• EN
  • FR
  • DE
  • RU
  • TR
  • ES
  • ES

Chapter Twenty-eight: The Ark in Montana

When I think about the “Boat Ride to Damascus,” it is exactly a metaphor for my life as a born again Christian.  The moment of truth, of course, was symbolized by the trap of the anchor that nearly pulled me to a watery grave.  And moving out of that spiritual-psychological framework was exactly as problematical as the long and dangerous journey home, quartering the waves.

The year following my original work on The Noah Syndrome, and my emergence from the straitjacket of Christian Fundamentalism  I had donned, thinking it was a life-jacket, has to rank as one of the worst years of my life.  It was actually so awful that I am not even sure of the sequence of events.  But they are so important to later connections that I need to make some sense of it all.  Please bear with me.

My research led me to the idea of a global holocaust in humanity’s future.  Certain people who had such awareness were “inspired” to act in faith by “building an Ark,” and so they survived the repeating, cyclical cataclysms of the planet down through the ages.  Since I had this “awareness,” I searched for safe places and precisely what one must do in order to survive.

Larry had an old fishing buddy, Jim, who had joined the Army as a career.  His father had built a beautiful home out there in the woods, and occasionally we visited them, most often when Jim was home from Europe, where he was stationed for many years.

One day, unexpectedly, Jim came to see us.  We were surprised to see him at home since he had been on leave not too long before.  This trip was not a pleasure visit: his father had died of a sudden heart attack.  Jim was home to help his mother take care of the estate.  They were sorting through things so she could sell the house and move (apparently, she didn’t like living so far away from everything), and he knew I liked to read, so would I like this trunk full of his father’s books?


Based on the kinds of books in that trunk, Jim’s father, a retired Army Major, was apparently interested in  “government conspiracy”.  I will never forget the feeling that came over me when I read “None Dare Call it Conspiracy,” by Gary Allen.  Everything in this book just slotted into place with the teachings of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky that Man is asleep and under the control of an “Evil Magician”.

I realized that the Evil Magician was a metaphor, at least in part, for political and historical control systems.  This realization was, once again, devastating to my illusions.  As Gary Allen suggests, without any intelligent control, 50% of the time events would occur in social, cultural and political spheres leading to great benefit for all.  Factoring in intelligent decisions to do good would bring this average up to about 70% of events.  I could clearly see this wasn’t reflected in our reality.  Man hasn’t stopped killing his brother; he has just developed more efficient and mechanical means of doing it.

Why?  Who or what is influencing events to the negative?

Putting Allen’s ideas together with Gurdjieff’s, it seemed merely the result of certain “mechanical” laws of the Universe that humans refer to as “good” and “evil”.  These laws were cyclical and could be better expressed in terms of physics.  And that, of course, is the thread I followed to the idea of Cosmic Quantum Metamorphosis.

Naturally, an awareness of an impending global holocaust made me think about my relationships with others in somewhat different terms.  I decided that I needed to make amends with my mother.  I still loved her and certainly didn’t want to think of her as being “left behind”.

So, taking a copy of Noah in a box, we drove over to visit her.  It was a somewhat uncomfortable encounter, but I gave the boxed manuscript to her, asked her to read it, and said I would visit again to discuss it.

I also decided to send a copy to Eva.  She and I had kept up a correspondence by mail since my marriage to Larry, but she lived so far away now that it wasn’t easy to visit.

When I sent Noah to Eva, I wanted her to understand so we could think about plans for “building the Ark”.  Her response was less than enthusiastic.  While I’d been lost in the Fundamentalist Forest, Eva had become deeply involved in the work of Lama Sing and other New Age channeled sources.  Most believed that  “Earth Changes” were an easily avoidable problem if people just “harmonically converged” or “visualized love and light” surrounding the planet and, most of all, focused only on positive things.  Thinking about negativity created it, and even learning about it was an act of creation of evil.  So Eva had decided that not seeing anything in our reality that was unpleasant was the way to go.  She called it “creating your personal myth”.

