An Exercise in Seeing
At this point in this series of volumes, I find that I must change direction again. What you are going to read from here on, was not originally part of The Wave Series as it was published on the Internet beginning in spring of 2000. What happened was that writing and publishing The Wave apparently made waves in certain circles and it seems that I was marked for destruction for daring to reveal the truth about so many esoteric subjects. But, I will come to that. First, I would like to make some general background comments.
The reader who has read this far in The Wave has surely come to the conclusion that what I am saying is “nothing is as it seems and never has been,” including the many religions and methods of ascension promoted down through the ages.
But what is lacking is a clearly defined way that might give guidance to the seeker in his quest for the keys to his own salvation in whatever terms he might define it. I have worked on presenting the Way in this series by sharing my own experiences and what I have gleaned from much study and research, but some readers are put off by material that deals with all the lies and deceptions that we face in our reality and simply want to read something uplifting. It doesn’t seem to occur to them that one cannot be “uplifted” as long as one is mired in quicksand. What seems to be true is that we live in a world of lies – ruled by lies and stealing – and that human beings lie because it is impossible for them to do otherwise. Without a Way, that is.
As a result of our own searching and questing for answers, the repeated trying and testing of sources and materials, little by little we have come to the idea of what not to do. But again, there has not been a whole lot about what to do.
The Cassiopaeans have indicated certain pathways to follow, but as always, we are more or less on our own in acquiring the knowledge and learning how to apply it – and for good reason, as the reader may know.
So it was that I began to write The Wave, little knowing that the act of writing it would bring to me my most important lessons; the lessons that would enable me to see, and to describe in detail, the most important issues facing all of humanity.
One of the main things I learned through this process is that any individual who wishes to pursue esoteric studies ought to have a clean and fully functional – and most of all healthy – psyche before he goes wandering off into unknown realms. After all, if your psychological state is such that you cannot deal effectively with your everyday life, how can you possibly trust such a psychological state not to mislead you in studies where you have fewer solid landmarks or feedback mechanisms to guide you?
And so, it strikes me that the very first order of business in any esoteric work is to get psychologically healthy. That’s basically what the Gurdjieff “self-remembering” and Mouravieff “introspection” and Castaneda “recapitulation” is all about.
Sure, it can be referred to in nebulous ways such as “the work of sorcerers” and “recapturing energy” and “crystallizing a soul” and so on, but it can also be talked about in very practical, scientific, modern terminology with definite examples and techniques for accomplishing this important work of knowing your machine, cleaning and adjusting it so that it works properly, and preparing oneself for more interesting esoteric work.
Recapitulation as formulated by Castaneda was, I think, a take-off on Gurdjieff’s self-remembering. The words self-remembering as Gurdjieff used them are, however, somewhat nebulous. Boris Mouravieff states the matter in a rather more practical way:
Homo Sapiens lives immersed in his everyday life to a point where he forgets himself and forgets where he is going; yet, without feeling it, he knows that death cuts off everything.
How can we explain that the intellectual who has made marvelous discoveries and the technocrat who has exploited them have left outside the field of their investigations the ending of our lives? How can we explain that a science which attempts everything and claims everything nevertheless remains indifferent to the enigma revealed by the question of death? How can we explain why Science, instead of uniting its efforts with its older sister Religion to resolve the problem of Being – which is also the problem of death – has in fact opposed her?
Whether a man dies in bed or aboard an interplanetary ship, the human condition has not changed in the slightest.
Happiness? But we are taught that happiness lasts only as long as the Illusion lasts … and what is this Illusion? Nobody knows. But it submerges us.
If we only knew what Illusion is, we would then know the opposite: what Truth is. This Truth would liberate us from slavery.
As a psychological phenomenon, has Illusion ever been subjected to critical analysis based on the most recent discoveries of science? It does not seem to be so, and yet one cannot say that man is lazy and does not search. He is a passionate searcher … but he misses the essential; he bypasses it in his search.
What strikes us from the very beginning is that man confuses moral progress with technical progress, so that the development of science continues in dangerous isolation.
The brilliant progress that has come from technology has changed nothing essential in the human condition, and will change nothing, because it operates only in the field of everyday events. For this reason it touches the inner life of man only superficially. Yet from very ancient times it has been known that the essential is found within man, not outside him. …
Esoteric philosophy concerns man as he is: the investigator is the object of his own studies. Starting from the constatation that man is unknown, his target is to make himself known to himself – as he is, and as he might become under certain conditions. (Mouravieff 2002, xxiii)
Gurdjieff had his methods and Boris Mouravieff, as noted, wrote about these methods in a slightly different way.
As it happens, during our research into Boris M., we discovered that he was being soundly lambasted by William Patrick Patterson in his book Talking With the Left Hand in which he accuses Mouravieff of stealing his ideas from Gurdjieff. Patterson is the author of four highly praised books on spiritual development and is a longtime student of John Pentland, the man Gurdjieff chose to lead the Gurdjieff Work in America.
Just in case the reader is not familiar with Gurdjieff, let me give a little background. Dating from his first lectures in Moscow and St. Petersburg in 1912, George Ivanovich Gurdjieff attracted the attention of occultists and many Western aristocrats. His teachings (often referred to as the “Gurdjieff Work” or “Fourth Way”) became widely known through the writings and lectures of his pupil, the famous Russian mathematician and journalist Pyotr D. Ouspensky, and were later propagated by Alfred Orage, John G. Bennett, Rodney Collins, and Dr. Maurice Nicoll.
Gurdjieff himself admitted that he was utilizing “stolen” teachings from a wide range of groups that he had encountered (including the Yezidis, the Russian Orthodox Church, and Sufi “Bektashi” and “Naqshbandi” sects in the Hindu Kush and Pamir regions) in his world travels. A deep study of Gurdjieff’s work shows that he was obviously experimenting with his own ideas on how to utilize bits and pieces from these different teachings to create a system that would enable individuals to overcome ingrained cognitive defects, become more conscious, and awaken the Higher Self’s “Objective Conscience.”
At a certain point, it seems that Gurdjieff realized that he had undertaken an impossible task since nearly all of his students “heard” only what they wanted to hear. He closed his school and concentrated on putting his ideas into allegory in his book Beelzebub’s Tales To His Grandson (1950), which also incorporated and developed additional esoteric themes into his ideas.
Many of Gurdjieff’s concepts have profoundly influenced our present culture due to the fact that some of his followers were famous and wealthy and had the means to promote them to others in the upper classes. After his death in 1949, Gurdjieff’s legacy was disseminated through many people, and much of his work has been passed on through fragmentation of the many groups into something akin to secular denominations. One of the biggest problems with what happened to Gurdjieff’s work – what seemed to be a sincere attempt to help humanity – was further obscured by the formation of what can only be called personality cults and identifications with Gurdjieff at the expense of his ideas. It seems that Gurdjieff himself saw this coming at the end of his life.
Groups that are offshoots of Gurdjieff’s teachings have been known to use all kinds of things to reprogram their members, including isolation, group think, authoritarian power structures, and other psychological methods designed to unmask or break down the personal ego. But, what seems clear is that, in the case of Gurdjieff, no one group can claim the whole cheese since he was curiously selective about what he told whom, and even those who were closest to him obviously misunderstood what he was trying to convey, as evidenced by his own statements about this factor towards the end of his life.
The fact is, Gurdjieff faced great difficulties at the point in time when he sought to experiment with waking up humanity. As noted above, it was “Mission Impossible.” However, what he and his followers did manage to do was to slash a trail through a jungle of lies and disinformation. It is not appropriate for his followers to insist that this bare trail is all there is and that there is no more. Rather, it is only logical to widen the trail, to pass through the gate revealed at the end of the trail, and discover what lies on the other side.
Mouravieff certainly had his own issues and of the two, I would rely on Gurdjieff before Mouravieff, but Mouravieff did do a service by transmitting a most ancient esoteric tradition. As long as he was writing about the tradition, he was being helpful. When he began to add his own ideas or interpretations, he exposed his ignorance and failure to understand the very material he was conveying.
Castaneda either borrowed many of these ideas and re-framed them in a Southwestern shamanic context with his own spin, or actually found traces of the same ideas there. I tend toward the former supposition based on the timing and several insightful discussions with someone who knew him personally.
Our own approach, guided by the Cs, is more strictly along the lines of Gurdjieff and Mouravieff and a bit of Castaneda with a kick. Gurdjieff and Mouravieff and Castaneda all talk about a man needing to know himself, to know his “machine,” to observe it, to engage in introspection or recapitulation or self-observation and so on and so forth. We have taken this to the next logical step and utilize the terminology of modern psychology. In our searching for validation of these ideas, we have found that there are actually studies and books written about various aspects of human psychology that service these very ancient traditions remarkably.
Gurdjieff talked about “buffers” and how they are created. It’s clear that Castaneda’s recapitulation was supposed to be a means of dealing with buffers though Castaneda’s presentation of many things was sorely lacking in clarity. He tended to mystify the whole thing. That is unfortunate. A lot of people follow after the Castaneda way because of this very mystification. It sounds so – well – esoteric and they don’t want to accept the simple fact that the first order of business is to deal with your own psychology in a very basic and practical way.
Have a look at what Gurdjieff had to say about buffers and keep in mind that he is talking about the many “programs” or thought loops that become inculcated into us from childhood due to our experiences and familial and social conditioning. These programs, or thought loops, are the same thing that Castaneda refers to as the “Predator’s mind.”
You often think in a very naive way … You already think you can do. To get rid of this conviction is more difficult than anything else for a man. You do not understand all the complexity of your organization and you do not realize that every effort, in addition to the results desired, even if it gives these, gives thousands of unexpected and often undesirable results, and the chief thing that you forget is that you are not beginning from the beginning with a nice clean, new machine. There stand behind you many years of a wrong and stupid life, of indulgence in every kind of weakness, of shutting your eyes to your own errors, of striving to avoid all unpleasant truths, of constant lying to yourselves, of self-justification, of blaming others, and so on, and so on. All this cannot help affecting the machine. The machine is dirty, in places it is rusty, and in some places artificial appliances have been formed, the necessity for which has been created by its own wrong way of working.
These artificial appliances will now interfere very much with all your good intentions.
They are called ‘buffers.’
‘Buffer’ is a term which requires special explanation. We know what buffers on railway carriages are. They are the contrivances which lessen the shock when carriages or trucks strike one another. If there were no buffers the shock of one carriage against another would be very unpleasant and dangerous. Buffers soften the results of these shocks and render them unnoticeable and imperceptible.
Exactly the same appliances are to be found within man. They are created, not by nature but by man himself, although involuntarily. The cause of their appearance is the existence in man of many contradictions; contradictions of opinions, feelings, sympathies, words, and actions. If a man throughout the whole of his life were to feel all the contradictions that are within him he could not live and act as calmly as he lives and acts now. He would have constant friction, constant unrest. We fail to see how contradictory and hostile the different I’s of our personality are to one another. If a man were to feel all these contradictions he would feel what he really is. He would feel that he is mad. It is not pleasant to anyone to feel that he is mad. Moreover, a thought such as this deprives a man of self-confidence, weakens his energy, deprives him of ‘self-respect.’ Somehow or other he must master this thought or banish it. He must either destroy contradictions or cease to see and to feel them. A man cannot destroy contradictions. But if ‘buffers’ are created in him he can cease to feel them and he will not feel the impact from the clash of contradictory views, contradictory emotions, contradictory words.
