appears that this is only the tip of the ALC iceberg. [Gissen, VRP's Nutritional News, March, 1995]

It turns out that Alzheimer's, a veritable epidemic in our country, is directly related to low levels of acetylcholine. In Alzheimer's disease, the neurons that make acetylcholine degenerate, resulting in memory deficits. In some Alzheimer's patients it can be a 90 per cent reduction! But, does anyone suggest smoking and exercising the brain as a possible cure?

Nope.

Another interesting little snippet found in a doctoral dissertation by Galen Knight says:

Thyrotropin is the single most important modulator of thyroid function. However, several of its effects are mimicked by neurotransmitters, acetylcholine and catecholamines...

Which suggests to us that low thyroid function can be partly ameliorated by nicotine as the Cassiopaeans have already stated in so many words!

The next excerpt is the most interesting. It is a from a Bioelectromagnetics Research Laboratory,paper first presented at a workshop to discuss possible biological and health effects of Radio Frequency Electromagnetic waves. The workshop was held by the Department of Bioengineering at the University of Washington, Seattle. The paper was later presented to "Mobile Phones and Health, Symposium," October 25-28, 1998, University of Vienna, Austria. What they are talking about here is the effects of cell phone towers and the use of cell phones and pagers, etc:

...We carried out a series of experiments to investigate the effect of RFR exposure on neurotransmitters in the brain of the rat. The main neurotransmitter we investigated was acetylcholine, a ubiquitous chemical in the brain involved in numerous physiological and behavioral functions.

We found that exposure to RFR for 45 min decreased the activity of acetylcholine in various regions of the brain of the rat, particularly in the frontal cortex and hippocampus. Further study showed that the response depends on the duration of exposure. Shorter exposure time (20 min) actually increased, rather than decreasing the activity. Different brain areas have different sensitivities to RFR with respect to cholinergic responses [Lai et al., 1987b, 1988b, 1989a,b].

In addition, repeated exposure can lead to some rather long lasting changes in the system: the number of acetylcholine receptors increase or decrease after repeated exposure to RFR to 45 min and 20 min sessions, respectively [Lai et al., 1989a].

Changes in acetylcholine receptors are generally considered to be a compensatory response to repeated disturbance of acetylcholine activity in the brain. Such changes alter the response characteristic of the nervous system. Other studies have shown that endogenous opioids are also involved in the effect of RFR on acetylcholine [Lai et al., 1986b, 1991, 1992b, 1996].

Since acetylcholine in the frontal cortex and hippocampus is involved in learning and memory functions, we carried out experiments to study whether exposure to RFR affects these behavioral functions in the rat. Two types of memory functions: spatial 'working' and 'reference' memories were investigated.

Acetylcholine in the brain, especially in the hippocampus, is known to play an important role in these behavioral functions. In the first experiment, 'working' memory (short-term memory) was studied using the 'radial arm maze'. This test is very easy to understand. Just imagine you are shopping in a grocery store with a list of items to buy in your mind. After picking up the items, at the check out stand, you find that there is one chicken at the top and another one at the bottom of your shopping cart. You had forgotten that you had already picked up a chicken at the beginning of your shopping spree and picked up another one later. This is a failure in short-term memory and is actually very common in daily life and generally not considered as being pathological. A distraction or a lapse in attention can affect short-term memory.

This analogy is similar to the task in the radial-arm maze experiment. The maze consists of a circular center hub with arms radiating out like the spokes of a wheel. Rats are allowed to pick up food pellets at the end of each arm of the maze. There are 12 arms in our maze, and each rat in each testing session is allowed to make 12 arm entries. Reentering an arm is considered to be a memory deficit. The results of our experiment showed that after exposure to RFR, rats made significantly more arm re-entries than unexposed rats [Lai et al., 1994].

This is like finding two chickens, three boxes of table salt, and two bags of potatoes in your shopping cart.

In another experiment, we studied the effect of RFR exposure on 'reference' memory (long-term memory) [Wang and Lai, submitted for publication]. Performance in a water maze was investigated. In this test, a rat is required to locate a submerged platform in a circular water pool. It is released into the pool, and the time taken for it to land on the platform is recorded. Rats were trained in several sessions to learn the location of the platform. The learning rate of RFR-exposed rats was slower, but, after several learning trials, they finally caught up with the control (unexposed) rats (found the platform as fast). However, the story did not end here. After the rats had learned to locate the platform, in a last session, the platform was removed and rats were released one at a time into the pool. We observed that unexposed rats, after being released into the pool, would swim around circling the area where the platform was once located, whereas RFR-exposed rats showed more random swimming patterns.