It was easy to see this was just a variation on the Fundamentalist approach of  “Jesus Saves” and we don’t have to think.  New Age Religion taught believing in the power of Love and Light was the ticket.  In the end, the result was purported to be the same – Salvation or Ascension.

It was popularly posited “those who do not believe in demons will not experience such things.”  In thinking back over my own experiences, it was clear that something “approached” me at a time and under circumstances that obviated any consideration of free will and belief.  I was a very small child.  And I seriously doubt that any of the members of my family, professed Christians though they were, actually believed in demons either.  So I was having a bit of a problem with this idea that what you think about or what you believe creates your reality.

Contrary to popular New Age lore, the presence of evil does not require the permission or belief or thoughts of the host to exist or even to manifest in that person’s life.  What did seem to be true was that there was some sort of connection between belief and denial.  When a person undertakes to believe something, there is a whole cosmos of other things that they are, by this act of belief, denying.  Belief or non-belief seemed to have no bearing on the reality of these beings (if that is what they were).  With limited knowledge, many people are left wide open to psychic intrusion.

I was deeply concerned that Eva was being led astray by such ideas.  At the same time, Eva was convinced that I had created the suffering in my life by my endless questions about the nature of Good and Evil.  She didn’t catch the very important point that it was only when I had given up my questions and had plunged into the True Believer mode of existence that all other options seemed to have been closed off.  In later years I became able to joke that when I gave up thinking in exchange for Faith in Jesus, all Hell broke loose.  But at the time it wasn’t very funny.


I had a somewhat different view.  In thinking about the “mechanical” nature of the Universe understood by the human mind as good and evil, I still had to deal with what I perceived as the “demon problem”.  There were clearly energies, whether actually conscious or not, or only mechanically so, that seemed to be concentrated essences of the negative polarity in terms of electrodynamics (possibly).  That these essences existed at all levels was a logical extension of this idea.  Gurdjieff had pointed out quite reasonably that “two very moral men may consider each other very immoral.  The more moral a man is, the more immoral does he think other moral people.”

This led me to think about missionary efforts of the Christian church down through history which were, essentially, massacres and destruction of indigenous cultures, histories, artifacts, and everything else that was considered to be immoral by Christianity.  My side-trip in Fundamentalism had given me an inside view of Born Again Christian thinking and its revivification in the New Age Religions – which were, in fact, based on the same principles.  A person who adopts a moral position that he is unequivocally right and has stopped asking questions because he has found a belief system, seems to follow this move by adopting the idea that he has to convert or fix or persuade by any number of tactics, including manipulation, other people to his view.  If they refuse to agree with him, and refuse to be manipulated by him, he then begins to destroy by twisting and distorting and demonizing them.  You can generally tell how subjective and probably erroneous a “right” position is by the zeal with which it is propagated.

In my efforts to come to some resolution about the deepest meaning of the teachings of Jesus, I had formulated some ideas about his real mission, assuming that he even existed at all.  Every thought and saying of Jesus was directed and subordinated to one thing, a difficult concept to put into words today: the realization of the Kingdom of God upon the earth.  This was Jesus’ master idea.  The term appears repeatedly in the Gospels — no less than thirty-seven times in Matthew alone, who usually calls it the Kingdom of Heaven or the Heavens, and thirty-two times in Luke.  The New Testament is, quite simply, a virtual commentary on this one single idea.

For the Jews, living under the domination of the Romans after years of domination by the Babylonians, this idea had been projected onto a hope for a Messiah who would come as a conqueror to establish the Davidic Kingdom of God by force of arms.  This materialistic view of the matter was later taken up by Christianity.  The “Kingdom of God” became some literal place, even the kingdom on Earth at the End of Time.

However, in striking contradiction to his assurances of the imminence of the Kingdom, Jesus stated quite categorically on other occasions that the Kingdom was already here.

“If it is by the Spirit of God that I drive out the devils, then be sure the Kingdom of God has already come upon you.”  Scholars point out that this statement is so alien to contemporary Jewish thought that it must be attributed to Jesus himself (or whoever the person was around whom this legend accreted) rather than to the Gospel writers or their sources.