‘Buffers’ are created slowly and gradually. Very many ‘buffers’ are created artificially through ‘education.’ Others are created under the hypnotic influence of all surrounding life. A man is surrounded by people who live, speak, think, and feel by means of ‘buffers.’ Imitating them in their opinions, actions, and words, a man involuntarily creates similar ‘buffers’ in himself. ‘Buffers’ make a man’s life more easy. It is very hard to live without ‘buffers.’ But they keep man from the possibility of inner development because ‘buffers’ are made to lessen shocks and it is only shocks that can lead a man out of the state in which he lives, that is, waken him. ‘Buffers’ lull a man to sleep, give him the agreeable and peaceful sensation that all will be well, that no contradictions exist and that he can sleep in peace. ‘Buffers’ are appliances by means of which a man can always be in the right. ‘Buffers’ help a man not to feel his conscience. (Ouspensky 1977, 154–155)
We have found that dealing with the issues of narcissism and psychopathology in our world is the clearest and most direct path to dealing with programs, buffers or the Predator’s mind in man. Most human beings in the world are narcissistic and most of us are raised by narcissists. The world itself – society, culture, science, religion – is heavily influenced by psychopathic influences and these influences are one of the reasons that most potentially healthy people become narcissistic – it is a defense – a system of buffers.
And so, as we are raised in a psychopathic/narcissistic world, we also grow these buffers that separate us from our true self and that force our machine to use up vast quantities of soul energy just to keep running at all.
And so, we approach the problem in a very pragmatic and practical way. A person can do nothing until they are psychologically healthy and this means removing buffers, mentally going over the machine in a careful and thorough way, cleaning it, re-wiring it and most of all, having new experiences that help with this re-wiring process in an environment where this is possible.
Then, of course, you need to really understand how the world got to be the way it is, and that involves the study of psychopathy. Studying psychopathy is useful for another very good reason: when you finally clearly see the traits of the psychopath writ large, it helps you to identify traces of such influences in your own make-up. Psychopaths are like caricatures that help you recognize something by its most pronounced features, just like the drawing known as a caricature.
Perhaps the most destructive, and thus most important, of the relationships that must be parsed is interaction with psychological deviants in our society. In the past few years, as a result of the experiences that were triggered by the writing of The Wave (which I am about to recount), we have done much research on the subject, finding such indispensable works as Robert Hare’s Without Conscience, Martha Stout’s The Sociopath Next Door, Hervey Cleckley’s The Mask of Sanity and Andrew Lobaczewski’s Political Ponerology. As we did more research we discovered just how many people are affected by these intraspecies predators. The problem is truly epidemic, and as researchers like Robert Hare and Andrew Lobaczewski demonstrate, the effect psychopaths have on normal people of conscience inevitably leads to tragic results. A person’s moral and logical reasoning abilities are numbed and distorted. They, in essence, become what has enslaved them. It is only by rigorously analyzing these dynamics that we can protect ourselves.
One of the concepts that seems to be integral to the idea that knowledge protects is that saving energy will enable us to grow and become more aware of higher levels of consciousness. It is this growth of awareness that binds us and makes us eligible to graduate as a result of the coming Wave, or Macrocosmic Metamorphosis.
According to the Cassiopaeans, our third density world consists of what we can know within third density parameters – it is our third density awareness that binds us to it. When that awareness grows, we are able to bind with higher levels of reality. Don Juan says that all that we know as humans, and can describe with words, is a very small part of what actually exists. It is an island upon which we pass the whole of our lives.
What lies beyond?
The Cassiopaeans say that it is a hyperdimensional state of existence, partly physical and partly ethereal, with a greater balance of these elements than what we have here, where the physical dominates. This physical aspect is what don Juan says is controlled by the Predator, and that we, ourselves, as physical beings are controlled by the Predator’s mind. The process by which the Predator gives us its mind has since been scientifically described in Political Ponerology as that of ponerization – the effect on normal people of the Predator’s almost-human interface: psychopathy.
From don Juan’s perspective, what lies beyond the borders of third density is an unfathomable mystery that cannot be understood verbally, but it can be witnessed, and experienced by anyone with enough energy. By integrating the known with the unknown, an integration of the self occurs. When the individual begins the process of integration, they begin to realize that the reality of the world is merely a matter of perception. And when they begin to become aware of this, one of the results is that their perception changes.
The Cs have made it clear that we are “food” for self-serving beings at higher levels, and that they feed on our energy, for the most part, but in some cases may actually feed on our flesh. Don Juan points out that they keep us in this chicken coop by controlling our thinking. The Cs say essentially the same thing. Gurdjieff talked about it in terms of being mechanical and “food for the Moon” and the movie The Matrix presented a similar idea, stating that the basis of the Matrix is “rules.”
Our bodies are fields of energy that are constantly affected by other fields of energy – from planets, to the human beings in our lives – whether they are physically present or merely connected via psychological strands of etheric energy. All of these fields affect us, and the Cs have pointed out through the many answers to my questions about my own relationships and interactions with others, that these interconnected fields are the means by which our energy is either “eaten” or augmented, depending on the nature of the interaction.
Don Juan taught Carlos that foreign energy can distort our own energy fields for years as a result of our interactions with those we encounter during our lives. By the same token, we can have a distorting effect on the energy fields of others. Don Juan said that this distorted energy holds us back, holds us under some dark spell because it interferes with our daily living by draining our energy. What is easy to see is that he was attempting to convey the fact that these distortions can create energetic links by which the Matrix, or Predator, drains our energy continuously. These ideas are a recurring theme in literature.
“Our lives are merely strange, dark interludes in the electrical display of God the Father,” or so wrote the playwright Eugene O’Neill. In its time, Strange Interlude achieved a success no other American play had ever equaled. The published play became a national best seller – the first time a drama had attained that honor – and O’Neill received his third Pulitzer Prize for the work.
The reviewers of 1928 weren’t crazy about it, calling it naïve in its use of psychological theory in an attempt to represent the point made in the title line, delivered by the heroine of the play, Nina. But to the public, it was clear that a deep chord of resonance had been struck, and they responded to this exploration of reality with enthusiasm.
Strange Interlude appeared as a work which dealt seriously with facets of human nature not yet fully explored. It attempted to establish a kind of primer of new ways of understanding human drives and motivations. O’Neill himself, in his Memoranda on Masks wrote of using masks to “express those profound hidden conflicts of the mind which the probings of psychology continue to disclose to us.” At the same time, he spoke of masks as providing “a chance for eloquent presentation, a new form of drama projected from a fresh insight into the inner forces motivating the actions and reactions of men and women – a drama of souls.”
In the context of what I am about to disclose, a series of behind the scenes views of the dynamics of channeling and the necessary human interactions, there is an echo of the ideas of Strange Interlude which O’Neill was never quite able to sufficiently delineate. In the present series, the reader will note that a tension is suggested between that which is purely psychological and that which is mystical and abstract. The astute reader will perceive a theologically oriented drama of souls. In this sense, we come to the realization that the human masks are just the surfaces of the dramas of higher levels of being, and that the psychological layer is merely the immediate subsurface. We hope that the reader will be able to see even deeper, and discover what it is that the Cassiopaeans have tried to convey to us and through us about the nature of the Matrix reality in which we live.
In fact, the movie, The Matrix, is the next level of revelations beyond that approached by O’Neill in Strange Interlude. It is also an excellent metaphor for the drama we have lived, are living, and which others live, though often unbeknownst to themselves. It is our hope that the experiences we will be describing here, our learning to see the unseen, in terms of penetrating not only beyond the masks of the physical symbols of reality to the psychological substrate, but even deeper to the theological drama of souls, will be useful to others in terms of navigating the Matrix-like reality in which we live.
In addition to providing a map for others, what I will be disclosing to the reader is also an act of recapitulation. According to don Juan, recapitulation is an exercise to recall, review, release, and recharge energy lost in this drama of souls. It rids a person of assumptions and preconceptions. It frees locked energy and restores balance. The chief thing about recapitulation that seems to not be clearly stated by the so-called Toltec teachings is that what it really does is increase awareness by increasing knowledge, and with increased knowledge and awareness, the individual is able to employ will to choose to act differently; to cut the connections between the self and those who drain us.
Life is lessons. It’s that simple. We “pass” these lessons by learning to see the hidden dynamics of our interpersonal relationships. Once we understand these dynamics we can learn to put an end to the destructive and emotionally draining ones. If what the Cs have said about the Wave is true, then it is by learning these simple karmic understandings that one can learn the lessons of third grade. Therefore, the process of recapitulation is one of great importance. By having an understanding of our past mistakes we can apply our understanding in the present, thus protecting ourselves for the future. We can truly self-remember, as Gurdjieff says, and utilize the present for whatever aim we have set for ourselves.
Carlos Castaneda’s teachings about warriors and sorcerers seem to suggest that the only option to really become free is to cut all connections, and to isolate the self psychologically and even, in some cases, physically. He did not seem to be aware that there was another option. The Cs, on the other hand, suggest that there is another way: that of networking in a manner aligned with service-to-others.
The hidden key in the teachings of the Cs, don Juan, and Gurdjieff, is that human beings may, indeed, be what they are because of genetics, but they can change this – to some extent – by what they learn. Perhaps we ought to pause for a moment to consider how this is possible.
A sea slug is a pretty basic creature. It cannot migrate, communicate, fly, or think. It exists in a life of eating and sex. That’s about it. But, if a jet of water is blown on its gill, it withdraws the gill. If the jet of water is repeatedly blown on the gill, the withdrawal gradually ceases. The sea slug stops responding to what it now recognizes as a false alarm. It habituates. This is learning. Maybe not algebra, but learning nevertheless.
If the sea slug is given an electric shock once, before water is blown on the gill, it learns to withdraw its gill even further than usual – it is sensitized. It can also be conditioned to withdraw its gill when it receives only a gentle puff of water if that puff is paired with an electric shock, after which only the puff is present, stimulating the behavior. This is associative learning.
The thing is: the sea slug does not use its brain. The changes occur in the abdominal ganglion. Since sea slugs have pretty large and simple neuron complexes, they are easy to study, and scientists were able to determine what, exactly, occurs in the process of learning. When an electrical nerve signal reaches a synapse, it must transfer to a chemical signal, like a train passenger having to catch a ferry across a sea channel before getting back on another train. Learning seems to be a change in the properties of the synapses. Either the synapse is weakened or strengthened, and the whole operation centers around a molecule called cyclic AMP.
A series of chemical reactions occurs which leads to the activation of a protein called CREB. Animals which lack the activated form of CREB can learn, but cannot remember. This is because CREB, once activated, starts switching on genes. The genes switched on are called CRE genes and are “cyclic AMP response elements.” The human CREB gene is on chromosome 2, but a crucial component is also found on chromosome 16. It now seems that a further component is on chromosome 21.
In fruit flies the cyclic AMP system seems to be especially active in brain regions called “mushroom bodies.” They are toadstool-shaped extrusions of neurons. A fly that has no mushroom bodies in its brain is generally incapable of learning. CREB and cyclic AMP do their work in these mushroom bodies. (Now, think of the mushroom imagery of the ancients! Mycenaea – the place of the mushroom. Of course, the occultists would have us believe that they were all slurping amanita muscaria, but were they?)