To understand this, let us consider another analogy. If I am going to sail from the west coast of the United States to Australia. I can learn to read a map and use instruments to locate my position, in latitude and longitude, etc. However, there is an apparently easier way: just keep sailing southwest. But, imagine, if I sailed and missed Australia. In the first case, if I had sailed using maps and instruments, I would keep on sailing in the area that I thought where Australia would be located hoping that I would see land. On the other hand, if I sailed by the strategy of keeping going southwest, and missed Australia, I would not know what to do. Very soon, I would find myself circumnavigating the globe.

Thus, it seems that unexposed rats learned to locate the platform using cues in the environment (like using a map from memory), whereas RFR-exposed rats used a different strategy (perhaps, something called 'praxis learning', i.e., learning of a certain sequence of movements in the environment to reach a certain location. It is less flexible and does not involve cholinergic systems in the brain).

Thus, RFR exposure can completely alter the behavioral strategy of an animal in finding its way in the environment.

...What is significant is that the effects persist for sometime after RFR exposure. If I am reading a book and receive a call from a mobile phone, it probably will not matter if I cannot remember what I has just read. However, the consequence would be much serious, if I am an airplane technician responsible for putting screws and nuts on airplane parts. A phone call in the middle of my work can make me forget and miss several screws. Another adverse scenario of short-term memory deficit is that a person may overdose himself on medication because he has forgotten that he has already taken the medicine.

Lastly, I like to briefly describe the experiments we carried out to investigate the effects of RFR on DNA in brain cells of the rat. We [Lai and Singh 1995, 1996; Lai et al., 1997] reported an increase in DNA single and double strand breaks, two forms of DNA damage, in brain cells of rats after exposure to RFR. DNA damages in cells could have an important implication on health because they are cumulative. Normally, DNA is capable of repairing itself efficiently. Through a homeostatic mechanism, cells maintain a delicate balance between spontaneous and induced DNA damage. DNA damage accumulates if such a balance is altered. Most cells have considerable ability to repair DNA strand breaks; for example, some cells can repair as many as 200,000 breaks in one hour. However, nerve cells have a low capability for DNA repair and DNA breaks could accumulate. Thus, the effect of RFR on DNA could conceivably be more significant on nerve cells than on other cell types of the body.

Cumulative damages in DNA may in turn affect cell functions. DNA damage that accumulates in cells over a period of time may be the cause of slow onset diseases, such as cancer. ...Cumulative damage in DNA in cells also has been shown during aging. Particularly, cumulative DNA damage in nerve cells of the brain has been associated with neurodegenerative diseases, such as Alzheimer's, Huntington's, and Parkinson's diseases.

Since nerve cells do not divide and are not likely to become cancerous, more likely consequences of DNA damage in nerve cells are changes in functions and cell death, which could either lead to or accelerate the development of neurodegenerative diseases. Double strand breaks, if not properly repaired, are known to lead to cell death. Indeed, we have observed an increase in apoptosis (a form of cell death) in cells exposed to RFR (unpublished results).

However, another type of brain cells, the glial cells, can become cancerous, resulting from DNA damage. This type of response, i.e., genotoxicity at low and medium cumulative doses and cell death at higher doses, would lead to an inverted-U response function in cancer development and may explain recent reports of increase [Repacholi et al., 1997], decrease [Adey et al., 1996], and no significant effect [Adey et al., 1997] on cancer rate of animals exposed to RFR.

Understandably, it is very difficult to define and judge what constitute low, medium, and high cumulative doses of RFR exposure, since the conditions of exposure are so variable and complex in real life situations.

Interestingly, RFR-induced increases in single and double strand DNA breaks in rat brain cells can be blocked by treating the rats with melatonin ... [Lai and Singh, 1997]. Since it is a potent free radical scavenger, this data suggest that free radicals may play a role in the genetic effect of RFR. [Lai and Singh, 1998].

Well, isn't that just fine and dandy!
What did the Cassiopaeans have to say about the use of cell phones and cell-phone towers?