However you look at it, the proclamation of the Kingdom of God, present and future, was the essential, overriding feature of Jesus’ preaching and instruction.  His teaching was evidently brilliant (whoever the myth was formed around), but it was not primarily as a teacher of morals that he saw himself.  The teaching of Jesus was entirely directed towards preparing people for that Kingdom and for its first fruits.  And he proclaimed that he was creating that Kingdom.

This is the premise of every one of his moral injunctions: “Set your mind upon his Kingdom and all the rest will come to you as well.”

As the scholars I admired  pointed out, so predominant was the concept of the Kingdom of God in Jesus’ thoughts that even his teachings on the abandonment of worldly hostilities was not motivated by gentleness, or compassion, or pacifism, but by his concentration on the Kingdom and the all-important task of securing admission to it.  Additionally, and this may be surprising to many, Jesus’ miracles were primarily and preeminently connected with and directed towards the fulfillment of the Kingdom.

And here we reach the crux of the matter: Jesus’ prime intention was not to cure the sick, but to demonstrate how the “securing of the kingdom” was to be accomplished!    Every healing he performed moved us closer to the consummation of the kingdom.  Every exorcism he performed moved us further into the kingdom.  In other words, it was in directly dealing with those things we often call Evil that the process of gaining entry to the Kingdom of God was effected!

The Gospels tend on occasion to distinguish between Jesus’ two main activities of exorcism and healing, regarding them as related but separate.  But these cures are directly linked and subordinated to the accompanying message of the divine Kingdom.  His instructions to his apostles were: “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out devils as you go.  Proclaim the message: The Kingdom of Heaven is upon you.”

Such signs were not only symbols of what was happening, but were effectual signs which caused what they signified!    Jesus’ cures were not only symbolic seals of his mission but actual victories in the battle that had already been joined against the forces of Evil.

“Believe my works if not my words.”

“If it is by the finger of God that I drive out the devils, then be sure the Kingdom of God has already come upon you.”

These principles had become apparent to me as a result of the “Boat Ride to Damascus”.  The statement to me, by whatever the source of this vision, was that God cannot act in our lives as long as Evil is in the way.  I was most definitely putting my whole mind and soul into striving to live a holy life, and yet I was being told that Evil existed in my life.

When I asked “what Evil?” I was enjoined to “Learn”.  That suggested to me that ignorance, itself, was evil.


And now, Eva was promoting these ideas as the cause for my own troubles – that I had thought too much about evil and darkness in my efforts to understand “why bad things happen to good people”.  She forwarded to me a “reading” by Lama Sing which was supposed to “prove this point”.  However, what Lama Sing had to say about the matter was quite in line with my own thinking:

“…The force of light is aligned with the Christ.  The force of darkness is often aligned with the destructive or demonic.

“…  The force of darkness lives on in the hearts and minds of mankind in a form or fashion in accordance to their acceptance and belief.  There are pinnacles of light here and there in the Earth which give way to this darkness and which seek it out and replace it with light.  But if there had not been the thought form or image within that entity which was not removed by some force, some action, where then might the light reside within them?”

This last remark above is actually quite startling.  In effect, Lama Sing is saying that certain souls are in the Earth who have entered into existence for the very purpose of suffering the effects of the darkness in order to learn about it, and to then “seek it out and replace it with light”.  But the most important thing that I noted was that those who are truly of darkness are those who expend their energy in destruction.  They do not seem to create anything – they only seek to destroy that which is chosen by others.

“Lama Sing: Evil is neither a living force, any more than the force of light is a living force.  It is neither an entity nor a being, any more than the force of light is an entity or being.  It is all God.  …Knowing then that this is all God, for all existence is God, then know as well that it is only the intent of minds of those whom are a part of that same force whom create the illusion of darkness, and by the use of the varying forces available to all perpetuate this illusion unto others, and thus this becomes then a continual experience which each must then use to make way for the in-flowing and in-dwelling of light.

