Any reader who goes through the Cassiopaean Transcripts with care will come to the realization that, more than anything else, the dialogues represent a personal diary of my life. They will also realize the level of trust I placed in Frank at certain points to have him present during so many very personal discussions. The reader may also realize the reticence I felt about publishing the entire transcripts, considering these factors.
Aside from the very personal element of the transcripts, as I pointed out in Chapter 41, there are many segments in there that the Cs specifically instructed us not to publish – for particular reasons. Then, there are the people who specifically did not wish for their private affairs to be aired, at least not with their names revealed. And then, of course, there were particular segments that I was not publishing out of consideration for Frank. However, having been placed in a position where full publication was necessary, we realize that it was certainly the right thing to do especially in consideration of Frank’s recent choices. Because, in point of fact, the transcripts themselves are the testimony of my life as I struggled against Frank’s losing battle with the dark forces. And now that they are published, there is no longer any possibility of protecting Frank.
The reader will notice that throughout the transcripts, against all evidence to the contrary, I continued to have faith that Frank would win the battle that the Cs had indicated was taking place in him, that he would undertake the necessary self-examination that would enable him to become free of these forces.
In addition to the fact that the majority of the over three million words of the transcripts being a personal diary of my external life, they are also a diary of my spiritual life and a record of my initiation. As the Cs said themselves, Frank was “just the one who awakened your sense of recognition.” That they were distinctly other than Frank was made clear when they noted, “We have helped you build your staircase one step at a time. Because you asked for it. And you asked for it because it was your destiny. We have put you in contact with those of rare ability in order for you to be able to communicate with us. Again, because you desired it, in order to realize your path.”
Frank’s ability was, indeed rare. At a later point in time, an individual asked if he might contact the Cs himself. Frank’s role was clarified:
Q: (BRH) Is there any way I can contact you guys directly?
A: Well, D**, only if you present yourself into the presence of these 3rd densities here. Remember, their request was hard earned, and one of them has been channeling throughout this incarnation, much to his detriment. Those neighborhood kids usually do not respond favorably to psychic awareness, now do they? Another one here has literally turned the world upside down in search of the greatest truths for all of humanity, much to her potential peril. And the third one here had to endure almost unimaginable hardships and tests of stamina in order to realize his destined path of bringing your 3rd density realm to the brink of 4th density transitional adjustment. So, the path is open to you. Wanna follow?!?
We notice immediately the curious way Frank’s ability to channel was described as being “much to his detriment” because “neighborhood kids do not respond favorably to psychic awareness.” Again we see a clue to the well-pipe analogy. Wherever he is, whoever he associates with, to a great extent, that is what Frank channels. It is undoubtedly true that he suffered the torments of the damned as a channel.
There are a number of people currently researching the elements of the Matrix and how it utilizes individual human beings as the playing pieces in the war games of the theological reality. The following account is extracted from Amazing Grace, based entirely on Frank’s own descriptions of what occurred to him as he grew up.
I spent quite a number of years in a very close interaction with Frank, engaged in thousands of hours of conversation, and interacted with his family. Frank’s father was a physician. During his childhood, they lived in Chicago. He was brought up in an upper middle class neighborhood where he never, then or since, suffered lack or deprivation of any material sort. His family environment placed great emphasis on logic, monetary value, and scientific transactional approaches to life. In his family cerebral and academic excellence was an expression of superiority; a means to an end. And the “end” was generally to live well, be rich, or even to be famous.
Frank’s mother was the child of immigrants from a Scandinavian country. She had experienced a very unhappy first marriage which produced a daughter, and after a bitter divorce, had married Frank’s father, who was quite a bit older than she was. She was artistically gifted in a conventional way.
Frank’s father was quite set in his ways at the time he married a divorcee with a young child. As a man of scientific background, Frank’s father was steeped in the child-rearing theories of his own generation rather than the more modern conceptions of nurturing the psyche. His ideas related to hardening the body and toughening the will and cultivating the mind.
Frank’s mother, with her immigrant background, supported the same concepts since they were a part of her heritage, but she had also been brought up to serve and support the will of her husband and children. She was, in this drama, the slave to her husband, as well as the slave of her children, and that is a situation which can lead to great conflicts when the natural manipulations of children go against the will of the husband.
I don’t think that Frank was ever physically abused in any serious way, though he did claim on a number of occasions that his father “knocked me across the room.” Such incidents were, I think, rare.
What Frank complained about most was the fact that his father, finally having a son, needed so desperately for his son to be strong, to be manly and to be the All American Boy. This included not just academic and moral strength, but also athletic excellence. To this end, Frank said he was subjected from a very early age to various “programs” designed to produce this paragon of American virtue. But Frank was not the least bit inclined to want to play baseball, go camping with a scout troop, or exert himself in activities demanding interaction with the world at large.
As infants and toddlers, we all feel that we are the center of the Universe, that we are omnipotent and omniscient beings. In the beginning, we perceive our parents as merely extensions of ourselves in the sense that when we are uncomfortable in any way, these shadowy figures, the landscape of our universe, act on our behalf. Thus it is that, at the earliest stages of development, the response of the universe to our needs becomes our deepest belief about life itself – a belief inculcated before verbal skills are developed, and therefore, hardly amenable to psychiatric exploration in the ordinary sense.
If, when we are hungry or cold or too warm, or lonely and in need of touching and comfort, the Universe-as-mother responds immediately with the appropriate solution, our earliest and deepest sense of existence tells us that the Universe is safe, that it is good, that it is responsive to us. This becomes the fundamental platform from which we operate throughout our lives. We have learned that the Universe is safe, that it is good to us, that we can reach out or cry out and the Universe and all within it will provide.
When a child is treated, at the very earliest stages, as an object to be molded and shaped by regimentation, a dreadful crime against the essential self, at the deepest levels of being, is committed. A child who is left hungry because it is not the scheduled feeding time will be conditioned to believe the Universe does not provide nourishment in response to his cries. A child who is not picked up and comforted when he is frightened, startled, or simply lonely and in need of being touched, is conditioned to believe that there is no point in reaching out or interacting with the Universe in any way. So it is that a child raised according to the Cartesian “man as machine” model has no sense of safety or sufficiency.
An infant subjected to abrupt and arbitrary schedules, promoted by parents who, convinced by “medical and psychiatric theories,” believe they are doing the “right thing,” end up producing intense injuries to the infant’s tender, budding self-esteem. Such injuries can be severe and irreversible.
The empathic support of our Primary Objects, the parents, is crucial at these early stages. In its absence, our sense of self-worth and self-esteem in adulthood tends to fluctuate wildly between over-valuation of ourselves by regressing to the infantile narcissistic mode, or devaluation of ourselves as the helpless child slave of a sadistic, even if well-meaning, parent.
Such a child can grow up with a heavy sense of bitter disappointment and radical disillusionment with the Universe as a whole. They are often unable to accept self-limitations, disappointments, setbacks, failures, criticism or disillusionment with grace and tolerance. Their self-esteem is inconstant and negative. There is a tendency to believe everything that happens to them is the result of outside events, or that everything is their fault, in some way. In my own case, Larry took the former approach, and I took the latter! A child may think that if they only give more or do more, or find the flaw in themselves, they will be able to “fix everything.” Such a view is growth inducing. If they cannot tolerate the stress of the feeling of being wrong, they often choose a growth-denying mode of reversion to the narcissistic phase of infancy. This was my mother’s choice, Larry’s choice, and Frank’s choice.
