In January of 1994, the Frank & Dane Debacle (already described) unfolded and I understood why Frank had been so desperately interested in using the board to predict lottery numbers. After his father bailed him out of trouble, Frank was so humble and contrite, declaring he’d learned the most important lesson of his life, I was confident we’d made significant progress. The forces of our lives clearly demonstrated the importance of our living as cleanly and honestly as possible. This event seemed proof that great strides had been made in that direction. There was simply no point in ever bringing it up again. Such a secret had been a very great barrier between us. Now that it was gone, we could proceed at a more intense level of psychic and mental purification. From my own point of view, criticizing Frank for any difficulties in his life would have been calling the kettle black. I just hadn’t realized how serious the issues might be in Frank’s case. And so we continued.
After we had thoroughly discussed his experiences, and his certainty that his own nature was a result of some sort of “attack” from psychic sources, Frank turned the focus on me and enumerated the string of strange, synchronistic and miraculous events that had brought me to this moment. He cited point after point through my life history, right up to the past few years when the bizarreness had increased to the extent that I felt like I was living in a madhouse where normal reality no longer held sway. The formerly solid earth of my reference system slowly crumbled beneath my feet. With each point he made, I felt like another wave was washing over my foundation of sand. I seemed to be sinking into the mire of complete lunacy.
How can you deal with a life that has gone completely over the edge in terms of strangeness that you neither wish to experience, nor do you wish to perpetuate?
As Frank pointed out, even though I was most definitely a “non-believer,” as soon as I had gained some knowledge about the alien phenomenon, I encountered my first “alien abductee” case. Didn’t I think this was unusual? And wasn’t it a fact that UFOs had accompanied that first “abduction” session I’d conducted? Didn’t I think this was an unusual phenomenon? Not everyone who might be an abductee under hypnosis attracts a whole flap of UFOs.
The question was, of course: was it the abductee or the therapist in whom the denizens of UFO-land were interested?
I didn’t like the way the conversation was going.
Frank then pointed out the obvious (to him) connection between my deteriorating physical state and my own UFO encounter. When I protested there may be no relation at all, he pointed out how my dog had suffered and died within a very short time after this “exposure,” and how my symptoms always seemed to peak at exactly the time of night the UFO had come along. What was my explanation for that little item?
I had none. I was distressed for him even to put it in words. As long as it was unspoken, I could continue to ignore it.
He kept pressing his points: what about the Face at the Window? What about the kidnapping when I was a child by an individual who had been connected to the Navy in some mysterious way? What about the light outside at boarding school? What about the incident when I awakened reversed in the bed? What about all the gynecological mishaps I had suffered? On and on he went. And as he ticked off each item, I felt more and more nauseated.
Frank’s theory was that the whole UFO drama of recent times – a series of events spread across several counties, including dozens of witnesses, most of whom I didn’t even know – was “staged” to get my attention, to wake me up. What was more, even our meeting was obviously a “destined” event if one factored in the name synchronicities topped off by the Ypsilanti wrong number.
I did not like what Frank was saying. Like the incidents of the wet nightgown and the strange lights, I was really struggling to ignore the anomalies in my life. I did not like the connotation Frank was putting on my experiences. In the first place, I had studied too much, seen too much, and worked with too many troubled people to overlook the myriad ways the mind can deceive itself, not to mention the dangers of ego leading one in those directions. When anyone starts to think they are “special,” that God is “talking” to them, it’s a sure sign of descent into delusion and “magical thinking”.
Nevertheless, I had read many cases by that time of strange events similar to my own that were attributed to “aliens”, and that was the problem. Who or what were they? Were they literally visitors from deep space? Or were they the perceptions of victims of some vast government mind control experiment? Most terrifying of all: were they demons?
Why would anyone or anything go to so much trouble to set up so many bizarre things to get my attention if I wasn’t supposed to do something about it? And if I was supposed to do something, they had certainly picked the wrong person, because it was becoming pretty clear that I was probably not going to live a lot longer.
Considering this UFO business had another effect on me: I was grieving. I mourned the years I’d spent studying and digging for answers, only to have it all trashed in one night by a stupid black boomerang.