Deep in the base of the brain is a structure called the hippocampus (Greek for sea horse!) and a part of the hippocampus is called Ammon’s horn, or the Ram. In the Ammon’s horn, there are a large number of pyramidal neurons which gather the input of other sensory neurons. A pyramidal neuron is difficult to fire, but if two separate inputs arrive at once, their combined effect will fire it. Once fired, it is much easier to fire, but only by one of the two inputs that originally fired it, and not by another input. Thus, for example, the sight of a pyramid and the word Egypt combined, could fire the pyramidal cell, creating an associative memory. This means that things that occur together in time can “potentiate” associative learning.
What resides in and near the hippocampus is the mechanism for creating long-term memory. The cells there transmit the newly formed long-term memory to where it will reside in the neo-cortex. People with small hippocampuses can form procedural memories – that is, they can learn to do things that require skill, like reading and writing, and diagramming sentences, teaching English and literature, performing rituals and collecting data of all kinds, and even aping scholars to a sufficient extent that the non-discriminating observer is easily fooled. If, however, there are lesions in this region of the brain, or genetic malformation, the likelihood is that such individuals have no real ability to associate so as to do anything that is truly creative or new.
This means that they cannot and do not learn from their experiences if it requires the extraction of a principle and applying it to other situations in the realms of pure thought. As Gurdjieff noted, even great literature can be written altogether mechanically.
This, of course, makes me wonder if part of the STS problem is hippocampus-related, since semantic aphasia seems to be one of the chief clues that we have noticed in dealing with such individuals, and since psychopaths are remarkably inept at learning from experiences what behaviour is self-destructive in the long-term. But, I am getting ahead of myself.
Getting back to recapitulation. It seems that, when utilized correctly, it is a process of “thinking with a hammer,” and making associations. Recapitulation can be a tool by which awareness is enhanced. According to don Juan, it consists in hashing over and reliving one’s experiences. One must attempt to remember every possible, minute detail. When this is done within a group, it becomes the essence of what Paul wrote when he said “confess your sins one to the other,” keeping in mind that Gurdjieff referred to the Fourth Way as “Esoteric Christianity.” The Cs say “network” and “air it out.” The result seems to be that recapitulation increases awareness, which then enables us to apply what we are now aware of in practical ways, and thus, we are enabled to begin the process of reclaiming our energy, and making better choices about who or what we connect to, or associate with, in terms of our interactions with people and situations that we encounter in our daily lives.
The way this may work is that, by recapitulation, we are discovering principles. We are looking at an event in the real world, considering the psychological, “real” reason, and associating it to the theological reason. This means that we are firing the pyramidal cells in the hippocampus because we are coming at the issue with numerous inputs at once. This then ships the information off to the neo-cortex where more synapses are formed, and more thinking capacity results, establishing a positive feedback loop.
According to don Juan, recapitulating an event starts with one’s mind arranging everything pertinent to what is being recapitulated. Arranging means reconstructing the event, piece by piece, starting with recollecting the physical details of the surroundings, then remembering the person with whom one shared the interaction, and then proceeding to the examination of the self and one’s own feelings. This is extremely important, and the reader will recognize echoes of Gurdjieff’s self-remembering and will also see the associative properties of creating the multiple inputs for the hippocampus.
While don Juan taught that recapitulation ought to be accompanied by deep breathing and slowly moving the head back and forth, we are dealing here with a form of recapitulation that includes a network, so we have to sort of wing it and figure out the process as we go along.
As a general rule, our reality discourages recapitulation. It teaches us to “forgive and forget” and “make nice” and think in strictly third density terms. We are beginning to realize that this is a program, and it is the main reason so many of us suffer for so many years: we are trying to “make nice” when things clearly are not nice.
And how easily we are persuaded to stop seeing, to stop thinking, to stop examining, and to most definitely not make any choices based on any such perceptions. We have already mentioned the fact that we are programmed to not do post mortems on our relationships because it is considered to be gossip. We are discouraged from talking about our ongoing interactions and the clues we see, because it is “not nice” or it is “two-faced” or whatever. In hundreds of different ways, we are programmed to not examine our interactions, and most especially our own take on things at one time as opposed to another.
Those who constantly seek to understand their experiences may find themselves accused of being inconstant in their opinions. Well, heck, nobody wants to be accused of being flaky or inconstant. In this way, a “paramoralism” is used as a weapon against us, to keep us as food.
Most importantly, the Matrix, the Predator, or the fourth density STS controllers, do not want us to govern our lives by what we see when we recapitulate. They do not want us to “spot the program” and refuse to run it. They do not want us to see the small clues that our energy is being drained, and learn that it is not only okay to disengage from association with such individuals, it is required.
It is okay to figure out that somebody is not what we thought they were. It is okay to decide that we don’t have to continue in a relationship with that person because we know from our experiences, from our recapitulation, that there is so little possibility that they will change that it is almost not worth considering. It is okay to admit we were evaluating or making choices based on limited information that has now been superseded by deeper or more accurate information. It is okay to simply come to the realization that we have been slowly manipulated into making one choice after another that we didn’t really want to make, and now we have decided that we don’t want to be manipulated anymore.
We are allowed to change our minds as often as our minds change. And if our minds are open, and in tune with the infinite possibilities of the cosmos, that can be rather frequent.
At one point during the events I am about to recount, I received an email from a correspondent. In this email, he told me some really ugly things about an individual he recently realized was a psychic vampire in his own life. He described a meeting where he and this psychic vampire were having a discussion with two other men, one of them a writer and film producer, and expert on “sacred geometry” and mysticism in general. The correspondent described how this well-known man excused himself about ten or so minutes into the discussion, and left. A few days later, he called my correspondent and told him that there was something very wrong with the psychic vampire and that he would not be willing to work with my correspondent in any way as long as interactions with the psychic vampire were a part of the deal.
My correspondent said that the only reason he disregarded this warning was because “I am a man of my word. I had made a promise.” He then ended up spending several years being manipulated, drained of energy, drained of cash, suffering losses to his reputation, and finally being stabbed in the back by the psychic vampire. In fact, we were taken in by the very same psychic vampire, as I will shortly recount.
In short, he had warning. Not just his own instincts, because he confessed that he was uneasy about this collaboration, but another person clearly and plainly told him, “I can’t associate with you as long as you associate with him.” And the guy who said this was obviously somebody who knew about energy and how it is drained, and how to spot such people and decline to interact.
And that is what we need most desperately to learn.
What was it my correspondent said? “I am a man of my word. I had made a promise.” Well, guess what? This is a paramoralistic program. In this case it plays on what we have been programmed to think is “moral” and what is not. How can you consider yourself obliged to keep your word to an individual who has obtained your word by fraud? If a person obtains a promise from you that you will give him money by claiming that he is broke, and you then find out he is a millionaire scrooge, are you going to give him your money anyway? We begin to get a niggling suspicion that this was the real reason that Jesus taught that a person ought not to swear about anything; because new information can, at any moment, change the perspective, the reality, and our lives. We ought to always be free to change our direction at any moment, the same way the pilot of a ship makes constant corrections in the heading based on the different external influences such as the wind and sea currents.
Life is like that: there is wind, there are currents, and it is somewhat chaotic. If we do not examine it, stay alert to these things, we will end up far off course and never reach our destination.
Much of this book is a recapitulation. It is the performance of an act of power. But it is not just my recapitulation; it is the recapitulation of a much larger group and soul dynamic. It is the act of opening doors to other realities because, as I proceed, as I think back and study what I remember, attempting to be as accurate as possible, why I did what I did, how I felt, how the different people acted or reacted, as I search through the transcripts to jog my memory – because the transcripts are mostly a diary of my personal life and thinking – I am finding that much of the material from Cs that never made complete sense before is now beginning to fit together in a surprising way.
I am also seeing something else: In every case where I have held back telling anything, I have done so for the very reasons cited above: I was acting according to the rules, out of courtesy, or because I was “giving the benefit of the doubt,” or “turning the other cheek,” or making nice. And, as the Cs have pointed out, expecting something to turn out differently from what it is at the moment of realizing what the program is, is wishful thinking. And wishful thinking is the essence of service-to-self.
At the time that many of the attacks I am going to disclose were going on, we did not write about them, we did not share them, we tried to keep them private for the sake of giving more chances for the others involved to do something else that would heal the breach. We were always expecting them to just wake up and see that we are not their adversary, that we do not want to interfere in their lives, that we simply and only want to have the right to our own choices, even if those choices include not associating with them in any way. We wanted them to understand that we had realized that our mutual energies were obviously not in sync, so “let’s have a parting of the ways.” At each stage of the process, we waited and hoped that this realization would arise in their minds. But it seems that such things never occur to people who are filled with their own self-importance. Such individuals become furious when their self-importance is provoked. They talk themselves into a state of righteous indignation that anyone would dare to refuse to associate with them; that anyone would dare to assert the right to their own space, be it real or virtual; that anyone would dare to make them look like a fool.
And then they go out and make themselves look like fools.
And here we come to the primary issue: When we identify the fact that our energy fields are not compatible with some other individual or that there is a drain, we have the right to choose to disassociate ourselves. We have not only the right, but if we are truly seeking higher knowledge, it is a necessity.
As we have quoted don Juan, recapitulation is an exercise to recall, review, release, and recharge energy. And so it is, what we are about to recount is a series of encounters with what don Juan called “petty tyrants.” But, before we do, I would like to present don Juan’s story of his petty tyrant from Castaneda’s book The Fire from Within. It is a delightful, hilarious account of deep and important principles of awareness and energy conservation, and I recommend the reader to read the chapter in its entirety. Every time I read it I laugh with glee to see the very situation we will be discussing here so humorously depicted, petty tyrants who attempt to annoy us to distraction. As don Juan has said, “the warrior who stumbles on a petty tyrant is a lucky one … because if you don’t, you have to go out and look for one.” The objective is, of course, that if an individual can “hold their own in facing petty tyrants, they can certainly face the unknown with impunity, and then they can even stand the presence of the unknowable.” In other words, we are enormously grateful for the petty tyrants in our lives. That we have them, and so many, indeed, gives me great hope that this very process of recapitulation, undertaken with self-restraint, will achieve the very pragmatic goal of serving others.
Castaneda’s chapter on petty tyrants (pp. 11–30) begins with don Juan telling Carlos Castaneda that they must go for a walk to “sit down and talk”. La Gorda, another of don Juan’s students, upon overhearing that don Juan wishes to speak with Carlos in private, assumes that they are going to talk about her behind her back. Don Juan replies that she is correct, and he and Carlos leave to talk.
When alone, don Juan tells Carlos that he “told her that just to provoke her enormous self-importance. And it worked. She is furious with us. If I know her, by now she will have talked to herself long enough to have built up her confidence and her righteous indignation at having been refused and made to look like a fool. I wouldn’t be surprised if she barges in on us here, at the park bench.” He elaborates, saying, “Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it – what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.”
When Carlos compares ridding oneself of self-importance to the Church’s dictums on the evil of sin, don Juan replies, “Warriors fight self-importance as a matter of strategy, not principle. Your mistake is to understand what I say in terms of morality.” He explains that what Carlos perceives in him as “morality” is really his impeccability, or his proper use of energy. By properly identifying “behavioral patterns that are not essential to our survival and well-being”, like the activity of self-importance, one can eliminate what is unnecessary and draining. “One of the first concerns of warriors is to free that energy in order to face the unknown with it.”