“Q:  So then, it’s much the same as speaking of positive and negative.  Both are necessary, and they are neither bad nor good; they are…

“Lama Sing:  That is quite accurate.  …The forces of light and the forces of darkness provide a sort of psychic flow of energy.  If we remove the titles of light and dark, you would look at them totally differently, certain emotional reactions would be gone, and you would think of them in a more sterile of scientific demeanor.

“Q:  Does the devil, Satan, exist?  And if so, how did this being come about?  Will this being ultimately return to be in harmony with God?

“Lama Sing:  As a being this entity, this being, this personage or howsoever you might speak of this identity, does not exist.  There is no question of that statement here.  What does exist is the thought form which surrounds the epitome or pinnacle or some total of works of darkness or opposite polarity of the positive.  …For example, if you were to take …statements of positive guidance, you would find an entity or group of entities whom would oppose each and every positive statement, and if such entities were at the uppermost ranking of the forces of darkness, you might call these entities demonic in nature, totally destructive, and you might call the totality of them “Satan”.  And here then these entities build their thought form which exists as long as any entity contributes an energy, a force to it.  When one violates the tenets of God, they are contributing to that thought form.”

Here, Lama Sing has made a certain remark that he repeats a couple more times about the tenets of God.  This was, for me, the crux of the matter: just what were the so-called “Tenets of God?”  ”  At the beginning of his remarks he also commented that the forces of light often make use of the forces of darkness to do their work.  In other words, as the saying goes: The Devil is in the details.  Now, back to Lama Sing.
“Some speak of the Fallen Angel, and the presence of this angelic host then to emerge as the leader of the dark forces is symbolic, for cannot God reach forth with a mighty thrust and return this, His own creation, unto Himself?  Of course.  But in His wisdom, then, there is the knowledge that the progression of all souls will relate to the understanding of this nature and to the experiencing of the forces which are pervaded by this understanding there can come a most beautiful and most logical progression.”

Here Lama Sing has made a most remarkable statement that is so convoluted and veiled that one has to wonder at his cleverness in obfuscation.  In talking about the “progression” of souls, he has said that this is accomplished by understanding the nature of, and experiencing the forces of darkness.  He then gives as an example the following analogy:

“Lama Sing: One does not force a child upon a pathway and anticipate that the reaching of the goal on the pathway shall be a joyous one.  But how many are seen following a pathway freely chosen and the arrival and the discoveries, good or bad, to be joyous discoveries?  Can your Father do less?  See?”

Now, the questioner brings the matter into direct focus:

“Q:  Does putting our attention upon the forces of darkness make them stronger?

“Lama Sing: If that intent is of the darkness, of destruction yes.  If it is of the light, no; generally tends to diminish same.”

And here we have a significant clue that relates to the remarks about the necessity of experiencing the darkness in order to be driven to learn about it, which then leads to the ability to focus on it and replace it with light.  Putting our attention on the darkness with the intent of shining light on it, learning about it, exposing it to view for what it is, “generally tends to diminish same”.  But, of course, it’s not as simple as that.  Learning about something is not the same thing as acting on that knowledge.  And the acting can often be problematical.

“Q: How can we best reduce vulnerability to the forces of darkness for ourselves and others?

“Lama Sing:  Follow the tenets given by God to each and truly try to live them.  Watch the intent, the thought, the attitude.  The more so one can dwell and live in happiness, the less energy available to the forces of darkness, the forces of limitation.”

Now we have a bit of a problem.  Again, the “tenets of God” have been brought up.  Additionally, we have an injunction to “watch the intent, the thought, the attitude”.  That doesn’t seem to be too complicated, yet we realize from all that has been discussed as well as our observations of the real world, that there is some subtle difficulty here in knowing precisely how to apply this in practical terms.  Lama Sing gives us the clue in his next remark:

“Then, too, to understand that the forces of darkness are the misuse of the forces of light and that the forces of darkness can be thought of as the potential for change [in] understanding ways of thinking, ways of living.”