“Why me?”
“That’s what you need to figure out,” Frank said.
I detected the “signature” of an intelligence working in my life and my experiences and it was difficult to tell if it was to awaken me, or an effort to either destroy or divert me from something. If they were evil beings and had the power to interfere in my life with malicious intent, even when I was deeply involved in a life that included regular prayer and meditation – which one would suppose should act as a defense – what protection did anyone have? Were we, the human race, defenseless against these creatures?
The words of Gurdjieff came back to haunt me. Were the belief systems of metaphysics and religion useless drivel promulgated by an Evil Magician to convince people they were Lions, Men, Eagles or Magicians instead of sleeping sheep?
What kind of madhouse had I opened my eyes to see? Was the fact that I had seen it the very source of its existence? Was I, by noticing evil, more vulnerable to attack? Surely not: The evidence of the presence of evil threaded its way through the lives of others who denied all the clues. I saw clearly the mechanical or accidental nature of the Universe that Gurdjieff talked about. But now I realized that our own programmed refusal to see reality, our ignorance, was the chief door in our lives through which Evil and suffering entered.
Was it possible, as Gurdjieff suggested, to become free of this? To awaken? To see the projector behind the slide show of our lives? And, more important, to see who was running the projector and why?
I struggled with my thoughts and emotions for days. I was truly passing through the valley of the shadow of death. I had thoroughly convinced myself that UFOs and aliens could not possibly exist. In fact, even after the flap surrounding the hypnosis session with Pam, I had contemptuously declared that the “Millennial Disease” was spreading. Upon seeing the thing itself with my own eyes, I had pronounced it to be a flock of geese, in the same way I had rationalized the wet nightgown and grass seeds on the night I woke up reversed in my bed.
All those times, and the night I saw the strange light in the snow at boarding school, the events had been followed by protracted illnesses. If there were other incidents preceding any of my other physical disturbances, I certainly didn’t remember them. But by now, from studying the literature, I was aware that many people might remember nothing at all.
To consider the idea of malevolent beings in control of our world that could prey on us at will, behind our ordinary reality, was utterly soul shattering.
I began to see the possibility of an interpenetrating reality of more or less physical solidity that interacted with humans as we may interact with wildlife in a forest: the hunters and the hunted.
What was clear to me was the paranormal nature of the UFO phenomenon.
Down through the ages people have been visited by all sorts of strange beings. Some of these creatures have been utterly fantastic in description as well as activity. By far the most common type, however, have been humanoid – having some semblance to the human physical configuration – although their powers have been distinctly super-human.
I had read stories going back hundreds of years that told of these humanoid beings.
A creature with strange, glowing or compelling eyes comes in the night and somehow drains the energy, blood, or life force from a victim unable to call out for help and paralyzed in body and mind. Their presence often is heralded by unusual lights or freezing temperatures. The strange beings have powers that include the ability to disappear, to fly, to control weather, to direct the behavior of animals, to change into the form of animals, to pass through solid objects. The beings can produce hybrid offspring by having sex with their victims.
This belief in supernatural beings is to be found in every society around the world, a common theme in all religions as well as folklore. The reports are as frequent in our own day as they have ever been. And the numbers and types of visitors are legion. I realized that this historical assessment was quite consistent with the UFO and alien abduction situation.
“An Encyclopedia of Faeries,” (Briggs, 1976) gives many examples of fairy abductions. They show a startling similarity between fairy abductions and UFO abductions. People who reported interactions with fairies generally had marks on their bodies consistent with marks that were claimed to be “physical proof” of alien abductions. Fairy abductions and UFO abductions also exhibit striking similarities to the activities of incubi and succubi. Almost always a thick drink is given to the abductee, who is then paralyzed and levitated away. The fairies traveled in circular globes of light also commonly reported in UFO abductions.
In the end, many so-called fairies and aliens look and act a lot like historic descriptions of demons.
I was seeing, finally, a tradition stretching back probably thousands of years, of otherworldly beings abducting humans and their children.