The process of rechanneling this energy involves six interplaying elements, five of which are called the “attributes of warriorship” – control, discipline, forbearance, timing, and will. While these apply to the inner world of the warrior, the sixth applies to the external world: the petty tyrant. “A petty tyrant is a tormentor. Someone who either holds the power of life and death over warriors or simply annoys them to distraction.” Commenting on the irreverent humor with which the “new seers” classified their petty tyrants, don Juan tells Carlos:
The new seers, in accordance with their practice, saw fit to head their classification with the primal source of energy, the one and only ruler in the universe, and they called it simply the tyrant. The rest of the despots and authoritarians were found to be, naturally, infinitely below the category of tyrant. Compared to the source of everything, the most fearsome, tyrannical men are buffoons; consequently, they were classified as petty tyrants, pinches tiranos.
He said that there were two subclasses of minor petty tyrants. The first subclass consisted of the petty tyrants who persecute and inflict misery but without actually causing anybody’s death. They were called little petty tyrants, pinches tiranitos. The second consisted of the petty tyrants who are only exasperating and bothersome to no end. They were called small-fry petty tyrants, repinches tiranitos, or teensy-weensy petty tyrants, pinches tiranitos chiquititos …
He added that the little petty tyrants are further divided into four categories. One that torments with brutality and violence. Another that does it by creating unbearable apprehension through deviousness. Another which oppresses with sadness. And the last, which torments by making warriors rage …
“My benefactor used to say that the warrior who stumbles on a petty tyrant is a lucky one. He meant that you’re fortunate if you come upon one in your path, because if you don’t, you have to go out and look for one.”
He explained that one of the greatest accomplishments of the seers of the Conquest was a construct he called the three-phase progression. By understanding the nature of man, they were able to reach the incontestable conclusion that if seers can hold their own in facing petty tyrants, they can certainly face the unknown with impunity, and then they can even stand the presence of the unknowable.
“The average man’s reaction is to think that the order of that statement should be reversed,” he went on. “A seer who can hold his own in the face of the unknown can certainly face petty tyrants. But that’s not so. What destroyed the superb seers of ancient times was that assumption. We know better now. We know that nothing can temper the spirit of a warrior as much as the challenge of dealing with impossible people in positions of power. Only under those conditions can warriors acquire the sobriety and serenity to stand the pressure of the unknowable.”
It was only after dealing with the conquering Spaniards of the Conquest that the seers of that time were capable of facing anything. Luckily, in a time without petty tyrants of that scope, a “king-size one” found don Juan. At the time, however, don Juan found it hard to consider himself fortunate.
Don Juan then tells Carlos a story of his own petty tyrant. When barely twenty years old, he was essentially sold into slavery, although he was under the impression he was getting a well-paying job on a rich family’s land. A self-described “lowly ignorant Indian” with no immediate relatives, the foreman of the ranch on which he was to work thought him the perfect employee! Don Juan knew soon after arriving at the ranch that he had to escape, but was threatened with a gun at his first attempt to flee. He worked three weeks doing strenuous labor, with the ever-present boss bullying him under the constant threat of a number of weapons.
Upon realizing that the foreman was in cahoots with the man at the sugar mill, where don Juan had previously worked, to sell Indians into slave-labor, don Juan went on a rampage through the kitchen and out the front door. But the foreman was too fast, shooting don Juan in the chest and leaving him for dead. Luckily don Juan’s benefactor found him and nursed him back to health. As don Juan told Castaneda, “When I told my benefactor the whole story he could hardly contain his excitement. ‘That foreman is really a prize,’ my benefactor said. ‘He is too good to be wasted. Someday you must go back to that house.’ He raved about my luck in finding a one-in-a-million petty tyrant with almost unlimited power. I thought the old man was nuts. It was years before I fully understood what he was talking about.” Don Juan then tells Carlos that he did go back to the house, three years later. His benefactor “developed a strategy using the four attributes of warriorship: control, discipline, forbearance, and timing.”
Don Juan said that his benefactor, in explaining to him what he had to do to profit from facing that ogre of a man, also told him what the new seers considered to be the four steps on the path of knowledge. The first step is the decision to become apprentices. After the apprentices change their views about themselves and the world they take the second step and become warriors, which is to say, beings capable of the utmost discipline and control over themselves. The third step, after acquiring forbearance and timing, is to become men of knowledge. When men of knowledge learn to see they have taken the fourth step and have become seers.
Teaching Carlos the importance of petty tyrants, don Juan told him that “the idea of using a petty tyrant is not only for perfecting the warrior’s spirit, but also for enjoyment and happiness.” In fact, don Juan’s boss was nothing compared to the tyrants of the Conquest.
Don Juan explained that the mistake average men make in confronting petty tyrants is not to have a strategy to fall back on; the fatal flaw is that average men take themselves too seriously; their actions and feelings, as well as those of the petty tyrants, are all-important. Warriors, on the other hand, not only have a well-thought-out strategy, but are free from self-importance. What restrains their self-importance is that they have understood that reality is an interpretation we make. That knowledge was the definitive advantage that the new seers had over the simple-minded Spaniards.
After building up his strength, don Juan managed to get the same job unrecognized by his former employers.
The same routine took place. The strategy, however, called for refusing payment to the foreman from the outset [for his ‘service’ of providing the new job]. The man had never been turned down and was taken aback. He threatened to fire don Juan from the job. Don Juan threatened him back, saying that he would go directly to the lady’s house and see her. Don Juan knew that the woman, who was the wife of the owner of the mill, did not know what the two foremen were up to. He told the foreman that he knew where she lived, because he had worked in the surrounding fields cutting sugar cane. The man began to haggle, and don Juan demanded money from him before he would accept going to the lady’s house. The foreman gave in and handed him a few bills. Don Juan was perfectly aware that the foreman’s acquiescence was just a ruse to get him to go to the house. …
“As soon as we got there, I ran into the house to look for the lady. I found her and dropped to my knees and kissed her hand to thank her. The two foremen were livid.
“The foreman at the house followed the same pattern as before. But I had the proper equipment to deal with him; I had control, discipline, forbearance, and timing. It turned out as my benefactor had planned it. My control made me fulfill the man’s most asinine demands. What usually exhausts us in a situation like that is the wear and tear on our self-importance. Any man who has an iota of pride is ripped apart by being made to feel worthless. … ”
This time, instead of feeling sorry for himself, don Juan controlled himself while he worked on finding the boss’ strengths, weaknesses, and personal quirks. While his strengths were his daring and violent nature, his weakness was that he liked his job – he couldn’t kill don Juan on the compound or he might lose his position. He was also a family man, with a wife and child living near the house.
Having forbearance meant being patient for the right time to act, all the while enduring the tortures of slave labor and playing the role of ignorant worker to perfection.
He also employed his benefactor’s method of systematic harassment, by taking cover under the “higher order” of the Catholic church, as his forbears had done during the Conquest. He daily kneeled before the lady of the house, calling her a saint and asking for a medallion to pray for her. The foreman was livid upon learning that not only had she given it to don Juan, but don Juan had got the other servants to pray with him at night.
“Daily he shoved me into the stallions’ stalls hoping that I would be crushed to death, but I had a plank of heavy boards that I braced against one of the corners and protected myself behind it. The man never knew because he was nauseated by the horses – another of his weaknesses, the deadliest of all, as things turned out.”
Don Juan said that timing is the quality that governs the release of all that is held back. Control, discipline, and forbearance are like a dam behind which everything is pooled. Timing is the gate in the dam.
Don Juan found the perfect moment to neutralize the man’s violence under the cover of the watch of the other workers. He insulted the foreman by telling him to his face that he was afraid of the boss’s wife. The man went into a rage, but by then, don Juan was “solicitously kneeling in front of the lady.”
Don Juan said that when the lady went inside the house, the man and his friends called him to the back, allegedly to do some work. The man was very pale, white with anger. From the sound of his voice don Juan knew what the man was really planning to do. Don Juan pretended to acquiesce, but instead of heading for the back, he ran for the stables. He trusted that the horses would make such a racket the owners would come out to see what was wrong. He knew that the man would not dare shoot him. That would have been too noisy and the man’s fear of endangering his job was too overpowering. Don Juan also knew that the man would not go where the horses were – that is, unless he had been pushed beyond his endurance.
Don Juan jumped into the stall of the wildest stallion, hiding behind the boards he had prepared. The petty tyrant foreman charged into the stall blinded by rage and was killed with one kick of the stallion.
Don Juan told Carlos, “My benefactor explained something very interesting. Forbearance means holding back with the spirit something that the warrior knows is rightfully due. It doesn’t mean that a warrior goes around plotting to do anybody mischief, or planning to settle past scores. Forbearance is something independent. As long as the warrior has control, discipline, and timing, forbearance assures giving whatever is due to whoever deserves it.”
Carlos asked don Juan what measured defeat in an encounter with a petty tyrant. “Anyone who joins the petty tyrant is defeated,” he replied. “To act in anger, without control and discipline, to have no forbearance, is to be defeated.”
What is important about this subject is that the petty tyrant dynamic is the fundamental feeding mechanism of third density, and as such, is the real reason, or the psychological reason, that is the interface between the theological drama and the events of our lives. Don Juan has just told a story that caricatures the interaction so that we can recognize the chief features easily by association.
Just to review the classifications of petty tyrants, don Juan tells us that the primal source of energy, or the ruler of the universe, is The Tyrant. This resonates with Gurdjieff’s Sufiesque idea that our world is run by an “Evil Magician.” It also fits with the Gnostic Demiurge, and the Cs’ presentation of the STS hierarchy that dominates our world from fourth density. It is in comparison to this Matrix Control System, The Tyrant, that even the worst of the despots and authoritarians of our reality are petty tyrants. These petty tyrants would be someone such as Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Torquemada, and others with the power of life and death over other people. Below them are the “minor petty tyrants” who do not have the power of life and death over others, but who do persecute and cause misery, or who are exasperating and bothersome, as Castaneda phrased it. These are “little petty tyrants” and “teensy weensy petty tyrants.”
Don Juan then tells us that the “little petty tyrants” are further subdivided into four additional categories: one that torments with brutality and violence, another that does it by creating unbearable apprehension through deviousness, another which oppresses with sadness, and the last, which torments by making warriors rage. What we will be noticing is that the same petty tyrant can, at different times, operate through any of these modes.
The purpose of the petty tyrant in our lives is to teach us detachment. It is a challenge to deal with impossible people, but by doing it, we acquire sobriety and serenity. In short, out of the fire comes light.
Don Juan described the steps of utilizing a petty tyrant to achieve a state of expanded consciousness. The first step is to consciously decide to seek Truth. As Gurdjieff noted, the question must be a “burning one.” Neo, in The Matrix, had a “thorn in his mind.” The Cs have said that it is a result of being “at that point on the learning cycle.”
The next step is to change one’s views about themselves and the world. This means to no longer accept the party line of the Matrix, and to begin the work of digging beneath the surface. This process reveals to the seeker that there is evidence everywhere of the hyperdimensional reality in which our own is embedded. Once this realization is made, the individual must decide if they wish to access that reality, or if they are simply content with the present one. The Matrix presented this as choosing whether or not one wishes to take the red pill, or the blue pill.