Since his father, aided and abetted by his mother, worshipped the external self, how Frank appeared to others became a chief concern. The constant pressure to be a certain way, that is essentially artificial, by default convinces the child that what is inside him is not acceptable. His parents believed in a peculiar mix of the child as a blank slate and the “natural child” as a dirty and ignorant animal in need of training. In short, as a soul with specific inclinations and tendencies requiring delicate handling, Frank never had a chance.
Frank’s experiences as a child were, in many respects, similar to my own. His father, supported by his mother like a Greek chorus in the background, put him down and disregarded him and his feelings. The most poignant story he told me about his childhood concerned a time when he was left, before he was two years old, with an uncaring baby-sitter while his parents went on a two week vacation. Frank’s father was certain that a child so young couldn’t possibly have any awareness of a caretaker or any capacity to feel more than basic instinctive drives and programs. It was his father’s intention to toughen and condition Frank. Unfortunately, Frank was not only cognizant of what was being done, he never forgot it.
At the same time, Frank was being tormented by more than a “Face at the Window.” He was being regularly and repeatedly “visited” by what he came to know as aliens. He believed that he was regularly taken by them, and tortured by them, and all his efforts to communicate this to his parents were ignored and disregarded. He lived under siege with no one to turn to for protection.
He was utterly terrified to be left with strangers (not a surprise). On one occasion, he discovered that his mother had left him with a children’s play group without telling him, in a moment when he’d been distracted. He cried so bitterly that the teacher forced him to stand up in the middle of the group and “tell his name.” He was naturally paralyzed and incapable of doing so. Frank remembered all the other children staring at him in his misery, laughing and pointing at him.
The next day, when he realized he had to go back again, he resisted and delayed getting dressed and ready. Finally in the car and on the way, in desperation he grabbed the door handle and told his mother that if she didn’t stop the car and turn around and take him home, he would jump out that very instant and kill himself. He was only four years old.
Frank’s mother stopped and turned around. Frank had learned the secret of controlling others to do his will. His mother’s submission was probably the first time in his short life that he felt any power in his environment at all. This became a seed later to bear bitter fruit for all of them.
I have most definitely experienced that feeling of being paralyzed and unable to act. More than once. But in thinking these things over, I realize my own good fortune in the fact that my choice in every such situation has been to take some sort of definitive action to solve the problem, and that I am basically fearless in all cases. So, somebody must have done something right when I was an infant. Whatever it was, it wasn’t done for Frank.
In the end, it seems that Frank’s efforts to deal with the “unfriendly universe” created by his parents had failed repeatedly and consistently. My own experiences had been similar, and I was learning a different way to cope. I wanted to help Frank break out of his loop also.
The contrast between the fantasy world of the omnipotent four-year-old who threatened his mother with suicide to obtain relief from external pressures, and the real world in which he was continuously frustrated, was clearly too painful to deal with. At that age, or perhaps even earlier, this dissonance may have caused him to make an unconscious decision to live in the fantasy world where he was omnipotent and omniscient. In his private world, he felt special and entitled to things for which he had not worked nor put forth the effort expected of ordinary human beings. And it was from this platform that the next interesting phenomenon developed.
As he grew older, Frank learned a curious trick. He discovered that a sort of rhythmic dancing and creation of vibratory sounds and sensations enabled him to enter and sustain this fantasy existence to an extraordinary degree. In this trance, he was the only occupant of the universe and he was entitled to all its secrets and lore. The way he did this was to perform a sort of “crane dance” while beating the ground with a stick. He once demonstrated this for me and it was, as close as I can describe it, a shamanic performance of pure instinct.
The soothing effect of retreating into this trance state was so effective that, in the same way some people become addicted to other things, Frank became addicted to being in a trance. He had discovered the ultimate means of retreating into what was, effectively, a pre-birth state of nonexistence.
It is likely that the first time he achieved this state, it was accidental. He described it as having occurred after one of the episodes where he reached out to his parents for love and acceptance and, instead, received a lecture which included a list of all his faults and failings. He went out to the back yard and picked up a stick and began to pound the ground with it. As he did so, he became fascinated by both the vibratory sensation traveling up the stick from the impact, as well as the sound itself. He then began to experiment with different rhythms, most likely in an idle way, and then found himself entranced. At that point, the trance dancing began.
Thus he learned a trick that provided comfort.
Frank began to stimulate the trance state habitually in order to derive pleasure and gratification in a world that was not very friendly to his real self. The fact that this self-gratification was so easy to produce, rapidly conditioned him to prefer it. This, of course, produced another effect: laziness. But, this was not laziness in the ordinary sense of the word. Frank became lazy in the psychological sense because he learned that fantasy land was preferable to investing efforts in reality where failure was assured. Frank became just like a rat with an electrode implanted in the pleasure center of the brain, repeatedly pushing the button that induced ecstasy in preference to real life.
And here we have an important clue as to how and why Frank also developed highly specific abilities that enabled certain results to transpire in my interactions with him.
Frank was performing this ritual stick dance so often that his parents became concerned and, at a very early age, they labeled him as “sick” and called in a psychiatrist.
This shamed his father terribly and only added to the demands being made on Frank to “toughen up” and “be a man.” Frank reacted by intensifying his “ritualistic” behavior and time spent in a trance, though he learned to hide it better.
Frank had acquired the gift of the Crane Dance. At what cost, we can only guess.
We can surmise that the crane dance was Frank’s manifestation of soul inversion, but that the total “auric death” may not have occurred until recently. And we will eventually come to the reason for it, but for now, let’s return to the more or less chronological account of my initiation and growing awareness of the reality of the Matrix Control System, with some diversions to provide background.
In retrospect, it is obvious that the Cs’ primary objective was to initiate me into literally becoming unified with myself in the future. At the time, I didn’t spend too much time thinking about the fact that by asking the questions that were compellingly interesting to me, I was activating that “destined” activity of accessing more and more of myself. But, with the clues they gave and the events that have interacted with the clues, it is clear that this was the process.
June 22, 1996
Q: (L) How come I am always the one who gets assigned the job of figuring everything out?
A: Because you have asked for the “power” to figure out the most important issues in all of reality. And, we have been assisting you in your empowerment.
Shortly after Ark had first written to me, triggered by this contact, I found myself at the center of a maelstrom of awakening psychic awareness, memory, and recognition, and the following little exchange took place:
July 27, 1996
Q: (L) Is there anything I can ask? What is going on with me? I am an emotional wreck … Is the past life connection that I perceive part of this?
A: Do you learn when we lead you by the hand? You have all the necessary tools to discover this.
Q: (L) Well, I thought you were one of those tools! That you are here to help us …
A: But not by giving the answers to “Level One” questions.
Q: (L) Just one thing I would like to know is, what is the source of this emotional energy that is practically tearing me apart? Is it coming from outside or inside me?
A: The one thing we would like to know is: how much transcribing have you been doing?