Along with most rationalists, I had always considered these stories to be “psycho-dramas,” or “artifacts of consciousness”. The study of anomalous experiences, the paranormal, and related psycho-spiritual fields has occupied many of the brightest minds of our race for millennia. Endless theories and their variations have been proposed to explain them and, for the most part, such ideas are even behind most of the world’s religions. Jacques Vallee’s control system hypothesis is interesting in this regard. He writes:
“I believe there is a system around us that transcends time as it transcends space. The system may well be able to locate itself in outer space, but its manifestations are not spacecraft in the ordinary ‘nuts and bolts’ sense. The UFOs are physical manifestations that cannot be understood apart from their psychic and symbolic reality. What we see in effect here is not an alien invasion. It is a control system which acts on humans and uses humans.”
The very idea that this might be a reality that dominated or controlled our own was staggering. What made the problem so terrifying was the fact that my studies and experiences in “spirit attachment” and demonic possession were reflected in the so-called UFO and alien phenomena. They had the same taste, the same dynamic.
The fact that modern alien abductions mirror demonic infestation and vampirism is part of a historical pattern. This, according to Vallee, implies a pattern maker. But who or what that pattern maker is, or for what purpose it is operating the control system, Vallee will not or cannot say.
There are certainly striking parallels. The first thing I noticed in deeply studying this phenomenon was that some encounters with entities seem accidental, but others clearly are directed at a specific person. This led me to wonder whether the seemingly accidental encounters were as accidental as they appeared to be. In such a case, I had to ask again: did the manifestation occur in response to some hidden need, a psychological state that calls for outside intervention of some kind?
French ufologist Jean-Francois Boeded, in his book Fantastiques recontres au bout du monde (1982), suggests that UFO sightings start long before the actual experience. He noted many cases in which the witnesses had premonitions that something was about to happen, or for some reason they went home by a different route, or took an unaccustomed walk. Somehow, it seems, the witnesses were being prepared for the experience they were about to undergo. In many cases, the abductee claims there is a sensation of a presence before an actual encounter takes place.
I can’t say that any such “premonition” occurred in my experience. But that may simply be due to a lack of sensitivity or awareness to certain subtle clues. Perhaps my rational approach acted as a barrier?
However, Boedad has a point. Many so-called “attached entities” I conversed with during spirit release hypnosis claim that their host was chosen “before he was born”. In most cases, a line of contact and the gradually building assault can be traced back to childhood. It can be said, in general, that the process of possession has already begun before the target or those around him are aware of the signs.
Again, this flew in the face of many religious and philosophical teachings.
In any case of psychic vampirism or actual possession there is usually an actual entry point, the point at which the spirit enters into a relationship with the individual. A decision is made by the victim to allow that contact. This often occurs simply because the victim is not aware of the significance of the event. It seems to be a minor event and may come as the result of tiredness, mental excitation, frustration, or pain. These beings, whether demons, vampires or aliens, have the ability to control our thoughts to a certain extent, our physical bodies, the weather and events in our lives, to the point that we can be worn down under such attack and give in to control by another. In the case of alien abductions, repeated incidents may be a process of wearing down the victim as much as an energy stealing interaction.
The famed Betty and Barney Hill case describes a simulated medical test in which a long needle is inserted into the navel. A fifteenth century French calendar, the Kalendrier des bergiers, illustrates the tortures inflicted by demons on the people they have taken. The demons are depicted piercing their victims’ abdomens with long needles.
Jacques Vallee supposes that literally millions of similar incidents may occur, many unreported for fear of ridicule, others forgotten under the pressure of mind control techniques. Vallee doubts that a civilization with space and time travel capabilities would come in such numbers to do stupid things like abduct people and perform primitive experiments or examinations on them.
Many people reported that their abductors were benevolent beings. These stories seemed designed to perpetuate a dangerous and cunning lie. In my examination of the standard religions as well as the many and varied New Age teachings, I saw these systems being used as the very means of propagating such a lie. I could see individuals with no extensive knowledge of historical metaphysics being fooled by a belief in the “benefits” of alien abduction. We repeatedly see terms describing “light” or related phenomena. This tends to make the percipients regard the experience as good. Gurdjieff was right: mankind IS asleep. One of the conditions of this sleep is the absence of an active “BS meter”.