This is, essentially, the choice to become a warrior. A warrior, in mythical terms, is an individual who is capable of self-discipline and control over himself because this is what is necessary to take the next step of becoming a person of knowledge. This is knowledge that is only accessible by integration of the higher mind into the third density reality. This then becomes the mustard seed of the growth of the self into fourth density whereby the knowledge can be directly accessed. Unfortunately, this understanding has been seriously derailed by many New Age teachings wherein the “intelligence of the heart” has been completely twisted to mean feelings or emotions or indiscriminate “love.”
Gurdjieff describes this process as “fusion.” He remarks that inner unity is obtained by means of “friction,” by the struggle between “yes” and “no” in man. And this is where we find the usefulness of the petty tyrant. Petty tyrants produce friction in our lives. They are annoying, irritating, aggravating. They can drain our energy with their demands on our time and attention through the hooks of pity and manipulation. They can lie about us, have fits and give performances of righteous indignation that is based only on their own illusions, violate our privacy, our free will, and just a host of fun and games. But, what is important is that they are like sparring partners who teach us forbearance and timing. Of course, that is not their intention. But as Mephistopheles told Faust, “I am he who constantly intends evil, yet does good.”
The machinations of STS in our world are like that: the Matrix, the Predator, the Evil Magician, the fourth density STS Control System, entropy; by whatever name you call it, it functions by draining us of our energy, uses us for food, and manipulates us for further purposes unknown; and it is done via agents, vectors of direction, sirens: psychopathic petty tyrants.
If we practice against the petty tyrant successfully, we are enabled to take the fourth step: to become seers. And here we don’t mean a psychic who looks into a crystal ball; the meaning is one who sees what is real.
And so it is that when we discover a petty tyrant in our lives, a strategy is necessary to induce them to spar with us, a systematic harassment that not only engages them, but also causes them to expose themselves for what they are to other people. In this way, not only are they helpful in honing our skills, they are rendered unable to inflict their tyranny on others. That is, of course, another purpose of this public recapitulation.
A key fact to remember is this: in the deepest sense, we are not sparring with an individual; it is with a program, with “agents of the Matrix,” the “mechanicalness” of the world, or the fourth density controllers pushing the buttons and pulling the levers behind the scenes. As the Apostle Paul wrote: “For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood, contending only with physical opponents, but against the despotisms, against the powers, against the master spirits who are the world rulers of this present darkness; against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly, supernatural sphere … ” (Ephesians 6:12)
And in the dynamic of Castaneda’s account of dealing with the petty tyrant, we discover how it is that Knowledge Protects. Give the lie what it asks for: Truth.
Our Very Own Petty Tyrant
We come now to the story of making waves by writing The Wave.
In response to many questions and requests for more information about the Cs material, which was all I had put up on the Internet, in the spring of 2000, I began to write The Wave Series. This attracted a great deal of attention, mostly positive, though it also attracted the personal attention of what seem to be some extremely dark forces.
In order to explain this adequately, we have to back up to the spring of 1999, when I was put into contact with a fellow named Vincent Bridges. He immediately showed interest in my ideas regarding the Rennes-le-Château phenomenon, and we exchanged a fair number of emails on the subject, all of which are available on our website. During our exchange, Bridges represented himself as an investigative journalist who was an expert on New Age/Occult matters, and with connections to all the big names. He was, he said, writing a book on the subject of Alchemy and Fulcanelli and he wanted to get as much information from me as possible to help with his analyses. Unfortunately, I was taken in immediately by this flattery. After all, here was a real, bona fide journalist and expert who was actually interested in what I thought about a subject that had received such wide publicity. I was a nobody! I was so happy that, finally, here was someone who was pursuing the same lines of research, and he was so charming and knowledgeable! Little did I know at the time that it was all an act.
When his book was finally finished in the fall of 1999 (and I had been waiting with baited breath to read what I was sure was going to be the best analysis of alchemy and Fulcanelli that had ever been written), to say that it was anti-climactic is an understatement. He sent me a copy and I read it with a growing sense of frustration and disappointment. Not only was it naïve and shallow, he had taken a great deal of the material I had sent him and had twisted it all out of recognition for some obscure purpose. I began to wonder if we were even talking the same language. There were a few more or less desultory exchanges for the next few months. I believed that he was sincere and even told myself that he was right not to trust the Cs – or any channeled source – without doing the research, but the issue of where and how the ancient sources he relied on got their knowledge was still not resolved.
At this point, I decided that probably the best way to explain all the ideas, experiences and material that combined in my thinking was to write it up for the website. I began a series on the subject of the Holy Grail.
I wanted to be as helpful to Vincent as possible because even though we did not agree on several issues, I did not see it as a serious thing. I believed that if he had all the data I had collected, we would be more in agreement. To that end, I found a small part in his book that I felt I could quote in my writings on the web (The Grail Quest), and did so, giving a link to his book.
Things continued on in this way for several months until I just didn’t see much point in continuing the correspondence. I was busy writing and gardening, our discussion group had begun as a result of people writing to ask questions about the website, and things were just stable, as one might say. I published my exposé of the Rennes-le-Château, then, along came a totally bizarre email that actually frightened me a bit. This prompted me to re-activate my correspondence with Vincent because I was sure that he would have some knowledge about the occult language that was being used in the email. Of course it never occurred to me that he, himself, had sent the email for that express purpose.
In the fall of 2000, “Frank Scott” (pseudonym) – a long time member – left the working group. In the same period, Vincent Bridges initiated a discussion with me in which he claimed to be a struggling new publisher needing good authors – with an offer to publish my work with his company, Aethyrea Books.
Being overwhelmed with the work of keeping up with the discussion group, answering questions, editing the transcripts, researching clues from the material, and writing articles for the site, I thought Vincent was a godsend! Having corresponded with him for almost two years, even if we did not agree on everything, I felt I could trust him, and I turned over to him unpublished material, confidential materials that he suggested he would help to edit, and believing that my life’s work was in good hands, I settled down to concentrate on getting the book ready.
We began working on this project in the early part of 2001. It wasn’t long before I invited Bridges to become a member of our discussion group. So, throughout the spring and summer of 2001, there was very intense and regular interaction.
The summer of 2001 … I’m sure that a great many people wish we could all go back to those last few weeks before 9/11 changed our world.
In any event, also in the summer of 2001, the Cassiopaeans initiated a daring plan that can only be seen in retrospect, setting up the conditions for me to experience a direct visual representation of Vincent Bridges. What I saw stunned me. His mask was so effective and convincing that I could hardly believe that what I was seeing was true. After all, this was not just a matter of deciding you didn’t like someone and didn’t want to associate with them for one reason or another. The fact was, just as I had liked Frank Scott very much, I also liked Vincent Bridges and where both of them were concerned, had spent many enjoyable hours in conversation with them. This was seeing on a whole new level and I had many, many doubts about what I was seeing. It was actually painful to contemplate the necessary response to the understanding. If knowledge really did protect – but only if applied – Ark and I had to apply what we knew.
We discussed the matter for weeks seeking hard data – evidence. It was not lacking, certainly, but it was always possible to give the benefit of the doubt and overlook the subtle clues. A hypothesis was formed, a series of tests were devised, and – once again – the Cassiopaeans were proven correct – with a twist. It seems that this experience was the opening of the door to one of the most advanced lessons of adeptship available to the ordinary human. It was also, obviously, a test of sorts.
The facts of the situation are as follows:
While Bridges and his wife were allegedly getting my book, The Noah Syndrome, ready for publication, he proposed an idea for a conference in September of 2001. Our regular policy at the time was not to do any conferences. Bridges knew this, but we agreed to do it as a favor to him, to help his “business” sell our books that he was preparing to be published (which, as it turned out, were not even ready in time for the conference, nor did Bridges even have a real publishing company as he claimed!). However, in the time leading up to the planned dates for the conference (Sept 21-23, and 9/11, had we only known it), several strange things converged on us simultaneously with the information received from the Cs about Bridges.
First of all, we received a lot of emails from readers who were concerned about our public association with Vincent’s so-called Fifth Way Mystery School. I had only read Vincent’s articles on subjects dealt with in his book, like the Grail legends, the Rennes-le-Château mystery, and Fulcanelli. Vincent himself had told me that he was an investigative journalist and repeatedly expressed doubts about the Cs, so I had been reassured that he was a rational person and certainly wasn’t into anything weird. I was wrong. After reading the emails from readers, I went and had a look for myself.
I was a little upset at what I found on the Net, considering the subject matter we had discussed. Vincent had many articles on the subject of his Enochian magick, and all the so-called workings or rituals that go along with it. Here’s a sample:
The Apocalypse working completed, perhaps for the first time since its transmission in the 16th century, the Enochian or Ophanic astral communication device. This structure included the basic forms necessary to harmonize the on-coming galactic alignments. … A little more than a year later, the Ophanic Intelligences announced that projecting the Tree of Life on the Celestial sphere on the equinox for the next ten equinoxes was the simplest way to align with the energy shift of the Great Cross. … It was indeed the OI angels that gave me the clue.
The second thing brewing in the summer of 2001 was that we were being accused of belonging to a Nazi black magic cult and, lo and behold, Vincent just happened to have pages on his website that could easily be interpreted as being such. In fact, in retrospect, it seems like a definite set-up. We in no way wanted to be associated with black magic, Nazis, or any such mumbo-jumbo. In addition, we had learned of the perceived connection between these groups and anti-Semitism. It should also be mentioned that many of Ark’s professional colleagues were – and are – Jewish.
There seemed to be two ways to look at the problem we were confronted with. The first thing was our responsibility to our readers to live what we talked about, and the second was whether we could trust what we were sure we were seeing behind the scenes even if there was no overt evidence of bad intent from the side of Vincent Bridges?
We knew that there was really no way we could continue to be associated with the ideas that Vincent Bridges was promoting; we knew we had to make that a reality if nothing else. So, we posted a disclaimer in latter part of July about our appearance at the conference on our website, stating that our presence there did not mean that we advocated the ideas of the promoters or other presenters. Since Ark has attended and organized many scientific conferences, we thought that this would be enough.
We also decided to give Vincent the opportunity to make his own position clear. We asked him, for the sake of our reputation, our work and even safety (the attacks against us relating to the charges of being associated with Nazi black magic and anti-Semitism were really getting intense to the point that we were receiving death threats), to remove the “magick” material from his website and to disassociate himself from such ideas publicly so that we could continue our work together. He refused.
So when Vincent refused to dissociate from his magick, we decided to dissociate from him and decided to cancel our attendance due to these issues. We cancelled our book publishing agreement. We obtained legal advice on how to do this since, at the time, we didn’t know that the agreement had been made with a non-existent company!