Q: (L) I have been going through the notebooks and reading, I have been sorting things … I am getting ready to start typing …
A: The “answers” are there.
Q: (L) Well, one thing I came across was a mention almost two years ago that something would happen, and one would have instant recognition but the others may doubt. For me, it was instant recognition. But, recognition, by definition, is to know someone again. So, I think maybe that you were using the term recognition because you were talking about a person and not an event, necessarily.
A: And learning helps you in immeasurable ways.
The remark the Cs made about “transcribing” was directed at the fact that, at this point in time, I was backed up in the transcribing process, and there were about 60 tapes sitting in a box waiting to be done. Because of illness and the depression I had been going though prior to, and during, the ending of my marriage, I simply had not had the energy or motivation to transcribe.
At this point, because Ark wanted to read every word of the transcripts, I was motivated to set to work getting the job done. It was a long and agonizingly painful process. I did receive some help from Jan, but she and Terry had a business to run and many of their own projects sorting and analyzing the material that had already been transcribed, so for the most part, I had to do it all myself. Frank had already declined to help in any way, giving as an excuse that he didn’t have a computer. When I suggested that he could spell me on my computer, he didn’t have time, or he was too tired.
It was during this period of getting all the later material transcribed that I discovered the clues. But in order to explain it, let me back up and gather the threads together that will bring us back to Ark in Dijon and the realizations that followed.
On October 20, 1994, as part of my rapid fire testing questions, I threw out the following:
Q: Who built the city of Baalbek?
A: Antereans and early Sumerians. We meant Atlanteans. [Who are the Antereans?] […]
Q: What technical means did they use to cut the stones and transport them?
A: Sound wave focusing.
On October 23, 1994, in response to another question, a similar answer was given … with something added:
Q: (L) Who built Stonehenge?
Q: (L) Who were the Druids?
A: Early Aryan group.
Q: (L) How did they move the stones and set them up?
A: Sound wave focusing; try it yourself; Coral Castle.
Q: (L) Who taught the Druids to use the sound waves?
A: They knew; handed down.
Q: (L) What was Stonehenge built to do or be used for?
A: Energy director.
Q: (L) What was this energy to be directed to do?
A: All things.
Q: (L) Was the energy to be directed outward or inward to the center?
Q: (L) Does this sound come from our bodies?
A: Learn. Laura will find answer through discovery.
Well, that was a pretty cryptic remark, that I would learn something about this through a discovery! And the comment about the Coral Castle intrigued us as well. Even though I live in Florida, I had never been to see this purported marvel and the only things I knew about it were what I had learned by watching a television program about it on Unsolved Mysteries, I believe.
As it turned out, I was invited to give a talk to a UFO group in Orlando the following February. I had no idea what I was going to say, how open this group was going to be, or anything about the participants at all.
On the drive over (about 100 miles from my home), accompanied by two of my children, my daughter asked me what I was going to talk about. I told her that I didn’t really know because I didn’t know if this group was really ready for what the Cassiopaeans were saying about the UFO phenomena and the alien presence on the planet. She replied: “Well, Mom, you don’t have time to break it to them gently!”
So, I didn’t. I talked for an hour and a half or longer about the phenomena preceding the Cassiopaean communications followed by a synopsis of the different players as described by them, particularly the Grays and Reptoids.
The reception was underwhelming to say the least! One lady in the audience came up afterward and offered to use her “contacts with the Pleiadians” to “heal me” of the injuries received in the automobile accident several months prior to this time. Another offered to interpret our reality according to his Kabalistic training, and so on. They gathered around me with faintly pitying looks on their faces! How could I be so deluded as to think that aliens were not the saviors of mankind?
However, there was a funny old man who came up to me with a big grin on his face, grabbed my hand and shook it vigorously and said to me with a faint accent, “Ya know, I’ve been studying this UFO business for over 40 years – I talked with Dr. Hynek and Major Keyhoe and all that – and you are the first person I have ever heard who has gotten up in public and described it as it really is! I have some material you might be interested in. You should come and see me some time!”
Well, I thought he was just an old guy with a lot of time on his hands who needed company and might be using this as an excuse to get it. I thanked him and edged away to the host of the event who was chatting with several other people who were, apparently, from out of town, and were inquiring about the various tourist attractions. The host was telling them about the many interesting sites, and then he said, “And you might want to go down and have a look at this Coral Castle, too!”
“What is that?” one of them asked, and the host proceeded to recap the Unsolved Mysteries presentation. Then he said, “You can ask Hilliard over there,” pointing at the old man who knew Dr. Hynek. “He was a close friend of the guy who built the Coral Castle.”
Well, needless to say, after hearing this, I remembered what the Cassiopaeans had said that I would “discover” something about this “sound-wave focusing” in relation to the Coral Castle and I eased back over to the old man and said, “I hear you knew the guy who built the Coral Castle?”
“Ayup! Sure did! Knew him for years! I was stationed over there in Homestead area after the war and got to know him pretty well.”
I asked, “Did he ever tell you how he did it?”
“Nope. He never would tell anybody. He would always say that he knew the secret of how the pyramids were built, but nobody ever saw him do it. I have some ideas about it, though, and I wrote a little book about him and my experiences and observations. You know, it’s a shame that the television program didn’t give the real story! All that nonsense about “Sweet Sixteen” and a “broken heart” and so on! What a lot of crap! Sure! If you come to visit, I can show you what I do know! Do ya know something? I am the only person Leedskalnin ever let come inside his home! Ayup! He was a real loner!”
And so on. I was already making plans for this visit! Just before the visit, the following clues were giving:
March 4, 1995
A: Enough said, remember, you have been learning slowly that personal issues hold minor significance. Terry’s dream was significant, however!!!!! And Frank has been sent same message as well.
Q: (L) Did you have a dream or message, Frank? (F) That’s true. I did have some funny feelings. Just the same kind of thing, that there is something that we are missing in all of our questions. (T) OK. We are missing a key topic or issue, here, that’s true.
A: 4th level STO! You have only thought of 4th level STS.
Q: (L) Ahhh! What S*** was talking about, we need to ask about the good guys.
A: They are the only ones who can help you defend yourselves against 4th level attack!!!! We give you information which is invaluable in nature, but remember we are 6th level STO, Beings of light, and on this density level there simply is no interference with free will no matter how detrimental to you!!!
Q: (T) Fourth-density STO beings can actually help in a meaningful way! We knew there was both sides, but we never asked. We have been concentrating on finding out about the Lizards. Who are these fourth-density STO beings that we need to contact? Obviously we need to talk to them because they can talk to us. Sixth-density “Us” can’t.
A: Orion Federation.
Q: (L) And who are the members of the Orion Federation? What can you tell us?
A: You have asked us to protect you, it is important for you to understand that we are beyond that!
Q: (T) We understand that you, at sixth density, can’t interfere with free will on either side. Well, you said that knowledge protects. You have been providing knowledge.
A: Indirectly. We are providing invaluable information which becomes knowledge, but you are under attack, therefore, you could maybe use some direct power from the same density as the attack is coming from.
Q: (L) OK, guys, what do we need to do here?
A: Find a “Nordic.” They are on Earth posing as humans.