What greater “misuse” of the forces of light can there be than to persuade people to stop thinking, to stop analyzing, to stop learning and growing, whether it is by faith in the salvation of Jesus or by faith in the power of the personal myth that no evil exists unless you think about it?  What greater misuse of the forces of creativity, than to exert them to destroy another who has chosen a different belief system?

Indeed, it seems to be necessary to defend ourselves against such assaults to whatever extent necessary, but more importantly, our energy ought to be primarily devoted to creating, to building that which we have chosen.  In the end, it doesn’t seem to matter which system is most “right” or “wrong,” what matters is that the individual has devoted themselves to creating and expanding and growing in their chosen system, and have allowed others to do the same.

More than that, Lama Sing has said that these forces of darkness can be thought of as “potential for change” and this change is to be in “understanding ways of thinking, ways of living”.  Well, clearly that isn’t going to happen if a person is “fixated” upon a single idea of faith or “you create your own reality by what you think about,” and stubbornly refuse to observe the effects of this thinking in their lives as I was being forced to do.  How many people, even in the face of similar events and experiences refuse to let go of the idea that their faith is being tested?  All kinds of things happen in their lives that are distinctly unpleasant or even tragic and miserable, and they blithely go on thinking that they have to just work harder to either “endure” or to find the key that will “unlock” the right mantra or visualization in order to “create” the “right” reality.  Or they become convinced that they have to destroy those who do not agree with them once they have encountered someone who simply refuses to participate in their reality.  It’s the same principle working in both contexts: a refusal to examine their thinking, attitudes and intent!    Lama Sing expounds on it a bit, but if the reader has lost the point of the previous sentence, what is said next will be completely misunderstood!

“Lama Sing:  It’s not essential to command self to instantaneous perfection and then to fear each moment faltering or falling from this perfect state; but rather to think about life in general and to strive to make each aspect joyous, first within self, not to be angry with self and not to criticize self, not to quickly judge self, and to understand and be compassionate with one’s own errors and one’s own growth.  Why?  

“We do not give this that you would be centered then on self or that the ego would be builded, that self would become all-important; but because we know that each of you must have the experience of these compassionate and loving attitudes within yourselves in order that you can truly and fully give them to others.  There are those of you who can reverse this and by intensely focusing these attitudes upon others in every aspect of your life can cause them to be reflected inwardly, every aspect of your life can cause them to be reflected inwardly, and those are very beautiful entities, very lovely souls indeed.”

There is a very tricky point in the above remark: the attitudes a person focuses on others are what is reflected inwardly.  In other words, if you focus “Love and Light” on others with the belief that they need to be fixed, that they are broken in some way, that is what you will experience.  And that was my experience in Fundamentalism.  The belief that others needed to be saved, or that I needed to pray for them to get them saved, or that I needed to just love them and all else around me in order to save myself – all of this was predicated on the idea that something needed to be fixed, that there was lack in the universe, that God was under attack by the forces of darkness, so to speak.

What was it that Lama Sing said that we might focus on others?  “Compassion and loving attitudes; to think about life in general and to strive to make each aspect joyous, first within self, not to be angry with self and not to criticize self, not to quickly judge self, and to understand and be compassionate with one’s own errors and one’s own growth.”  Obviously, determining that someone else needs to be saved or needs to be surrounded with Love and Light, or even needs our prayers without being directly asked is to deny the positive/negative nature of life, to be in a critical mode, to be judgmental, and to be intolerant of errors and the rate of growth in others.  If we think we have to save others or transform them by focusing our Love and Light on them or their situations, then we are living in judgment and we are violating their free will.

The questioner addresses this issue directly:

“Q:  Some people have the idea of subduing or binding the forces of darkness.  Some say that they will be transformed to the light.  How will this come about?

“Lama Sing:  These are indeed possible and do occur ofttimes.  Being mindful that one cannot violate the laws of free will, the right of each entity to freely choose.  But where an entity imposes forcibly a will, or attempts to impose same, upon self or others, they have, curiously, asked you to retaliate, and so you have the right to respond.  Is this understandable?”