In the world of conferences, if an invited speaker cancels, for whatever reason, it is the responsibility of the organizers to find an acceptable replacement, if such is needed. At this point we discovered that the conference attendees were almost exclusively our readers and discussion group members. In short, we were the lynchpin, the attraction, the goose that was supposed to lay the golden egg. When we cancelled, nearly all attendees also cancelled and requested refunds of their deposits or payments. But keep in mind, this was still over six weeks before the dates of the conference. At that point, we had our own private 9/11, Vincent aimed for us like a jumbo jet sailing into the Twin Towers: flames and defamation, libel, and so on. That is what baffled us. We could not understand how an individual who claimed to be so esoterically knowledgeable, so psychically advanced, so full of the milk of human kindness and understanding, could behave like a low-life guttersnipe and write the filthy, disgusting, libelous things that he and his friends began to spread around the web about us. It not only baffled us, it got our attention. Since we could see quite clearly that he had no regard whatsoever for facts or truth, it made us begin to question everything he had ever said to us before this parting of the ways. And so, after suffering in silence from August until November, we finally decided to try to find out the truth.
On a practical level, my questions about the matter were put to rest when the Perseus Foundation research group undertook an investigation of Bridges – including a professional private investigator’s report – in the fall of 2001. To my chagrin, it was revealed that Bridges was little more than an ordinary con artist. Not only was his entire published resume a complete fraud, he had a history of attaching himself to individuals – to ride on their coattails, so to say – in hopes of stealing their work, their money, or both.
Even though there was a history of fraud, Ark and I were reluctant to publish the report on Bridges. However, it finally became necessary to respond publicly to the many attacks Bridges made on us in response to our attempts to simply disassociate ourselves from him. It was certainly clear that there was something very, very wrong with the interaction, and only much later was it realized that the entire dynamic was a crucial lesson.
As it turned out, learning about Vincent Bridges through personal interaction produced a question that needed an answer. And the seeking of the answer resulted in developing the necessary tools and insight to move the Cassiopaean work to the next phase – the Quantum Future School.
Mr. Bridges reacted to the data presented in the report as expected: at all costs he wanted it removed, and since he could not force us to remove it legally (truth is not libel or slander), he resorted to attempted blackmail and extortion to try to force us to remove this report.
Not only did we discover that Vincent was trying to use us to make money at a conference to promote our books (supposed to be published by his company), we discovered through the tax collector’s office, as well as the Secretary of State’s office in North Carolina, that he did not even own a legally registered company and therefore, any of his representations as being a publisher were fraudulent and misleading. His co-author, Jay Weidner, later filed the corporation papers on Aethyrea Books, LLC, and this was the first time that it had existed as a legal corporation.
At some later point, Mr. Weidner described in detail how he had been defrauded by Vincent, including the fact that Bridges claimed to have written a novel for DAW books, articles for Rolling Stone, Cream, and Newsweek magazine. Weidner felt that Vincent had made these claims in order to establish credentials and convince him that he was a legitimate writer and that Mr. Weidner could feel confident in working with him as a co-author. Vincent posted on the Internet in numerous places that we had blackmailed Jay into writing the letters that said these things.
Mr. Weidner then detailed several items relating to the hows and whys of his having been defrauded by Vincent and the fact that he had actually paid for the initial publishing of their co-authored book. He pointed out that the book was, indeed, published with the Aethyrea Books, LLC logo. He pointed out that not only had he not received repayment for the monies he spent on their research trip, but that he had also never received any monies from the sale of the books that Vincent was marketing under Aethyrea Books, LLC.
Mr. Weidner next wrote that he feared that his work was being “destroyed by Vincent Bridges’ dishonesty and misrepresentation.” He then announced that Vincent and his wife, Darlene, “commited [sic] fraud. Not just with me but with several other potential authors.” He announced that he was preparing a lawsuit against Vincent and Darlene for “misrepresentation.”
Several letters were published by us, on behalf of and at the request of Jay Weidner, in our ongoing effort to expose what we then understood to be a serious Internet predator who has a history of theft, lies and fraud.
We discovered, to our chagrin, that Vincent Bridges seems to be unable to comprehend the difference between lies and truth. The Perseus Foundation report was researched thoroughly, and by accusing it of being false, he is accusing a lot of people of being liars who clearly have no reason to lie. His story changed time and again after the truth was exposed, and never did he say a single thing that addressed the fact that his original bio and credentials were all lies.
He has since then repeatedly – for over 6 years, on dedicated websites and wherever he can obtain a dupe to believe him – accused us of “libel, slander, defamation of character, cyberstalking,” etc., in the true manner of the psychopath who always accuses their target of what they themselves are doing. When he began to accuse us of blackmailing his former co-author, Jay Weidner we should have known that he was effectively announcing his next maneuver.
At one point, Mr. Bridges declared in several places on the Internet that he was going to “publicly address the Cassiopaean Cult issue and tell the real, unedited version of the story.” He then announced that he was going into the business of distributing our copyrighted work free to anyone who wanted it. This was accompanied by nonsensical lies that only he understood how to interpret it, and the further claim that we were deceptively “altering” the text and had been doing so “from the beginning.” Well, since he is not in possession of either the tapes, or the notes, we wondered on what “facts” he based such claims.
There were other follow up posts, but I won’t bore the reader with the endless lies and nonsense. The bottom line was this: Vincent Bridges published the complete unedited transcripts without any care or concern for any of the private individuals who had attended sessions, many of whom had specifically requested that, at any point in time when the material was published, their names and identities should be disguised.
As we noted on our own page where the transcripts were available, it was the work of removing names and sensitive items that proper respect and regard for other human beings mandated, that held up the publication, along with the necessity of going back and checking the transcribed material with the notes and tapes to ensure its accuracy. It was and is an enormous job. In some cases, we have done global file replacement, which has resulted in areas of file distortion, but in no case is this intentional obfuscation. Little by little, we have been working to correct the errors in the transcripts, and this takes time. We are also entitled, as the owners of the material, to not publish those portions of it that are personal.
So, the point was not the distribution of the material, which we give away free on our own website, the point was concern for the privacy of people who had entrusted their privacy into our care, as well as our legal right to ensure that the transcripts are accurate, or to make sure that appropriate notes or comments are appended when we are not sure.
Knowing that it was futile to appeal to Vincent Bridges to have concern for other people’s privacy, we directly addressed the owners of the server where Bridges had parked the pirated transcripts via email and fax.
In response to our request to the server that the transcripts be removed, Mr. Bridges sent the following email which included a startling email from “Frank Scott”:
Date sent: Thu, 10 Jan 2002 13:06:34 -0500
Subject: FW: Permission Granted!
From: Vincent Bridges <…@ac.net>
Unless you want the entire sordid saga published, you might think of taking my name down.
Date: Mon, 7 Jan 2002 04:15:49 EST
Subject: Permission Granted!
I will now make the following statement on your behalf:
My name is [Frank Grant Scott]. I give full and complete permission to Vincent Bridges to publish in full or in part the Cassiopaean transcripts in the way that he chooses and for whatever purposes that he deems appropriate.
I participated in all of the sessions that took place between July, 1994 and November, 2000. My participation in the channeling sessions was to an extent as great as or greater than that of any and all other participants.
[Frank Grant Scott]
Aside from the fact that Frank’s claim that his participation in the experimental sessions was “to an extent as great as or greater than that of any and all other participants,” is an outright lie (and there were, in fact, sessions in which he did not participate), the legal fact is that the transcripts have been copyrighted by me from the day that I transcribed and printed out the first copy back in 1994. That is the legal fact.
Any and all witnesses (of which there are many), as well as the hard evidence, shows that Frank’s “permission to publish” is as valid as permission from Garfield the Cat. He does not, and never did, have any copyright rights. All of the experiments were conducted in my house, on my equipment, recorded by me personally, my voice. I own the tapes, I transcribed nearly every word, I burned the CD that Vincent Bridges pirated, that he was no longer entitled to have once we had terminated our relationship and requested return of same.
In short, Mr. Scott’s presence at the sessions was the only thing he ever contributed, and there were a lot of other people present at different times. Being a guest in our house does not constitute owning what we produce there! By Frank’s standards, any other guest would also have the right to grant permission to publish. In point of fact, dealing with Frank throughout the entire period of time, was problematic at best as those who have read Amazing Grace already know.
But what is a more serious matter, as it turns out, is the fact that Vincent Bridges has, by writing the above email, attempted to blackmail us, to extort and coerce us. Blackmail consists of two elements:
a) extortion or coercion by threats especially of public exposure or criminal prosecution
b) the payment that is extorted.
Example from a real court case: SS threatened to expose MD on the Travis Carroll & Justin Show. This exposure would have harmed Dubose’s career and most likely his future emloyeement. In return for silence, SS was trying to coerce MD into turning down one offer with the expectation that JS would accept another, thereby giving SS greater job security.
You have coercion, threat of exposure and expected payment. Vincent Bridges wrote: “Unless you want the entire sordid saga published, you might think of taking my name down.” He is threatening to publish the unedited transcripts with names and personal details, and he expects a return – payment in the form of us removing our articles about his fake bio and phony credentials, and psychological terrorism.
Even though Mr. Bridges was clearly attempting to blackmail us, and we knew it, we were only concerned about the innocent people who wished to have their identities and personal information removed. What was more, the remark about the “entire sordid saga” didn’t really apply to the transcripts alone; it didn’t make a lot of sense so we dismissed it.
As it happens, the Universe was on the alert. Later that day, another email came from Jay Weidner.
Date sent: Thu, 10 Jan 2002 22:24:15 EST
Subject: Re: VB again
To: Laura Knight-Jadczyk
[Vincent and I] exchanged a couple of very bitter emails. I told him he was a sociopath and that I couldn’t sue his book company because it does not [legally] exist. This is his reaction. I will not be emailing him anymore so maybe it will go away.
By the way he says that he has ‘proof’ that you attempted to murder someone. […]
Well, well, well. It all became chillingly clear. I instantly understood that it was, indeed true, that Frank had written the above letter (which I had initially doubted because I was quite certain that Frank knew enough about the law to not do something that stupid), and why.
Those readers who have read Amazing Grace will surely recall the chapter where I describe Frank’s long years of embezzling funds from his former employer which, at the end, caused his father’s death by suicide. For those of you who have not read it, you may wish to have a look at the chapter entitled “That’s Hollywood!”
The chapters subsequent to that explain how I reconciled myself to Frank’s perfidy, how I explained it away, and essentially put full confidence in Frank that he had learned a significant lesson, and that he needed to be trusted in order to be trustworthy. After all, that is what we are taught, isn’t it? So, I trusted him. And I confided in him a number of things, including the story I am about to tell.
Even though Mr. Bridges thinks that he has discovered a “major skeleton” in the closet, it just so happens that this event is something that journalist Tom French duly investigated and decided not to write about since it was essentially, not significant to the story. Some may think that he should have, because the fact that women are sexually assaulted with alarming regularity gets far too little attention as it is. But he was correct in his decision, in my opinion, because to tell it would have taken up space in a story that was, essentially, focused on different issues.
Nevertheless, when Tom interviewed me, even though I was very reluctant to talk about something so distressing, I did tell him everything. As every other woman who has ever been through a similar experience will agree, it was so unpleasant that I have spent over 30 years trying to forget it. And Tom agreed with us that it ought to just be left in the past. Because, in the end, it was proven to be a very similar event to what Mr. Bridges is attempting to do now: coercion, blackmail and extortion. As one reader has noted: “Anyone who would attempt to blackmail you with this incident falls into the same category as the person who committed the initial assault. Such people view others as prey. They assess all those that they wish to prey upon as vulnerable and methodically proceed to search for a weak point and then attack.” And sometimes they take years to do it, as is proven in the case of “Frank Scott”.