Q: (T) They are fourth density.
Q: (T) I thought that fourth density couldn’t hold the frequency that long and that is why the Lizards have so much trouble. (J) They’re STS.
A: Not STO!
Q: (T) Very good, Jan hit it as they said it. The STS can’t stay, only the STO.
A: Yes. Discover, remember these are among your protectors and Laura and Frank know what level one attack is like, Terry, Jan and S** are perilously close to finding out!
Q: (L) Well, should we wear something special like a red scarf so they can find us in the crowd?
A: Not needed at all, just be open and aware!!
A few days later, I visited Hilliard. Following this visit, on March 11, 1995:
Q: (L) I want to ask about the fellow with the Coral Castle. We went over to see Hilliard, as you know. When we were talking to Hilliard, he told us about the man who built the Coral Castle, his habits and so forth. He was very ascetic and thrifty. He didn’t have many friends and there was a part of the place that was his private residence where no one was allowed to go. Except Hilliard. According to Hilliard, this fellow had, apparently, in his private quarters, three objects: a bed, a table, and a swing made of an airplane seat suspended from the ceiling by a chain, complete with seat belts. Is this …
A: You got it right because you are learning and rebundling DNA as a result of this and other activities.
Q: (L) Well, you didn’t let me finish! OK, so the things S** and I were discussing, this mystery, the understanding of how this man performed these remarkable feats of engineering and construction, is correct?
And right here, the Cassiopaeans changed the subject!
A: Hypnotize S** if you wish. What do you suppose has happened to S** in her life, and why does she have nagging thoughts about her personal reality which she chooses not to disclose?
This was a peculiar thing to say. Well, clearly we had been pushing things a little too hard, and it was very curious that the Cassiopaeans did not want to continue to discuss Hilliard and the Coral Castle and deflected the subject to S**. But, as the reader now knows, this was just shortly before the event that revealed Frank’s hidden persona, and this was connected to the interaction with S** which later brought us back to the subject of the Nordic Covenant, as the reader will soon see.
Several months later, again as a result of people I met because of the MUFON talk, a local woman called me on the phone and said that she had heard that I was interested in starting a magazine.
This was true. I was looking for a venue for the Cassiopaean material and I had mentioned it to a local bookstore owner who often hosted various speakers and seminars in her store.
The woman on the phone said that she had been publishing a small metaphysical newsletter for over two years and was ready to give it up and I was welcome to her subscription list and various accoutrements of her project if I wanted to take it over. We decided to meet to discuss it.
When we did, it was a funny trigger for a variety of things. She was Jewish and almost immediately began talking to me about her past life in Nazi Germany and how she had been experimented on by Dr. Mengele and had died as a result. There was an instant rapport between us, and she was interested in attending a session.
Right after this meeting and before her attendance at a session, I had a dream. In this dream, I was the bride and was wearing a wonderful dress with flowers in my hair and there was a limousine waiting outside to take me to my “wedding.” I didn’t know who the groom was, but there were a lot of people around me encouraging me to “get in the car” and go to “meet the bridegroom.” For some reason, I was filled with happiness and the joy of those around me was contagious, so, overcoming my hesitations, I went to the car, got in and was taken to the place of the wedding. I was aware that the date was a Saturday, and it seemed to be the 14th because something was said about Friday the 13th having been the day before.
It turned out to be a big restaurant with a wonderful feast prepared and waiting. It was all decorated with flowers and streamers everywhere and many, many people were gathered in a happy and joyful crowd who cheered me as I got out of the car.
The “bridegroom” came forward to take my hand and we walked through the crowds of people to stand in front of a priest-like person who married us. I was overcome with happiness even though I could not see the groom’s face!
As soon as we were married, the music began to play, and he took me out onto the middle of the floor where everyone had cleared a space, and we began to dance. It was like flying and we whirled and spun. It was happiness such as I had never experienced in my entire life and I awoke bathed in a sensation of ecstatic joy!
A few days later, my new Jewish friend, RC, came to a session and several strange remarks were made by the Cassiopaeans. RC wanted to ask about the feeling of rapport between us but I wanted to get in a quick question about my dream.
September 16, 1995
Q: (L) I dreamed the other night that I got married, and there was a big party, dancing, the limousine and so on … flowers, happiness. In my dream, I heard a voice saying that the wedding would be on a Saturday the 14th, following Friday the 13th, could you tell me anything about this dream?
Q: (RC) What is my relationship to Frank and Laura from any past life connections? Did we know each other in Germany?
A: Maybe. Discover.
Q: (L) Now, I was looking at the charts, just to see what kind of matches there were and it was a lot. (RC) According to astrology, that shows a past-life connection.
A: Who were you?
Q: (L) You mean me?
Q: (L) I was just German woman … (RC) I was wondering about Egypt?
A: But we are still in Germany!
Q: (L) All I know was that I committed suicide, name was Helga, I think …
A: Who was your husband?
Q: (L) I don’t know. He was Jewish. Is that what you are getting at?
A: Okay. Who were your children?
Q: (RC) They asked who were the children. Was I one of your children?
A: Discover. When we say discover, we mean for you to use your given talents to learn, not to have us lead you by the hand every step of the way. If we were to do that, we would cheat you out of an opportunity to gain knowledge, and more importantly, understanding. Thus, we would be abridging free will!
It struck me as strange for them to be directing me to think about this in this way in response to my dream of getting married. They were not answering my question, but they were trying to get something across without violating free will. Then, they said this:
A: We are receiving strong wave pattern surrounding subject we chose to cover, thus we interrupted inquiries! Moshe in Israel.
Q: (RC) Who is Moshe in Israel?
A: Moshe is IN Israel.
But we could get no more that made any sense.
The following week, with RC present, another strange series of remarks were made. I had been doing research on secret societies which included the Rosicrucians, Masons and others, and had ended up deep in a study of alchemy. The Cassiopaeans had mentioned a super-secret group once before, called the Quorum, and I was on the trail. And, we had recently been introduced to the work of David Hudson and his monoatomic gold. I was struggling to put the pieces together and find out just who was “on first.”
September 24, 1995
Q: (L) OK, square one: Is the Quorum composed of humans who have been alchemists, who are presently in possession of a substance called “the elixir of life” and which David Hudson calls monoatomic gold?
A: And much, much more! Monoatomic gold is but one minor issue here. Why get lead astray by focusing upon it solely. It would be akin to focusing on the fact that “Batman” can fly! Is that the only important thing that “Batman” does in the story? Is it?
Q: (L) Of course not! (RC) Batman fights crime!
A: What we mean is that alchemy is but one minor piece of the puzzle.
Q: (L) OK, I understand. But, understanding the alchemical connection, and its potential for extending life and opening certain abilities, makes it more feasible to think of a group that has been present steadily and consistently for many thousands of years on earth.
A: They are not the only ones!
The night of this session was very strange. After RC and her husband went home, I went to bed in a strangely excited state. I knew it was going to be difficult to get to sleep, so I began to practice meditative breathing exercises to relax myself. Suddenly, I saw a face right before me! It was as clear and real as if someone had entered the room! It is difficult to convey to anyone how truly solid and three-dimensional this face was. I did not know this face, but it was a man with light hair and glowing eyes and he looked at me so kindly and lovingly before he vanished like a popping balloon! I was so startled that I nearly lost my breath altogether, but with firm effort, I resumed my meditation and soon went to sleep.