Again, Lama Sing has made a statement at the beginning of a series of remarks that contains the key to all he says afterward.  The question is about “subduing or binding the forces of darkness” in order to transform them to light.  And Lama Sing clearly relates this to a violation of free will.  He then notes that to impose their own ideas of how things should be on another, that this is literally an asking for retaliation.  Of course, the way it is phrased is definitely obscure, and we have to question the motives for this.

What it amounts to is this:  if I try to “change” someone else either by praying for their salvation, or sending love and light to surround or “bind” them, whether it is an individual or a specific situation which can be global, I have “asked” for retaliation.  By the same token, if those of darkness seek to impose their will on me, they are, according to Divine Law, asking for me to “retaliate” or, at the very least, refuse this domination.  I have the right to say no, and to say it in whatever way is necessary to achieve my freedom from domination.

“Lama Sing: …An entity violating your right of free will is initiating an action on the part of their free will, thus enabling you to function within the laws of God to respond.  Hence, you can then use all those forces available to you, which are the forces of God, …to the extent that your belief allows you to muster this force….  The result can be a binding force.  The power of prayer to surround completely that entity, that being, can sever the source of the energy flow to that entity which is of darkness.  In effect, consider that you are encapsulating that entity in light.  Very often, then, if you can sufficiently sustain same, the entity will be borne out of darkness and into the light and you will find after this that [such a result was] the motivating force behind the entity’s aggressive action towards you.”

Unfortunately, the questioner did not approach the matter with sufficient openness to allow the point to be clearly delineated that this principle works both ways!    The fact becomes apparent, when we consider the above remark, that when we attempt to “save” others because we have judged them to be in need of saving, or even if we attempt to save ourselves because we have judged ourselves to be imperfect, we literally are opening the door to, and inviting in the forces of darkness.

But what is crucially important in the above remarks is that “you can then use all those forces available to you, which are the forces of God, …to the extent that your belief allows you to muster this force…  The result can be a binding force …  you are encapsulating that entity in light.  …  if you can sufficiently sustain same…”  Now, of course, even doing this is predicated upon having been directly violated by the individual you wish to “bind”.  It seems pretty clear that to do it on behalf of another who may not have asked for such assistance, or, even if they did ask with words, are not really asking in their hearts, is to invite disaster upon yourself.  Moreover, if a human being – or even a group of human beings – seeks to act in this manner toward a very powerful being of darkness wherein there is no ability to either believe or sustain the belief, even greater disaster can ensue.  But still, we have here a very interesting clue about the nature of Universal Law.  Clearly, the pastor and the deacons who attempted to exorcise the demoniac woman I have already described, did not either have the belief or the ability to sustain that belief sufficiently to do the job.  And that brings us to the next, most important point: very powerful beings of darkness who it is best to leave alone unless you are truly equal to them – which is not likely at this level of experience.

“Lama Sing: …Understanding that all forces are generally striving to continue to exist, they cannot be destroyed, they can only be evolved.  They can be blended, they can be changed in the sense of raising or lowering their vibrations.”

Here, again, Lama Sing has made remarks with subtextual meanings that are missed by the reader who is not actively thinking.  He has said that “all forces …cannot be destroyed, they can only be …blended …changed in the sense of raising or lowering their vibrations.”

The standard New Age Believer and/or Christian Fundamentalist has been so convinced of the idea that higher vibrations can only mean good vibrations will miss this point entirely.  Lama Sing is telling us that even the Forces of Darkness cannot be destroyed, but they CAN evolve, or be intensified, lessened, or even blended.  The significance of this remark cannot be overstated.  Yet, again, it has been mostly lost in the verbiage of the channel, in the obfuscatory nature of the delivery.  Again, we ask why?  Perhaps because the questioner would not have been able to receive a clear answer!

“Lama Sing: …Great struggles, great conflicts have been won in realms unknown to you…There is the continual action and reaction between the forces of light and the forces of darkness.  There is the continual struggle to destroy and build; the continual effort to take, to remove, and to put and to build.  In these realms …it is recognized that ultimately there must be a merging and a purifying of these forces, that they can be in harmony.”