Are people asleep because they choose to be, or are they asleep because they are so cleverly deceived by “false light” which induces acquiescence and resultant hypnosis?
Many people reporting “abductions”, when the surface or screen memories have been probed in a competent way, reveal memories of events so chilling in their implications that the first interpretation must be looked at carefully. The fear evoked in these experiences is tangible. Yet, these other beings somehow convince that all they do is for “the good of the planet” or “the enhancement of our race” or “you agreed”.
Even the esteemed John E. Mack, M.D., professor of psychiatry at Harvard, seemed to have been taken in by such a view. He writes in “Abduction:”
“The idea that men, women, and children can be taken against their wills from their homes, cars, and schoolyards by strange humanoid beings, lifted onto spacecraft, and subjected to intrusive and threatening procedures is so terrifying, and yet so shattering to our notions of what is possible in our universe, that the actuality of the phenomenon has been largely rejected out of hand or bizarrely distorted in most media accounts.
“…My own work with abductees has impressed me with the powerful dimension of personal growth that accompanies the traumatic experiences …especially when these people receive appropriate help in exploring their abductions histories.
“…Let us suppose that [Cosmic Intelligence] … is not indifferent to the fate of the Earth, regarding its life forms and transcendent beauty as one of its better or more advanced creations. And let us imagine that the imbalance created by the over growth of certain human faculties … were diagnosed…as the basic problem. What could be done as a corrective? The two natural approaches of which we can conceive would be the genetic and the environmental. Is it possible that through a vast hybridization program affecting countless numbers of people, and a simultaneous invasion of our consciousness with transforming images of our self-destruction, an effort is being made to place the planet under a kind of receivership?” (Mack, 1993)
This view is rooted in emotional beliefs that cling desperately to any straw offered that those more powerful than we are “good”.
As I waded through the literature, I came across many controversial accounts said to originate from military intelligence officers, physicists hired to work on secret projects, and others claiming inside knowledge of a vast government cover-up. Some matched the reports of increasing numbers of people who have recalled, either consciously or under hypnosis, scenes of unparalleled horror and abuse at the hands of some of the so-called Alien visitors.
Why would such participants be motivated to come forward? Are they part of a vast mind-control experiment designed like a monstrous crazy-making drama, where the government secretly promotes a belief in aliens while publicly denying it? As they’ve penetrated deeper into the veil of secrecy, have they become horrified witnesses whose consciences prompted them to talk? Perhaps those in power began keeping their arrangements secret, only to discover they had a tiger by the tail and couldn’t let go. Maybe they began sending “agents” out to “reveal” fragments of the truth, while the possibility of forced exposure looms ever closer?
The book “Clear Intent” by Lawrence Fawcett and Barry J. Greenwood provides evidence based on the government’s own documents that the highest-ranking public officials and the elite of the U.S. security and intelligence organizations deliberately and persistently lied about Aliens and UFOs for the last fifty years.
I began to think: “The Alien presence on our planet is real. Those who choose to close their eyes to this reality do so at their own peril.” And I was terrified.
If there is a psycho-spiritual or even literally physical “invasion” taking place before our very eyes, under our very noses, represented in the symbolic system of our lives and experiences, interacting with this “control system” at some deep level, what kind of protection do we have?
Well, in thinking about it deeply, it does appear that these beings – whatever they turn out to be – can plunder our world, our lives and our very minds at will. But I also have observed that they seem to be going to an awful lot of trouble to conceal their activities and to confuse observers with hundreds of crazy stories of different “races” and groups of semi-mythological “good guys and bad guys”.
Many people who think they are psychic, have prophetic dreams or visions, channel “space brothers,” are contacted by beings who are here to “help” us or to “save us” if only we will let them, or have other psychic experiences are, in fact, being regularly visited by aliens who literally program these ideas into their minds. These stories are spread around, increasing the level of confusion. But the greatest deception of all is the idea that negative higher forces do not exist. And even if negative forces did exist, there’s no need to worry. If we just think nice thoughts, meditate regularly, and repeat our affirmations, nothing icky will ever enter our reality.