In December of 1995, we discovered that the Gulf Breeze UFO conference was going to be held in the spring of 1996 rather than the fall. This was rather startling since, the previous February, the Cs had made a remark about going to Gulf Breeze in the spring. What was even more interesting was that this remark had come immediately following a mental question that I had asked about some thoughts I was having. I didn’t want to share those thoughts with anyone, nor did I want to ask the question aloud. However, in light of recent events, I can now tell the reader what it was after giving the background information.
As the readers of Amazing Grace know, Frank’s father committed suicide to avoid becoming a burden on his family as a consequence of declining health. Up until the time of Frank’s embezzlement debacle, he had been in extraordinarily good health for a man of his age. In fact, he didn’t look his age at all, which surprised me when I first met him because Frank had spent so many hours ranting about how terrible it had been to grow up with an “old father.” He was sure that all the neighborhood kids laughed at him behind his back because his father was not young and virile and whatever. I wasn’t terribly sympathetic to his description of how he had suffered so much because of this since I would have been happy to have such a father at any age.
Nevertheless, the old gentleman went into a sudden, precipitous decline following his arrangements to keep Frank out of jail by paying back the money that had been embezzled. Within less than six months, he went from swimming laps in his pool every day, to being unable to rise from his chair unassisted.
Frank blamed the decline on the medications his father had been given while hospitalized for an infection, and there is certainly much evidence to suggest that the American Medical system had a hand in the deterioration. I certainly agreed with Frank that a more holistic approach to the health issues might have saved his father’s life. But when we consider holistic medicine, we also have to consider the stresses that bring on illness. It certainly seems that his shame over Frank’s illegal activities contributed enormously to his vulnerability to illness which then necessitated hospitalization. The bottom line was, he was a courageous man, and he could see that his decline in health would soon lead to a drain in finances and other resources, and he chose to end his life before he became a burden on anyone else.
It was a strange event. At the exact time that Frank’s father was setting out the important papers for the convenience of his survivors to manage his affairs after he was gone, following which, he went outside and selected a spot where there would be no muss or fuss and did the deed, I was overcome with an irresistible urge to sleep. And in my sleep, Frank’s father appeared to me and we talked for a very long time. The only problem was, I couldn’t remember what was said when I woke up. I woke up to the phone ringing, and it was Frank calling to tell me what had happened.
Just a couple weeks prior to this event, Frank and I had asked a few questions about any past-life connections.
January 5, 1995
Q: (L) When was the last lifetime Frank and I were together?
Q: (L) Who was Frank in the 1700s?
A: Bavarian landowner’s son.
Q: (L) Who was I in this lifetime?
Q: (L) I was Frank’s daughter?
A: No, sister.
Q: (L) Was this the same lifetime when I was married to G**?
A: No. Spent 3 lifetimes in what is now Germany.
Q: (L) Was my mother with me in that lifetime?
Q: (L) In that lifetime as Bavarian landowner’s children, what was Frank’s name?
Q: (L) What was my name?
Q: (L) What did we do in that lifetime? Argue?
A: Were sheltered.
Q: (L) Any exceptional talents or abilities?
A: Piano and harp.
Q: (L) So, all I did was sit around and play the piano and harp all the time?
Q: (L) And read books? What did Frank do, smoke cigars and gaze out the window?
Q: (L) Must have been nice, Frank. What area of Bavaria was this?
A: Muenchen near. South of there. On Braunau.
Q: (L) Was this a very large house?
Q: (L) Sounds better all the time. Is the castle still standing?
Q: (L) Would we know that castle by name?
Q: (L) What was our last name, surname, family name?
A: Von Endersohn.
Q: (L) Did we live long and fulfilling and happy lives?
Q: (L) Did we experience tragedy?
A: Was turbulent era.
Q: (L) Well, how old was I when I died?
Q: (L) How old was Frank when he died?
Q: (L) Were we twins?
Q: (L) Who was older, me or him?
A: Year apart.
Q: (L) What did he die from?
A: Heart attack.
Q: (L) What did I die from?
Q: (L) Did we die still living in our castle?
Q: (L) Did either of us have any children?
A: No. Were sheltered from turbulence directed at wealthy.
Q: (L) How were we sheltered from this turbulence?
A: Kept isolated. Never married.
Q: (L) Well, I guess that is one way to shelter yourself from turbulence, just never go out. We just sat around, played the piano and harp and read books. That sounds like a pretty ideal existence to me. Did we ride horses too?
Q: (L) I guess we worked hard to entertain ourselves. (F) That must be why we both yearn for security, peaceful reading and so on. (L) I have always wanted to live in Europe. Would I be happy doing so?
A: Up to you.
Q: (F) Well, that is probably why you yearn to live in Europe, because you spent 3 lifetimes in that area. (L) If I used hypnosis, could I improve my piano playing? Also, would I be able to automatically play the harp?
Q: (L) Has it ever been done before?
It’s another of those very strange synchronicities that these questions were brought up just prior to an event that seemed to trigger the memories of that life. I had no idea that my view of that period as being so simple and peaceful and sheltered was about to crash and burn. The reader of the above passage would probably not see anything strange or horrifying in the simple exchange above. But having asked the question, the door was opened, and I was about to remember. It began on the day Frank’s father committed suicide.
February 22, 1995
Q: (L) OK, I am not going to ask about things I can figure out myself, but I am going to ask about something I don’t know: as you know, Frank’s dad passed away about two weeks ago. From that day to this, everything has seemed to be different in terms of dynamics and energy, and this is not just with Frank and his family, but also with myself. I am curious as to why I feel so different. I cannot put a word to how different I feel … it is definitely a feeling, an emotional sense, why is this?
A: Let us just refer to this as a steppingstone or “milestone,” if you prefer.
Q: (L) OK, it is a milestone, but why should this … I wish I could convey to you all how strange I have been feeling … (DM) Can you specify strange? (F) See, I don’t even know … (L) Is Frank’s dad earthbound?
Q: (L) Is he trying to communicate through me?
Q: (L) Why, on the day and at the time that Frank’s dad decided to make his transition, was I overwhelmed with the need to go to sleep?
Q: (L) Connection to what? (DM) You mean he was connecting with Laura?
Q: (SV) She was connecting to him?
Q: (DM) Were they mentally entangled.
A: No, you are drifting.
Q: (F) Let Laura ask the question. (L) Did he basically come to me at another level …
Q: (L) He came to me at another level. Why me and not Frank?
A: He always trusts others to be more qualified.
Q: (L) So, he was trusting me to be more qualified than Frank, to advise him in his new estate, is that it?
Q: (F) Well, that certainly fits his personality. (L) What does he want from me now?
A: Nothing specific, but open channel and see.
Q: (L) Can we address Frank’s dad directly through the board?
A: Laura can meditate on an individual basis, this is the chosen mode.
Q: (F) That is probably why you are feeling so weird is that you haven’t opened to channel on your own. (L) Yeah, and it’s driving me nuts. (DM) It’s interfering with your thinking processes. (L) Does Frank’s dad need me to help him to release into the light?