Q: (L) Can you give me an approximate number of aliens currently interacting with, or on, or under our planet as a whole?
A: "Aliens?" What constitutes such?
Q: (L) Okay. Well then, non-human beings. Extra- terrestrials, Ultra-terrestrials, and so forth.
A: These bases have naturalized the inhabitants. Anomalies occur as much because of where the bases are chosen to be located as any other factor. Magnetic faults and their inherent portals, you know!
Q: (L) This [source on the Internet] thinks that there is a rather limited number of aliens, and that people ought to get together and resist this threat because our numbers are greater. Is that, in fact, correct?
A: Not point. The question of the hour is: what is the motive? Build a house step by step, and when it is finished, you can move into the neighborhood and out of the motel.
Q: (L) Oh jeez. So, these are a bunch of aliens hanging out in 'motels' waiting for their house to be built. That does not sound good.
A: Many of you have recently become "bedazzled" by the "information superhighway," and its accompanying computer hardware. Gee, we wonder why?
Q: (L) Well, you told us to network. We have been networking like crazy, digging up information, reading and comparing. Yes, there is a ton of garbage out there, but if we don't ask, how will we know?
A: Point was: who is manipulating thee? Not so much you specifically, but the others? So many kids and kids-at- heart are thunderstruck by techno-sensory toys. Those cellular phones, those pagers and the Christmas toy computers... They are like, so cool!
Q: (L) So what are you implying about these techno toys?
A: Ponder.
Q: (L) Give me a clue.
A: Fuzzy jello-brained kids.
Q: (L) Are you saying that pagers and cell phones, and techno toys that kids get for Christmas can have effects on them that turn their brains to jello?
A: In a figurative sense. All this technology represents a Brave New World. Like Huxley said: Woe is to those who have been led to eat their brains for lunch.
Q: (L) My kids have pagers. Are pagers, in particular...
A: What do you think comprises the signal content?
Q: (L) I don't know. What does comprise the signal content?
A: Microwaves.
Q: (L) What do these microwaves do to the individual?
A: Contour brain cell structure.
Q: (L) Do they emit a signal continuously, or only when they are being used?
A: Wave cycle low to high.
Q: (L) Well, that's not good. How close does the pager have to be to you to have this effect?
A: Four meters. Cell phones too and television and computer screens can be transmitted through thusly.
Q: (L) When you say 'contouring brain cell structure,' what would be evidence or results of such effects?
A: Increasingly narrow outlooks and being unable to employ discriminatory thinking.
Q: (L) Confusion?
A: No. Just lack of depth and breadth to one's mental and psychic abilities.
Q: (A) Now, about pagers... we were told that pagers emit some radiation which can be detrimental up to a distance of four meters. As far as I understand a pager is a passive device, a receiver. It is not emitting anything. How can a pager be detrimental?
A: Microwave "bounce effect."
Q: (A) So, they bounce from the receiver... I see.
A: Cell phones too.
Q: (L) Is there any kind of device that we can build or purchase that can emit a blocking signal?
A: Knowledge protects.

And it is here and now that we are learning how true that statement is in just about every sense of the word! So, let's get on with it.

Work in the Laboratory of Neurochemistry at the Barrow Neurological Institute principally concerns molecules critically involved in such signaling called nicotinic acetylcholine receptors (nAChR). nAChR act throughout the brain and body as "molecular switches" to connect nerve cell circuits involved in essential functions ranging from vision and memory to the control of heart rate and muscle movement.

Defects in nAChR or their loss cause diseases such as myasthenia gravis and epilepsy and can contribute to Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases and schizophrenia.

nAChR also happen to be the principal targets of tobacco nicotine. ...nicotine-like medicines show promise in the treatment of diseases such as attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and Tourette’s syndrome and in alleviation of anxiety, pain, and depression, suggesting involvement of nAChR in those disorders.

...We have shown that numbers and function of diverse nAChR subtypes can be influenced by many biologically active substances, ranging from steroids to local anesthetics, and by agents acting on the extracellular matrix, the cytoskeleton, on second messenger signaling, and at the nucleus. We also have shown that chronic nicotine exposure induces numerical upregulation of many diverse nAChR subtypes via a post-transcriptional process that is dominated by effects on intracellular pools of receptors or their precursors.