We are not dealing with materialistic, earth-based technology here! For God’s sake, these guys seem to be able to walk through walls, float people out of their bodies and control minds – the abilities we have historically attributed to angels or demons or vampires.
In the past, we dealt with ghosts and “gods” and demons. We are dealing with the same entities now, only we are calling them “aliens”. They probably always WERE “aliens!” And maybe they want to be “gods” again.
One thing I knew for sure from doing the spirit release work, evil insinuates itself into our lives in the guise of goodness and truth. This problem is made even worse by the acceptance of the New Age teaching that “evil” simply does not exist unless an individual creates it in their reality. Evil follows the line of erosion of our spirituality through the erosion of knowledge. What better way to protect evil activities than to deny that they exist?
The New Age types say that putting one’s attention on these ideas “gives them energy”. This is true only if one focuses in this way with the intention of participation. However, a comprehensive understanding of these forces is absolutely necessary in order to know how to give them less energy. Intent is everything.
It was a stunning and grotesque prospect for me to consider that humanity, as a whole, has been used and cunningly deceived for millennia. I realized that the UFO and alien business was truly nothing new. We have historical records of these phenomena stretching back thousands of years. But that raises an interesting question: If these beings could get what they want simply by moving in and taking it, would they spend so much time creating terror and confusion? Alternatively, perhaps the terror and confusion is exactly what they want to generate because they feed on it? But that makes me also wonder why they are going to so much trouble to persuade us to accept their total control if they could take it at will? These guys would not be spending so much time wearing us down and terrorizing us and trying to sneak in the back door if it were possible for them to walk in directly. There is something we have that they want. There is some power we have that they don’t want us to discover.
The act of facing the pattern of activity behind the events of my own life that bespoke such a hidden reality was absolutely soul-searing and mind-numbing. It acted as a conflict between my internal integrity, intellectual acuity, and all my emotional beliefs in a kind and loving god; Him for whom I had been seeking all my life. And I was reminded of what I had been told: “I cannot act until you remove the evil from between us.” And when I asked “what evil?” the answer was “LEARN!”
Well, I was most definitely learning. But I didn’t like what I was learning. You could even say that, of all people who never wanted to know anything at all about UFO’s and aliens, I deserve a place at the head of the line. Yet, there it was.
Standing back from my life in overview, there were the hints of some sort of pattern maker, and it wasn’t God in any sense that I had ever conceived of Him. Yes, I could see both positive actions and negative actions; a dynamic interplay of forces that related in some direct way to my own thinking, seeking, and growth. But exactly what it was, and precisely how it operated, I couldn’t tell yet. It was like a shadow show where the shadows are produced by certain angles of light behind objects which, when finally revealed, may bear no resemblance whatsoever to the form of the shadow. A balled up fist could as easily be interpreted as a bird or a dog, or – when expanded to its full shape – a hand. Just what was I seeing? What’s more, why did it seem that I was being challenged to see it? Why me?
I struggled until I was exhausted in my soul.
I remember clearly sitting on my bed one night at the end of this struggle, thinking about these strange “hints” that there was something deeper to our reality than I might have supposed in my years of research and work – something really, really big, that I had simply chosen to overlook and ignore. The only problem was, as I pointed out wearily to God, I was too sick to do anything. “You blew it, Buckwheat!” I told him. “If there was ever anything you wanted me to do, you let me suffer too much for too long.”
There I was, as non-functioning as a human being can be and still appear to be functional. But an overwhelming sensation of “purposefulness” swept over me. If all these things were orchestrated to get my attention, it had surely worked. But I was too far gone to pick up the ball and run with it. “If I am supposed to DO anything, you gotta fix me up here,” I said. “As I am, I can do nothing.”
Within two weeks I found Reiki. Or Reiki found me.
Continue to Chapter 41: Aunt Clara
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