Q: (L) Well, it has definitely been a problem, but I’ll deal with it. […] OK, anything further on this matter that you can give me to ease the situation?
Q: (L) One of the things that has been been brought to my mind continuously and repeatedly since that time has been the memory of the lifetime that Frank and I explored before, where we were brother and sister in Bavaria, and I am wondering if there was some connection with Frank’s dad in that time, and is that why it is being continuously shoved in my face?
A: Why not check it out? You are good at that, when you want to be.
Q: (L) Obviously you want me to check it out through my own head, right?
Now, first of all we have the remark that this was a “steppingstone,” and that I should “open the channel” myself. This was followed by “Laura can meditate on an individual basis, this is the chosen mode.” The reader may also note that my remark about the past life that was constantly being brought to mind was a bit negative. I described it as being “shoved in my face.”
So, what exactly was going on that I didn’t want to talk about except in allusions and veiled questions?
First of all, indeed, the channel had been blown wide open in me. The only way I can describe this feeling is that it was like having a huge opening right in the solar plexus through which emotional energy poured like water exploding through a collapsed dam. And each of these emotions was connected to a memory, and as they rushed in, the memories were activated and I re-experienced every single one of them like a concentrated, fast forward review. And I remembered every single detail of this former life with Frank.
Indeed, we were children of a powerful man, though I cannot say if there is any accuracy to the name the Cs gave. And when our father died, he left me in the care of my “brother.” However, Frank, as the “brother” of that lifetime was what was called in those days “dissolute” and self-indulgent to an extreme degree. He was weak and inconstant and the only object over which he had complete control was me. And he exercised that control with fiendish depravity.
I will spare the reader the Marquis de Sade-type scenes I was witnessing in my own head, accompanied by horror and sick revulsion, and will only say that after it was all over, I had to find some way to reconcile this truly wicked and corrupt Frank with the current Frank who repeatedly expressed extreme distaste for normal human sexuality.
Frank’s rejection of this side of himself – his complete denial of any sexual nature at all – had been something of a puzzle anyway, and now I had a perfectly reasonable theory as to why this would be so. I concluded that he had felt so much remorse in the afterlife state that he resolved to come back and atone for his sins by repressing and suppressing any such inclinations. In this way, I was able to justify Frank’s views, all the while ignoring the hints that were given here and there that he engaged in vicariously prurient activities. I was able to shove under the rug the remarks he had made on numerous occasions indicating a more-than-casual acquaintance with literature sold from behind the counter, in plain brown wrappers, as well as dark smoky dives where, as he once remarked, one had to be careful where one stepped to avoid having one’s shoes stick to the floor. When I asked what that meant, he guffawed at my ignorance and refused to explain it. It was only much, much later that someone else did.
But we believe what we choose to believe. And I chose to believe that Frank was on the road to atonement, and learning, and balancing his karma. Just because I remembered how horribly I had been treated by him, didn’t mean that I had to bring it up and blame him now.
Nevertheless, these events are what bring us to the question I asked the Cs in my mind which led to such a strange answer that contained within it an amazing prediction. Before we diverted to the story of Frank’s father, the issue was the UFO conference in Gulf Breeze that was to be held rather soon. We were talking about attending and distributing our magazine, the Aurora Journal, and I was reminded of the fact that the Cassiopaeans had suggested going to a Gulf Breeze conference “in the spring” at a time when the Gulf Breeze conferences had always been held in the fall.
Now, this is one session that I believed to be corrupted. The woman, D**, was the probable cause, but there was also a strong conflict between her and Jan. There were many peculiar things about this whole session. The whole “personality” that came through in occasional surges was D**, as we were to find out later. But, also, there was some of the Cs energy coming through. I think the first clue I had was when they abbreviated the word “Cassiopaea,” which was odd … almost as though it were a clue that I was only going to make a partial connection.
The first peculiar remark was strange – as though my mind was being read. I was most definitely concerned about the recent experiences of remembering this past life and all the terrible turmoil it was causing in my thinking and emotions.
February 18, 1995
A: Forget it, Laura, it was just only one of many, many learning experiences! They all enriched us tremendously.
Q: (L) What am I supposed to forget that was the learning experience?
A: Lifetimes of “woe.”
Q: (T) Is this one of her/your lifetimes of woe?
A: They all are if we choose to view them thusly. […]
Q: (L) Well, I just want to say something …
A: Okay, Laura, ask it if you must.
Q: (J) I want to ask about …
A: Laura first, we/she is about to jump out of her/our skin.
Q: [laughter] (T) Ask away, my dear. (L) I wanted to ask, now you guys are going to be mad at me because I am going off on a very serious tangent …
A: We know, just ask it, already!!!! […]
Q: (L) As you know, I am reading this book about Holocaust victims reincarnating and remembering their experiences at this time. The question is, on one occasion you told us that the Jewish people, as a racial group, were Atlantean descendants, is that correct?
Q: (L) There is some. Can you give us that some?
Q: (L) Is there some karmic element that was fulfilled by the Holocaust?
A: Of course.
Q: (L) Could you tell us what karma was being expunged in that activity, and what group the Jews represented?
A: This is not germane, but it was Atlantean overseers “expunging” guilt from that life experience.
Q: (L) So …
A: So what?
As the reader can guess, I was not very pleased with this communication. Neither were Terry and Jan, and it showed. We tried to be “light” and have a little fun with it, but the “off” flavor and texture of the contact made it clear that something was going on, and it was only right at the end that the clue was given as to what it was. The woman, D**, was feeding Frank energy that empowered the STS-force connection to him. Based on the remarks, he was obviously able to vacuum out of me many details of what was in my thoughts and experiences of the past weeks. The information given was, indeed, “starkly accurate” in that respect. And there is clear evidence that my own foreknowledge of coming personal events was being tapped. This is also one of the few sessions in which Frank was actually active.
Q: (L) Alright, I want to ask what it was that I went through about a week ago when I felt like I was getting all kinds of stuff pumped into my system that I did not seem capable of coping with in terms of emotional control. What was going on?
A: Answered about one half hour ago as you/us measure time. […]
Q: (L) What are you talking about … the past life business?
This refers to the remark at the very beginning about “lifetimes of woe.” This had been brought up spontaneously, with no question asked, which was another bit of evidence that Frank was “vacuuming” a la STS.
Q: (L) Well, what precipitated that activity?
A: Ions charged by awareness opening in window of EM envelope, used to precipitate physical trauma in immediate surroundings. “Used to” refers to past tense.
Q: (L) OK, so in the past, this kind of opening of a window in the EM envelope …
A: You have elevated.
Q: (T) You made a connection with other life experiences, and you were able to experience them in another way. (L) Well, it had some damn strange effects, that’s all I’ve got to say about it! I wasn’t very happy about it. (T) Will she be experiencing more of this now that she’s made this elevation?
A: Yes. Each episode will be easier and easier.
Q: (L) Thank God! When do these guys get to enjoy that particular … (T) We haven’t gotten to that point yet, or we may experience it in a different way. Is that it?
A: Sort of, each has their own issues.