When I received the email from Vincent’s former friend and co-author remarking that Vincent Bridges “says that he has ‘proof’ that you attempted to murder someone,” along with Bridges’ simultaneous attempt to blackmail us by saying he was going to tell “the entire sordid saga,” what I realized was the utter and absolute perfidy of Frank behind it – that he was, effectively, party to yet another criminal act that is almost the same as the embezzling he did from his former employer – because only Frank could have been the one to share this information with Bridges. What was more, Frank was being touted by Bridges as the “Cs authority,” who is claiming in a libelous way that we have been “altering the texts” of the transcripts from the beginning. We find this to be more than odd, since one of the early things we noted about Frank was the fact that he never seemed to be aware of what the Cassiopaeans said, and would discourse for hours about issues in which everything he said was in complete contradiction to their messages. At one point, I provided him with a printed copy of the text so he could read it, but it became apparent that he was either not reading it, or that he could not comprehend it, because he continued to pronounce “knowingly” on many subjects from a totally opposite viewpoint. It was clear that the communications from the Cassiopaeans were not coming from Frank.
The long and short of it was that Frank claimed to be the channel, and the only channel, and repeatedly wanted us to convert the experiment from using the board to direct trance channeling with him as the only source. On the several occasions we tried it, we found that the personality and feeling of the contact was so distinctly different – and, in fact, repellant – that we realized that this suggestion was the maneuver of the STS forces to take over the work completely.
Just as it had been with his former employer, Frank did as little work as possible, and thought that he was entitled to a whole lot more than he actually earned, and just decided to write himself a weekly check. In relation to the Cs, Frank is trying to write himself another check on somebody else’s account.
Considering the evidential fact that he has now chosen a path of deliberate disregard for the legal rights of others, his participation in an attempt to blackmail, extort, and coerce us, any further statements from Frank Scott must be considered to be emanating from the same source as Vincent Bridges. Bridges has demonstrated total disregard for the truth, for the free-will rights of others, and he has clearly established that he believes that the readers are too lazy to check things for themselves. He has also made it evident that his philosophy is the bigger the lie, and the more often it is repeated, the greater the likelihood that the public will believe it. In short: they have nothing but contempt for other human beings.
If, at any point, Frank Scott becomes the “authority of dirt” to back Bridges up, promoted as the “witness who knows the truth,” caveat lector, is all we can advise.
Having this realization, and putting it together with all the odd remarks the Cs had made about Frank through the years, we realized that there were many mysterious pieces of the puzzle finally coming together. We decided to have an unscheduled session and find out exactly what was going on. And then, even though there were a dozen other tapes that still need to be transcribed and posted at the time, I decided that I had better put everything else aside, transcribe this one, and post it.
From what the Cassiopaeans told us that night, it now all begins to make sense – it’s sick, but it makes sense. I never could quite put together why the Cs would slip through those cryptic remarks about Frank, and why they would refuse to answer certain questions when it was only me and Frank at the board. It seems that there was a lot of information that could not be given with Frank present, and while I created many theories about this, it never, ever occurred to me that it was because I was being protected from Frank!
Well, all speculation aside, read what Cs said about the whole situation:
January 10, 2002
Q: (L) Hello.
Q: And who do we have with us this evening?
Q: And where do you transmit through?
Q: As you know, we have become aware this evening of Frank’s extraordinary conversion to the dark side. Is that an accurate way of perceiving it?
A: Close enough.
Q: Quite a few years ago, there were several remarks made on two or three occasions regarding Frank’s battle with the dark forces, and the issue of whether or not he would be able to resist their domination. Was it always known that he would fail?
A: He is not a failure.
Q: What do you mean?
A: From the perspective of STS he is a success.
Q: Why was it that we were able to channel STO material, with Frank being so borderline regarding this ultimate choice between STS and STO?
A: He was programmed for the specific purpose of “downloading” from you secrets coded into you before birth of your present body. He failed because you were incorruptible. He is now charged with the mission, in concert with Vincent Bridges, of destroying your ability to accomplish your mission.
Q: Well, that means that there is a strong possibility that the material that came through while Frank was a participant was very likely corrupted. Is that why you gave the figure of 72 percent purity of the material regarding those sessions?
Q: So, are you saying that Frank’s presence produced that 30 percent corruption?
Q: What was the form that most of that corruption took? Can we identify it?
A: Predictions and terror tactics.
Q: What is the advisable course of action to take at this point in time? Shall I stop what I am doing and take time to deal with the issues that have come up as a result of this action by Frank and Vincent?
A: Good idea to deal with it A.S.A.P.
Q: Should we also pursue legal action?
A: Yes, in terms of copyright.
Q: What about the stalking, harassment, defamation, blackmail?
A: It will be handled at the proper time by you, and you will know when to do it.
Q: (A) Why isn’t ignoring them completely not the answer?
A: Because they are not affected by being ignored. And your reality is such that lies and liars have prevailed in violating Free Will for millennia. They do this most effectively by programs that are designed to perpetuate it, such as “Turn the other cheek,” and “If you ignore it, it will go away.” Give what is asked for by a lie: Truth.
Q: (L) So, it comes back to balance. In the face of a lie, balance is only restored by truth. Well, now, let me ask this: did Terry contribute positive energy at the board?
A: Most of the time.
Q: Was that the reason that you encouraged Terry and Jan to be present? To counterbalance Frank’s negative energy?
A: Yes. Frank would have killed you with his STS draining rather soon otherwise.
Q: Is that why I (and everyone else) always felt so tired after some sessions and he always felt so energized?
Q: He was literally sucking my energy out of me?
Q: Is that why I had so many health problems during that period of time?
Q: Well, yes, the evidence was all there. The problem was, not being able to interpret it. Of course, one believes the lies, and Frank was very good at it. He was a consummate liar. And I already had the evidence of what a capable deceiver he was from observing his interactions with NE and other people, including his embezzlement of funds. But I chose to ignore it because I thought I could help him. I thought that our mutual interest in this project would help him as much as it would help me. And you are saying that the whole thing was set up, with all the synchronicities at the beginning, just for the purpose of getting me involved in this channeling experiment, to make the channeling experiment 72 percent positive, so that I would be encouraged to continue it, so that Frank could, more or less, vacuum out of me, from some level of consciousness, other information, and kill me. Is that what we are getting at here?
A: Pretty much.
Q: That’s depressing. Why do all these people hate Ark so much?
A: Because Ark won’t allow them to regard you as an object to use for their own nefarious purposes.
Q: In other words, it looks like Frank dropped out just as the time that Bridges moved in. Bridges was the new “agent.” He spent his time getting close so that he could come and attempt to extract the same information that Frank had failed to get, only the new plan was to try to use hypnosis. Is that what the plan was?
Q: Who is pulling the strings behind this whole thing?
A: It is better not to know specifics. But a clue: STS Consortium.
Q: I would really like to have some knowledge that would protect in this situation. I would like to know what actions to take, some inside information, something that would help us. Here we are, these guys keep us just constantly upset. Is this the way it is going to continue to be from here on out?
A: Not to worry, reinforcements are on the way.
Q: I sure wish they would show up now! We could use the cavalry. I mean, here we are, the wagon train is drawn up in a circle, we are surrounded by outlaws, we are down to our last few silver bullets; you keep telling us that we aren’t supposed to worry, that reinforcements are on the way, and so forth, and we just keep hanging in there, working, working, working, and I don’t see anything materializing here. I think we ought to just sell the house and retire.
A: Not yet!
Q: (A) I want to ask about my theory about why walking is so important – that when one thinks while walking, one is able to evade mind control signals which are directed or reinforced when one remains static. Is there anything to this?
Q: (L) I want to know what caused my ear infection?
Q: Should I continue to keep Frank informed in an effort encourage him to see the hole he is about to fall into? I can’t help but feel sorry for him.
A: He is going to fall in the hole anyway. So, why prolong the agony?
Q: What hole do you mean?
A: Suicidal thoughts; since he does not have the STO motivation to help others without an agenda, which gives staying power to those of the STO persuasion to survive great troubles.
Q: Well, then it seems to me that he ought to avoid getting into such troubles.
A: He can’t.
Q: What kind of drives?
A: Programmed in by parental abuse and neglect.
Q: Well, if you could say anything to Frank just now, would you want to?
Q: But ought I not to feel grateful to Frank for his participation, helping me groove the channel?
A: That was not his agenda.
Q: (A) We would like to know if it is recommended that we transcribe and publish the “mirror session” with Vincent Bridges, as part of the truth that needs to be made known?
A: Yes! All Truth is beneficial and promotes balance in a world dominated and run on lies.
Q: (L) Yes, but when you start telling the truth in a world dominated and run by lies, the liars go absolutely crazy in trying to destroy you! That is the plain hard fact that we have been facing. It is unbelievable to strip away the lies; layer after layer of lies, the liars themselves, impossible to conceive how they can lie the way they do; I am just utterly astonished by it.
A: Yes. It is part of your mission.
Q: (A) Well, I am wondering if the way I am managing these attacks is the proper STO approach? For example, I have blocked his access to the website. I have removed his entries to the guestbook. I have removed him from the egroup. I am just simply making his mission of spreading lies difficult. But I am not completely sure if this is an STO approach?
A: It is.
Q: (L) Well, I think he has the perfect right to tell all the lies he wants in the places where lies are wanted and asked for. He does not have the right to trespass on our space and tell lies because we do not ask for lies, we don’t want lies, and it violates our free will to try to discover truth in our space. He has the Matrioshka list that obviously wants to hear his lies. They make no effort to discern truth in any way, and they certainly got very upset when Ark posted truth on their list, which only gave them a small sample of how it feels to have your free will violated. He can tell all the lies he wants where they are wanted. Any other suggestions?
A: Just persist and be patient.
Q: Is there anything we can do to accelerate the receiving of assistance?
A: It is on the way.
Q: [laughter] I know that time does not exist on sixth density. However, all these months dealing with these lunatics seems like six years, or six thousand years. Well, I’m just whining.
A: Either way it will come. “Miles to go before you sleep.” Keep on going. Destination will be reached.
Q: Anything else we ought to know that we haven’t asked?
A: Not for now. Goodnight. [End of Session]
Now, I am going to reproduce here an account of the incident that Vincent Bridges and Frank Scott attempted to use as blackmail. This account is the one that I wrote for Ark when we first met. Just as I told it to Tom French who was entitled to know everything about me, I also told it to Ark from the very beginning. Unfortunately, at some point, I also told Frank Scott.
When he began to investigate the matter, Tom French told me that the public records on the event are so old that they don’t even tell the disposition of the case. Tom French had to search out the attorney based on my information, to interview him and the private investigator in order to get all the details.
In order to provide the “bona fides” behind the story, I searched for an email from Tom that I thought existed, but only later remembered that, after he had talked to Joe Aloi, the investigator, and Brian Hayes, the attorney, that he had called me to tell me how glad he was that everything was exactly as I had said it was, even adding that these two gentlemen who were truly STO angels in my life, had sent their best wishes to me and were very happy to know that I was okay.
So, not having anything in writing, and knowing how difficult and costly such record searches can be, I decided to just call Brian Hayes and talk to him about the situation. In any event, Brian and Joe were very happy to provide letters about the case.