The above is an interesting remark because it can easily be understood by a less perspicacious reader to be saying that, in our realm, there must be a “merging and purifying” of the battling forces.  Yet, that is not what is being stated.  Lama Sing is saying that such occurs in “realms unknown to you”.  So we understand that, at some point, in some realm, darkness and light DO merge.  Unfortunately, many people make the mistake of thinking that this is the function of this realm.  And many channels promulgate such a teaching in more explicit terms, leading to much confusions and loss of energy in attempting to do that work which rightly belongs to other realms, other beings.  Lama Sing even points this out for us:

“Lama Sing:  But when we speak of the forces of darkness and the forces of light as they relate to the Earth, we are not referring to the pure forces as used by the angelic host, the archangels and so forth, but rather those forces used by the mind of Man, either intentionally or subliminally.  Here, at the levels of mind, at the levels of emotion, the forces of darkness do claim this as their own.  This thought form, then, is real to the extent that it exists through the will of Man and through the perpetuation of carnal desires.”

Lama Sing has now clearly told us that there is a distinct difference between realms, that the merging and purifying only occur at the levels of “angels” and “archangels”.  Further, he has stated quite boldly that the operation of the forces of darkness in opposition to the forces of light IS the natural function of the realm of Earth and mankind.  He states explicitly that the forces of darkness claim the minds and emotions of mankind as their own because the “will of Man” has chosen this.  In other words, couching his remarks in terms that won’t scare the bejeebies out of the readers, Lama Sing has said we are in a real situation here!    And the logical understanding of this leads us to the idea that, if it is the “will of Man,” in the sense of the mass mind, mass emotion, that is controlled intentionally and subliminally by the forces of darkness, then for single individuals, or even small groups of individuals, to attempt to violate this will by imposing their ideas of salvation or transforming or destroying or doing away with this darkness, they are, in effect, just asking for retaliation by the very forces they are attempting to overcome.  A real Catch 22, you might say.

“Lama Sing: …There is, indeed, a conflict, and it is one which is in many aspects similar to a conflict in the Earthly sense, for those forces of darkness do not willingly give way that which has been their claim, their kingdom.  [What darkness cannot possess, it seeks to destroy.]

“…The Earth is at a point of some considerable transition and has, just in the recent several earth years past, entered a new cycle, a new orb, and is located in terms of celestial alignments in a position of some rarity.

“…The struggles between the forces of light and darkness were foretold by those whom have gone before, and you are entering into that period of light whereupon the Earth can make itself aright again.  And those whom shall choose to dwell therein will be those whom have chosen, those called in the sense of your Holy Book, the chosen ones.  But they have done the choosing by their manner, by their work, by their intent, see?”

In other words, there are creators and destroyers.  We live in a world controlled by darkness due to some mass mind choice in the distant past.  We gave permission to the darkness to rule our minds.  And they do not willingly give away that which has been their claim, their kingdom.  The “will of Man,” in the sense of the mass mind, mass emotion, is controlled intentionally and subliminally by the forces of darkness.  The world is under the control of an Evil Magician!

In the end, after reading through Lama Sing’s remarks on the subject juxtaposed against Eva’s understanding of them and her belief in the necessity of erecting the “personal myth,” I realized that she was not getting it in significant ways.  Of course, to even think about it this way was an error on my part because I was so certain of a rapport between us that all I had to do was explain these things to her and she would come around to the “right” way of thinking!    I was so easily falling into the programmed trap!  I could see disaster in her future if she didn’t open her eyes and mind to serious and dedicated searching for the subtle subtext in all these channeled pronouncements she was buying into.

As it turned out, I was correct in my predictions about her future, though I never voiced them to her directly.  Eva subsequently developed cancer, followed by her husband developing cancer.  Hers was successfully treated by surgery.  But her husband died.  Not from the cancer, but from the weakening of his system by the treatment. And Lama Sing was correct that people have to experience the results of living in darkness in order to learn.  Nobody can teach what is not ready to be learned.  And to try to destroy or change another person’s choices or perspective or work or lessons is to align with the darkness!  What a tightrope!