Q: (T) Well, we are all doing different things as we move forward. (J) We all have different issues to work through.
A: Why wish agony upon another?
Q: (L) I don’t wish agony upon another, I just want you guys to appreciate the utter agony … (T) They do appreciate … (J) And we do too … They went through it with you. You didn’t go through it alone! (T) They are you!
A: Why wish agony upon another, all have personal trials, would you/us like to share?
And here, there is the most curious “dig” about the event which clearly indicated some awareness of the nature of it and the memories that were revealed. Of course I was not going to share such revolting information about Frank!
Q: (L) In other words, be grateful that it wasn’t worse. (D) I would like to ask a question because you probably understand it and I do not. If we are sixth and we are also third, in the future, will we be another third and another sixth … (F) In our third-density perception, since our time is linear and we are looking at us in the future, talking back to us in the present, but it is all happening at once because there is no real time. And, probably, I guess this also means that one day, which is also today, we will be sixth looking down here … (D) We will be doing the same thing over and over? (F) Sort of yes and no … I don’t think we can quite grasp the whole thing … (T) The problem is …
A: You will grasp it when at 6th level!!! So, rejoice in the “here and now!”
Q: (T) Even at fourth we will understand more than we do now. They are giving us concepts that are beyond third level. They are working with us to prepare us so that when we move into fourth we will have a head start on what’s going on. They are bringing us up to where we already are because we came from fourth level to come here to do this originally, to set the frequency and hold it so that others can move to fourth level. We came from fourth density to do this. They are trying to give us enough information so that we will remember. It is kind of like Hansel and Gretel going into the forest and leaving a trail of crumbs so that they can find their way out. We came back from fourth to third to do what we’ve got to do and we’re going back to fourth but we’ve got to leave a trail for us to keep connected to where we came from … something similar to that, in any event. Is your mind exploding, D**? We, where we are now, don’t grasp all this because we are not supposed to at this level.
A: Learning. Laura just gained one more strand, that is why it was so painful, okay?
Q: (D) Say! Congratulations! (T) Yup, she gained another strand and made Reiki Master! (L) I am in a bear of a mood! (T) Mirth! You in sixth density are enjoying the hell out of you now. We are going to take a break. (F) You gained a strand of DNA?
In any event, after a break in which Terry and Jan and I consulted in the kitchen while Frank regaled D** in the living room with tales of his feats of channeling derring-do, we came back to the table, aware and alert, and the rest of the session was far more stable, even if there were a couple of quirky moments of skewing and a couple of attempts at “time-anchored predictions,” which was always a dead giveaway that STS forces were trying to horn in.
It is also at this point that I asked the question. After pondering the idea that the events of the past weeks had been related to DNA, I came to some sort of idea that I had been inspired to undertake the channeling project as a means of this very DNA activation that had resulted in this awakening, or quickening, and that ultimately, my entire life would completely change as a result, and I was asking mentally if this was true, and if so, how would it manifest?
Q: (L) Alright, I want to ask a question. This is a trick question. It involves mind-reading. Please answer the question I am thinking.
A: Your dreams are valid.
Q: (D) My dreams are valid?
Q: (T) Laura’s dreams?
Q: (T) What dream? (D) Your dreams are valid, Laura. (T) Was that your question? (L) Well, sort of. It could apply. (T) They answered your question before you asked it. (L) Yeah. I wasn’t going to ask it out loud, anyway. (T) If we could just get them to skip the questions and go to the answers, we would make a lot better time here.
Q: (L) In other words, my impressions of the ultimate outcome of this DNA switcheroo is …
Q: (T) Any other questions?
A: Go to Pensacola.
Q: (L) Who wants to go to Pensacola?
A: I do, I do. [laughter]
Q: (T) Is something going to happen in Pensacola?
A: Conference. Increasing activity in Florida panhandle, vortex. If you go to Pensacola you will see UFOs of all origins including yours truly.
Q: (T) Oh! It’s your conference! And we’ve been invited!
Q: (T) When is it that we are supposed to go. Is it that whenever we go, then will be the conference?
Q: (T) Is there something in May? In Pensacola? (J) Project Awareness is in May but that’s in Tampa. Are you talking about the conference in May that is being put on by the Pensacola group?
A: Look and see.
Q: (T) OK, in May we should go to Gulf Breeze?
Q: (T) OK, the conference in Gulf Breeze is going to be in Tampa in May.
A: Do a session and monitor the skies at the same time. Have someone posted outside with a video camera!! Let’s try to steer all these “Ufologists” in the right path. […]
Q: […] (D) You guys, I am getting very, very weak.
Q: (L) Let’s shut down for the night, I am pooped.
Now, the strange thing about this UFO conference that we were talking about was that the normal schedule was for the spring conference to be held in Tampa and the fall conference to be held in Gulf Breeze.
As it turned out, that very year the fall Gulf Breeze conference was nearly canceled because of a hurricane! That, in itself, was an extremely interesting event. We had been planning on attending this particular conference and Terry and Jan had already made the reservations. Hurricane Opal was spinning around in the Gulf and everyone was waiting to see where it would come ashore:
October 7, 1995
A: Review: what did we say about weather. Why do you suppose “Opal” occurred at time, place reference point?
Q: (L) To put a stop to the UFO conference in Gulf Breeze? Does this mean we ought to stay home?
A: Up to you, but, suggest deferment, we could tell you of titanic battle!!!!
Q: (L) So, hurricanes are a reflection of battles at higher levels? Did the good guys win?
A: Yes, but not concluded, and we fear for those drawn to locator because of sinister plans by 4th-density STS.
Q: (L) Plans such as what? More weather phenomena or something more direct?
A: Both, several options open to them, and in works; monstrous hurricane to hit during conference, or tornado strikes Embassy Suites hotel, or bomb blast levels conference center, or mass abductions and mental controls initiated in order to cause dissension and possibly violence, followed by extreme factionalization.
Q: (L) So, there is the possibility that something really positive could come from the connections made at the conference and, to prevent this possibility, the fourth-density STS are taking steps?
A: Yes, why do you suppose it has been disrupted as of now? And have you noticed that the hurricanes have been increasing in October, rather than decreasing as would normally be true?
Q: (L) Well, then, I guess we will be staying home.
A: Free will.
So, we canceled our reservations. As it turned out, the hurricane did hit Gulf Breeze almost dead on, and the conference was moved to Mobile. Clearly, there was no bomb blast or tornado so if any of the above mentioned possibilities did play out, it would seem to have been mass abductions and mental controls initiated.
As a result of this hurricane, the organizers of the conference decided to switch the schedule around so that the Gulf Breeze conference was held in the spring the following year, 1996. But, not in May. In March. So, even if the Cassiopaeans were picking up something about this specific switch, it was not a bull’s eye exactly. Another thing that has happened since that hurricane is that the organizers of the conference broke up their organization and reformed. They no longer hold UFO conferences, but rather focus on metaphysical/New Age assemblies. So, it may be that there was a mass abduction and mental controls that initiated dissension, but it would be difficult to make Ufologists any more fragmented and factional than they already were and are!
But, getting back to the UFO conference that we learned was going to be held in the spring, right after we had made the arrangements to take over RC’s magazine:
December 2, 1995
Q: (L) This year the UFO conference in Gulf Breeze is in the spring. Is this the one we are supposed to go to?