Without further ado, here is the dreadful story about how Laura Knight, at the ripe old age of 18 years and 2 months, in Vincent Bridges’ words, “attempted to murder someone.”
My mother was a bookkeeper who had contracted with several local businesses to do their books. One of these businesses was owned by a man who was also something of a local politician. He ran for a State office and was elected, so spent much of his time in Tallahassee, the State Capitol. Mother ran his business for him.
He was sort of like a local big wig who had a home in the county, and an apartment in Tallahassee. When he was in residence here, he would come to the house and discuss the business with mother and drop off and pick up the accounting and checks and deposits and so forth.
During this time, I was spending many hours a day practicing the piano. I would practice in one room while they would spread out papers on the table in the other room.
One day mother announced that this man had expressed an interest in me and wanted to send me to school in Tallahassee where he could oversee my care. She thought this was wonderful and a great opportunity!
It was agreed that this plan would be put into action, but I had to finish school first. So, I attended locally from September 1969 to December 1969. At that point, the plan was that I would go to Tallahassee and finish high school there in an accelerated class, and then be enrolled at the University. So, in January I went.
An apartment had been reserved for me in the same building this man lived in when he was there doing his legislative duties, whatever they were. Everything had been arranged. So, I went to school, met new people, and things were fine for a few months – through April. The apartment building had a nice pool, and I enjoyed studying by the pool… or, for me, at least reading. A friend of mine came to stay with me because I was lonely and her mother knew this man also and thought this would be fine for her as well.
One night he came to our apartment and asked me to come down so he could talk to me privately since he had something very special to tell me and it was a surprise.
So, in an hour, when I was done with my homework, I walked down the outside walkway and knocked on the door. He answered wearing a robe and smoking a cigar and with a glass of liquor in his hand.
To make a long story short, it became clear that the man expected payment for his help. I was so dumb that I actually thought that he was just being a nice guy with a fatherly interest in me. But that wasn’t the case.
When I said “no,” he got rough. When he got rough, I fought back. When I fought back, he became enraged and started choking me. Since we happened to be standing in the kitchen, and I was being pressed back against the counter and was starting to lose consciousness, I threw my hands back to grab the counter to keep from falling. When I did, my hand landed on a heavy object with a handle. I grabbed it and hit him with it. He loosened his hold momentarily, but then started squeezing again and I hit him again, only harder this time since I had been able to get a breath. I hit him again in the head, and it was sort of a nightmare where he was totally enraged and I was totally determined to hit him until he let go of me.
At this point, he was bleeding on me, still refusing to let go, so I hit him again. I think I must have landed about four or five good ones before he let go to try to protect his head from another, and when he did I ran like hell. I was sure that he was after me, and I made it to my apartment, banged wildly on the door for my friend to let me in. She did and was utterly horrified. We were both just hysterical.
She was hysterical at the blood all over me and we didn’t know what to do… so she made me take off my clothes and go take a shower… then, while I was in the shower, still shaking with the thought that the man could force his way into the apartment, she told me that police cars and an ambulance were in the parking lot outside. Apparently the man had gone out to the balcony and yelled “rape” or some such nonsense, and someone heard him and called the police. I was dressed and shaking violently when the knock came at the door. He had made a statement to the emergency crew that I had attacked him for no reason after coming on to him sexually!!
I told them what really happened, and they were satisfied but told me not to go anywhere for a while until they investigated further.
And, seemingly the incident was closed. But, three days later, I was called out of my English class to find a message that the police department wished to ask me a few more questions. So, after school, I took the bus to the police headquarters. When I walked in, expecting to answer questions, handcuffs were immediately place on me and I was arrested for “Assault with a Deadly Weapon with Intent to Commit Murder.” The guy had created a fantastic story in which he was the “innocent” victim of a crazed teenager.
And I was taken and locked in a cell.
There is no way to describe such a transition. None. If a person is of a nature that they deliberately break laws, there is some idea in their mind that this could be a result. But, for a person who has, essentially, done nothing wrong but be stupid and naive, someone who has been betrayed by someone she trusted, who has been viciously attacked, and then, instead of anyone realizing that I was the victim, I was put in jail on the word of a psychopath and charged with trying to murder him! All women who have suffered this way understand that such an event is in a class by itself especially when the realization comes that grandfather cannot fix it, mother cannot fix it, no one can fix it. And, when the realization came that this was a “capital crime” and just having someone come and pay money to get one out of jail was not possible, well… just imagine it.
A week later I was taken, in handcuffs, to court and stood before a judge who read the formal charges. I was just 18 years old, and I had to walk down a public street, between two policemen, in chains.
The judge asked me if I had legal counsel. I started to cry and said no. But, a man sitting in the row of attorneys jumped to his feet and came forward and said: “Yes she does, your honor! I am offering my services!” He then asked me if I would accept him as my attorney and I said yes. So that was settled. I had an attorney. His name was Brian T. Hayes. He was assisted by a cracker jack Private Investigator, Joseph Aloi, and both of them were literally Knights in Shining Armor.
What they discovered about my “benefactor” was shocking. It seems that I had been the prey of a very sharp operator who had been trying to gradually draw me into a very ugly operation. (Sounds a lot like the situation with Vincent Bridges, eh?) And only my instinctive refusal to be used had saved me. Indeed, my resistance had plunged me into a somewhat serious problem, as it has repeatedly in my life. The Powers of Darkness don’t like it when you resist their attempts to control you or draw you into their plans. It is the same now as it was then.
You see, as a minor government official, my benefactor had a little side-line: he made home movies used for blackmail. Apparently, he had plans for me. He wanted to use me as the star in movies that would be filmed by a secret camera set up in an A/C vent. These movies would then be used to extort money, favors, and probably even for a special brand of lobbying.
All of the evidence of this little “business” was discovered while the guy was in the hospital, desperately trying to lie his way out of the mess he was in. He even tried to change his claims that I had assaulted him for no reason, he was so desperate to avoid scrutiny. But it was no go. Once the State decides to prosecute, it doesn’t matter if someone who formerly claimed to be a victim has now changed his mind. The State is a juggernaut, and the trial did take place.
Well, the bloodbath in the courtroom was actually worse than the one at the time of the incident. The guy, like all true psychopaths, lied himself black in the face, even when confronted with hard evidence of his intentions, his actions, his perfidy – in his own writing – and the end result was a resounding return of the verdict of “Not Guilty by Reason of Self-Defense.” And the only reason he wasn’t prosecuted for his own crimes was that he was so pitiful and swore he had learned his lesson, and also because he still had a few people in government offices who would go to bat for him (probably because he was blackmailing them).
In short, I was acquitted of any and all charges, exonerated, proven guiltless of any crime except protecting my honor and reputation, a situation I find myself in again and again.
And in the present situation, we find almost the exact same situation. Vincent Bridges has reacted against my refusal to be psychologically raped as violently as the benefactor of my youth. He has told the same kinds of lies. He has tried the same maneuvers. In fact, the entire scenario is something of a repeat.
You’d think those guys would learn.
The Forces of Darkness don’t like Truth. They don’t like people who resist their control and manipulation. And they will do anything, use anybody, tell any lie, stoop to any degradation, to try to force their control on other people.
And it seems that, by communicating a twisted version of this incident to Vincent Bridges, Frank Scott has firmly and definitively chosen which side he is on.
It was in January 2002 that Frank Scott joined forces with Vincent Bridges to discredit the Cassiopaean experiment, to label the members of the Cassiopaea discussion list as members of a cult, obviously in a concerted effort to put an end to the experiment itself.
Even though I had kept the door open for Frank to return to the group right up to the moment of his public attacks – just as I had hoped that Vincent Bridges would demonstrate that he was not as he had been revealed to be – I had to acknowledge the fact that two people I liked very much, whose companionship I enjoyed immensely, and who I felt could have been the most marvelous of co-experimenters had they chosen to release their egos and stop trying to manipulate, control and lie, had simply chosen the other path.
I was heartbroken. My health deteriorated rapidly, and in January of 2002 I suffered a life-threatening illness. After I had recovered enough to sit at my desk, I did the only thing I knew to do with what I had learned: I sought daily to understand the dynamic I had been shown through research and then, shared it with others by writing the present volumes, an account of the events and dynamics.
Day after day I struggled to make sense of what was happening in my life. As it turned out, my act of converting my suffering to sharing led to some profound revelations regarding the nature of our reality. Seeking to understand the inexplicable perceptions and capacity for deception of Vincent Bridges, Frank Scott, and others involved in the attacks, I searched and probed and tested on the daily public stage of the Internet. The search for answers led to revelations about psychopaths, which opened the door to our understanding of Organic Portals. Without this understanding, it would be almost impossible to comprehend the events on the world stage, most particularly including the behavior of George Bush and his gang.
Once I had escaped Bridges’ clutches and foiled his plans to associate me with such material (which I later learned are typical COINTELPRO tactics), then the next level of COINTELPRO was activated: libel, defamation, fake emails, the whole nine yards.
One of Vincent Bridges’ main rants was about our books. First he wanted to publish them. He couldn’t say enough nice things about our work as long as he was trying to maneuver our books out of our control so he could make money from our labor. After he had spent so much time trying to get control of them, only to shoot himself in the foot, he then did an about-face and began ranting, “You’re just trying to make a buck on lousy books … ”
Another of the rants of the Bridges gang was the typical COINTELPRO accusation of “cult! cult!” This was actually pretty rich because becoming free of cultic thinking is one of the main objectives of the Quantum Future School, and that is exactly why Vincent Bridges was kicked out: he couldn’t let go of his cultic thinking and manipulation. In short, creating a cult was exactly what Vincent Bridges wanted to do, and most of all, he wanted to do it in the Quantum Future School, with himself as the head guru.
It is also notable that he had a Fifth Way Mystery School formed up and waiting for his cult following long before our closed discussion group came to the idea that it was a genuine anti-cult school. The problem Bridges had was that he couldn’t get a following, and wanted to subvert our readers to his own benefit. And when he was removed from the group, his main rant was that we were trying to “suppress free speech.”
Well, things just got worse and worse as time went by. More death threats. My dog (offspring of the one that had died after the UFO sighting) was poisoned and died, my oldest daughter was run off the road three times by what seemed to be road rage-infected lunatics. The third time resulted in a serious accident that totaled her car. My second daughter was poisoned at a gathering of kids and spent three days on life support – nobody thought she would live. Our names and addresses were posted on an ADL group (the anti-Semitism label was being widely used by Bridges and his cohorts), and it was suggested that anyone in our area should “take care of us,” and on and on and on. False police reports were filed against us for abusing our children (thankfully, the police chief in our town knew us and just warned us that this was being done) and so on.
Bridges even called Tom French to repeat his filth to him. Tom wrote and told me about it. We complained to the FBI, the FDLE, etc. The special agent for FDLE told me on the phone that they could do nothing because it was “out of their jurisdiction,” since it was being done from another state. He then suggested that if I didn’t like what was being done to me that I ought to stop doing what I was doing that set Bridges off!!! In other words, Bridges could do whatever he liked, including filing false police reports, stalking, harassment, defamation, libel, slander, coercion, etc., and their answer was: “Well, give in to him.”
And so it is that this volume opens on the day that I discovered that Frank Scott, former Cass group member, had made a dark alliance with Vincent Bridges, COINTELPRO psychopath.