Learning this language of the world, the ways in which our lives and bodies and experiences speak to us, was the training I received during these days.  We still have a few more years to go before I finally “got it,” but it was most interesting the way it happened.


A few weeks after I had given Mother the manuscript of Noah to read, she came to visit.  She wanted to know what I thought we ought to do if there was a real possibility of global catastrophe.

I wasn’t sure.  That part of the problem was still on the drawing board.  After mulling over the issue at some length, I suddenly thought of the old Ouija board in the closet.  Maybe we could get an answer that way?  It had given interesting information in the past, warning that my father was going to die of a heart attack, (which he did not long after), so maybe we could get an answer on where we ought to go to survive the coming earth changes.

During the course of the past few years I have received a lot of correspondence from people about my choice of “instruments” – the Ouija board.  I will address these issues in some depth further on; suffice it to say that, at this point in time, I had done sufficient research to feel confident that my choice of “consciousness tuning instruments” was correct.  As a rule, I didn’t trust channeled information that came directly into the mind.  Even though I had just channeled the concepts behind The Noah Syndrome,  I didn’t think of that as “channeling”.  I was just “asking myself mental questions” and “thinking my way” through them.  And it should be noted that my reaction to the ideas that came into my mind was to research them rather than just accept them as Holy Writ.  Noah was a text based on science that had been discovered by inspiration.

That’s the major difference between the mode of using the Ouija board and that of other “channels”.  The Ouija board allows for a dialectic approach that does not effectively exist in other channeling procedures.  It allows for a long period of thesis, antithesis, and finally synthesis.  And, in a real sense, this was the process of Noah.  The question was asked, the answer came, the research was done, and fuller and more valid understanding was achieved.

But I didn’t fully realize that then.  I still needed a “tool” that could be safely handled and monitored in a fully conscious state, and the only one that fit the bill was the Ouija board.

Mother and I got it out and placed it on the table between us.  It began to move in slow circles after just a minute or two, and I asked if anyone was there.  After the planchette indicated “yes,” I asked for a name.  After the name was obtained, I just launched into my questions.

First I asked if there were really going to be any major “Earth Changes” as so many prophets had suggested.  The answer was yes.  Next, I asked if my interpretation of how they were going to manifest was accurate.  The answer was “close”.  Then I asked if we should do anything to prepare.  The answer was “Move.”  I asked “where?”  The answer: “Montana.”

And that was about all we got from it.  After that word was spelled, it seemed that the connection was dropped, and no more answers were forthcoming.

Montana.  Why Montana, I wondered?  It’s cold in Montana!    It snows in Montana!  Nobody lives in Montana!    It’s like the Outback or something!    Nothing but sky and grass and maybe cows or wheat fields.

Well, maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.  Maybe Montana was destined to be a safe area and maybe, when everything was over, it would end up being more pleasant to live there than anywhere else.

Larry didn’t like the idea of Montana, though he liked the idea of moving to some remote place.  His dream had always been to move to Guyana and live in the jungle and fish.  I pointed out all the disadvantages of trying to live in a jungle in another country where you don’t even know the language, particularly with small children and their needs.  Even though he reluctantly agreed that my points were valid, I sensed that those things that kept him from living out his dream were resented:  me and the children.

Meanwhile, on the issue of moving to Montana, I approached it the same way I did everything else: research.  Just because a suggestion was made by a so-called discarnate didn’t mean that I believed it.  I sent off for maps, real estate brochures, and government publications.  At the end of this phase, I was able to report to Larry that if we finished our house, we could sell it and have enough money to buy a sizeable farm in Montana.  He could hunt and fish all he wanted, and we could garden and basically do all the things he liked – just not in the tropics or on the ocean.

He agreed that my plan was sound enough.  I felt we had a common goal: we would both work very hard to finish our building project and improve our property, so we could get top dollar for it.

Then we could “buy the Ark,” or the farm in Montana.

Continue to Chapter 29: The Dream