All of the strange elements came together at the UFO conference in the spring of 1996. And looking back, the answer to my silent question: “Your dreams are valid,” was directly related to this event. Not only had I had the dream about getting married immediately after meeting the woman who wanted to transfer her magazine to us, but as soon as that project was underway, I had the vision of Ark’s face. At Gulf Breeze, I had another dream, and indeed, the Cassiopaeans were there. Just not the way we expected, as we will see.
One of the main reasons we wanted to go to the Gulf Breeze conference was because of the magazine. It was hoped that it would be an organ for the Cassiopaean material since I could really think of no other affordable way to make the material available. We planned to print a thousand copies and take them to the conference with us and give them away with a subscription form attached inside.
As you might expect, the events surrounding the work on the magazine, The Aurora Journal, took on a Twilight Zone like quality. The Matrix again went into overdrive to prevent the plan from being brought to fruition.
One of the first things I wanted to do was to find a printer who would do a nice job for me at a reasonable cost since I was paying for it out of my own pocket. There was a print shop near the chiropractor I was still seeing three times a week for therapy, and I decided to stop in and find out what my options were and how much I could do myself to keep the costs low. At the same time, I had printed up a large volume of the Cassiopaean material and thought that it might be cheaper to have it copied, so I hauled it in with me.
The young lady at the counter quoted me a very reasonable price for the copying but said that she couldn’t tell me anything about doing a magazine layout because she was just there in a clerical capacity and I would have to come back. I left my material with an order for three copies, bound in a plastic spine.
Several days later I went back to pick up my copies. As the girl was getting them from the back, a woman emerged from the shop area, grinning widely, and said, “I thought that was you I heard out here!” I looked at her blankly because, frankly, I had no idea who she was! She realized that I didn’t recognize her and she said “Pam! You remember! I came to you for hypnosis!”
And then I realized who she was! She was the woman I had hypnotized back in 1993 the night the Flying Black Boomerangs were sighted over the three-county area. She had been so upset by the idea of an alien abduction lurking in her subconscious that she never came back for any further sessions. I had always wondered what had happened to her since, and it was very curious to find her in this print shop since she had told me back then that she was in real estate. It was even stranger when you consider that I had selected this print shop over any other simply because it was en route between my house and the chiropractor I was seeing every other day as a result of an accident that I was certain was a deliberate attempt on my life by hyperdimensional forces. Not only that, I was in the print shop for the very purpose of having copies made of material that related to the events in which Pam had been involved at the very beginning. Further, that I was planning on inquiring about the printing of a magazine that was an offshoot of those same events.
I was shocked. She looked like she had aged about 20 years in the almost three years since I had seen her! As it turned out, Pam had recently bought the print shop as a business venture for her kids. She invited me into the back of the shop for coffee and we brought each other up to date on what had been happening in our lives since the incident of the UFOs. That event had upset her so badly that she completely retreated into denial and the “normal life” routine. I told her how that event had done just the opposite for me – I had been catapulted into a series of learning experiences that had completely shattered my previous world, and made it seem like I was on a continual roller coaster ride. I told her, “Honey! If you had any idea of the stuff that has happened to me since you were at my house and opened the door to those damned aliens, you would not believe it!” And we both laughed.
So, we spent an hour or so catching up. Pam was fascinated by the story of how the contact with the Cassiopaeans had developed the year following her hypnosis session and wanted not only to read the material, but to attend a session. It turned out that she was very interested in mysteries, or so she claimed. It never occurred to me to wonder why she wasn’t interested in her own mystery!
I was, of course, thinking to myself how serendipitous this was for Pam to own this print shop since it just might mean that I could get my magazine printed at a really reasonable price.
As we talked, Pam began to reveal things about her past that were beyond strange. When she had come to me for hypnosis, she was working in real estate and caring for her retired and dying husband who had been a former government employee. That was basically all she had said at the time. I had never asked her if her husband worked for the post office or any other specific agency, not realizing that it might be important.
Now she was telling me that he was a physicist who had worked at various government labs, including JPL on the Mars Observer, and had spent most of his time working in an underground laboratory somewhere in Maryland or thereabouts. She was telling me so many things that I found it difficult to assimilate all of it. It was as though, in the years since the door to the idea of aliens had been opened in her mind, all sorts of associations had come together. It never occurred to me that this might be bait to attract my interest.
On top of her husband’s work, Pam, herself, had a high security clearance and had spent years working (or so she said) in certain office positions that gave her access to highly sensitive information. Finally I thought I understood why Pam may have been abducted. If her husband was a scientist and she had a security clearance, that might explain it. I shared with her that I had learned that families of government employees generally seem to be abducted more than the average person. She thought this was interesting, but still didn’t think that it applied to her specifically.
I was pretty excited by all of this. A real, potential witness to weirdness! What a find!
We discussed the magazine, finally, and she agreed that if I would come into the shop and physically help assemble it, in addition to having camera-ready copy, she would be able to give me a considerable discount. So, I left feeling like the fates were in my corner and all was going to be right. I also thought that this was a big opportunity – perhaps the one the Cassiopaeans had mentioned when they had said back in October of the previous year:
Q: (L) We need to create a forum.
A: Yes. A direction will open if you persevere.
Q: (L) So things will be brought to us and happen for us if we just persevere?
A: Soon expect big opportunity.
Q: (L) I assume that we are not to ask what it is, we are to have faith, is that correct?
A: Yes. Danger you may misinterpret opportunity.
Q: (L) Should we all be able to realize in congruence whether the opportunity is good?
A: Varying degrees.
Q: (L) If there is a danger we may misinterpret the opportunity, could you give us a couple of clues so that when it occurs we won’t miss it?
A: At least one of you will have instant recognition but others may not. Wait and see.
My first interpretation of this opportunity was the fact that RC wanted to dump her magazine. She did claim to “recognize” me as a connection from her past life, though I can’t say that I had similar recognition. A magazine was a “forum.”
The next interpretation I put on it was that Pam had “instantly” recognized me, but I hadn’t recognized her. And having an inside line to printing, especially since we were planning a journal, was definitely a “big opportunity” in terms of “creating a forum,” one would think.
Earlier, I had joined Mike Lindemann’s ISCNI forum on AOL and had been invited to chat live, online, with his group in a sort of question and answer session. I felt sure that this, also, was part of the “forum” and might be the “big opportunity.”
But, the fact that, in none of these instances had there been “instant recognition” by any of the group, with the others “doubting,” still bugged me. What other big opportunity could there be?
So, it’s funny how we anticipate things in ways that never quite fit, and yet how desperate we are to make them true.
And this is where we find me in the early months of 1996 … moving slowly and inexorably to the threshold of the unknown; my conscious mind fighting tooth and nail against the forces of my own higher self, ignorant of the Predator’s mind, ignorant of the Matrix, learning by experience and direct, painful interaction. There was the world of practical events in which this drama manifested; there was the underlying psychological drama, and there was, apparently, another reality – the theological reality – from which the energies emanated.
And learning to see this other reality and to be able to respond to it with no apparent proof seemed to be the big test.